


Breaking Apart

by Books in the Blood (WholockHobbit88)



Category: Forever (TV)
Genre: Beating, Bondage, Ecstasy of Agony, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, elements of BDSM, episode 1x08, non-sexual domination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 01:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 67,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3673182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WholockHobbit88/pseuds/Books%20in%20the%20Blood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Henry and Jo are growing closer each day but devloping a relationship with Henry is not that easy. Jo enlists Iona's help to get Henry to work through his emotinal issues. What Jo didnt count on was how much she needs Iona's help as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a close call with death on a case, Henry abandons Jo; deciding they've become too close, he starts to distance himself from Jo. But Jo wont let Henry go so easily and employ's Iona's help to get him to talk about what's really bothering him.

I have been completely obsessed with the idea of Iona and writing a fic with her since I first watched the first episode with her. I knew if I wrote a story with Iona it would not only have to include Henry but also Jo, so here's my Iona/Jo/Henry labor of love. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Warning: This probably goes with out saying, but this story contains bondage/beating but its not explicit.

 

 

Henry could feel Jo's presence enter the morgue before he even saw her. Looking up from the body he and Lucas were examining he sighed, seeing Jo walk across the room and make a beeline for Henry. Her face was set in determination like it always seemed to be now even though there was nothing that they could say to each other anymore. Henry felt the phantom pain of the past few weeks hit him in the stomach and tried to push past it. Pretending that he didn't notice Jo coming toward him, he looked back down at the body, immersing himself in the open chest cavity; anything but have to look at Jo and her disappointed and searching eyes. It wasn't supposed to be like this…

"Henry…do you have the autopsy notes for the Armstrong case?" Jo asked. Henry could feel her standing entirely too close to him; she was making it nearly impossible to ignore her.

"They are over there" Henry said shortly, pointing toward the desk with a scalpel, never looking up from the body.

"Actually, I was hoping that we might be able to go over them now" Jo said. Her voice would sound neutral to anyone else but Henry could detect a note of hope and even the slightest bit of desperation.

The lonely and aching part of Henry called out to him to act but, again, there was nothing to say. The only way he could distance himself from Jo at this point was to not put himself in the positon to be around her much and certainly never alone with her.

"Lucas can hash out the details with you" Henry said, still avoiding her.

Jo's urging was a little more obvious this time. "Actually, I need to discuss it with you Henry. No offense, Lucas"

"None taken" Lucas said. He shifted on his chair, looking from Jo to Henry. He had been around them enough lately to notice the change and it had often put him in an awkward position.

Henry looked up, just for a moment but it was enough; enough to see the pain, the betrayal in her eyes. He had to remind himself that it was better this way; that this way was the only one. "I can't right now. I'm….busy" Henry said. It was a lie and a lame one at that. It was obvious that he was just making an excuse but it didn't matter. Before Jo had a chance to say anything else, Henry was walking out of the morgue and into his office. Shutting the door behind him, he flung himself into his chair, fuming at himself and how unfair this all seemed. No…..he had to remind himself this was what needed to be done.

A few minutes later, Lucas popped his head into Henry's office, most unwelcome. "Brrrrr….things are awful chilly in here, don't you think?" he said, giving Henry an all too knowing look.

Henry gritted his teeth; none of this was Lucas' fault and Henry knew that he thought he was trying to be helpful but it all was getting to him. "Unless you have something productive to say, please leave" Henry said as calmly as he could manage.

"Just thought you might want to tell me what's going on between you two" Lucas said, leaning against the doorframe as if he was going to settle in. Well, don't get comfortable….

"I don't. Leave" Henry said a little more forcefully.

Lucas' face fell but he didn't look sad, just resigned. "Well, if you change your mind…I'm….here" he said a bit awkwardly before exiting Henry's office. Good….he was gone and Henry didn't feel guilty about it. Now he could sit back and fully stew in his dark thoughts and let them continue to fester. He didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to make it better; he wanted to sit back and think about it like he was picking closed wounds open fresh again.

He couldn't be around Jo; to have thought that he could get close to her in anyway in the first place was a mistake. He gotten lost for a while, forgetting his own rule for getting too close to people. The rule was that he didn't get close to people; he didn't have friends because he couldn't have friends. No one could ever really know him but Jo had managed to work her way into his life. But, that had to stop and a case they had worked a few weeks back had reminded him of that.

They had been pursuing a suspect when they had been shot. Jo had been hit in the leg; a gruesome wound but not fatal. She had fallen to the ground while another officer had continued to follow the shooter. Henry, on the other hand, had received a much more serious wound. He'd been shot in the chest; luckily he had turned away in time so that Jo hadn't really seen how bad his wound was. Jo had been too preoccupied her own wound to notice Henry until he was teetering on the edge of death, his head swimming, blood pouring freely out of his chest. He knew it would result in his death and that was not an option that he could allow to happen then. If he did, Jo would see him disappear right in front of her eyes and there was no amount of lying that he could do to cover himself. If he stayed, Jo would know he wasn't what he appeared to be and that was a sacrifice that he wasn't willing to give. So, like the coward that he was, he had crawled away from Jo and around the corner of the nearest building, out of her sight before he died. He hated having to do it. It wasn't a terrible death; unpleasant but not the worst that he had ever had. The worst part was knowing that he had left Jo, injured and bleeding in the middle of the street while she had been calling at him to come back. He hadn't known what to do so when he woken, he had just called Abe to come get him and take him home. He hadn't seen Jo for days after that; he didn't know what to say to her. He felt completely worthless, not only leaving her injured but not even bothering to check on her until she had half walked, half limped back into the police station days later. They'd barely said a hundred words to each other in the following weeks and Henry could hardly look at her. To look at her meant he saw her hurt which was obvious in her eyes no matter how much the rest of her countenance covered it. She was hurt by his leaving her, both that day and mentally in the weeks since. He couldn't even tell her why this was a good thing for her.

They had been getting too close for a long time. They worked together, spent long days together in the midst of dangerous situations all of the time and then went out for dinner or drinks, high on adrenaline energy. They were friends; it had been so long since Henry had had a friend that he has forgotten how nice it was. It was the comfort of it that reminded him why he didn't have friends. No one ever could really get close to him; the closer someone got to you the more they wanted to know about every detail of your life. The more that people knew about Henry the more they saw that not everything about him matched up and that was a dangerous place to be in. Jo was already asking the tough questions, had been asking them since the beginning. Already he'd slipped a few times; on one of their most inebriated nights when Jo had been getting emotional over he and Abe's relationship and going on about how nice Abe was, Henry had made a comment about how he had his moments and had been a trying child at times. They'd both been so drunk that Henry wasn't even sure that Jo remembered it and even if she did it would have just came across as a drunk man's ramblings. He was normally so careful; even under the influence he showed more discretion. He was becoming too close to Jo and it was dangerous.

But though it was what was best for everyone involved in the long run, it didn't feel that way. It felt painful and uncomfortable and turned the job that he once enjoyed into a chore that he just managed to get through. Abe, of course, thought he was being 'overly cautious and brooding' about the matter; he thought Jo was someone that Henry could trust. But Abe hadn't been put into an asylum by someone that he trusted. Very few people could really be trusted and it was a good thing Abe didn't know that personally but it made for a difficult argument.

Having worked himself up to feeling thoroughly terrible over it all, Henry decided to leave early; he knew he wouldn't accomplish anything with the way he felt right now anyway.

…

Henry didn't feel better for having gone home; all he could manage to do was sit in his lab and stare at the wall, ignoring Abe's numerous pleas for Henry to 'just talk to her for god's sake; stop this madness'. It hurt; everything hurt. But it was just because he'd gotten used to having Jo around; once he got used to her not being around anymore, it wouldn't hurt like this and things could go back to being normal.

Henry had made up his mind to make a cup of tea and try to go to bed early when he heard Abe's footsteps pounding down the stairs, carrying the telephone.

"Henry…it's for you" Abe said, handing him the telephone. His face was cautious like approaching Henry was akin to approaching a dangerous animal.

"Who is it?" Henry asked, automatically suspicious because Abe seemed antsy and that could only mean that he knew Henry wouldn't like the answer.

Abe paused, putting his hand over the receiver. "It's Jo" he said. He looked like he was already bracing for the inevitable reaction.

"No…..absolutely not. I'm not talking to her" Henry said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. He just felt so tired; he wanted to go to sleep and wake up when hopefully this all wouldn't hurt so much.

"You need to talk to her" Abe said, thrusting the phone at Henry who still wouldn't take it.

The last thing that Henry wanted right now was an argument. "No, I'm not-" he started to retort but Abe cut him off.

"I think something's wrong…..she sounded upset" Abe said, looking slightly worried at the phone.

That was all that Henry needed to hear; the next moment he had snatched the phone from Abe, pressing it to his ear. "Jo? What's wrong?" he asked urgently.

There was a long pause and Henry could hear Jo take a deep breath. "I need your help, Henry. It's important" she said. She didn't exactly sound like she had been crying but she didn't sound composed either. Alarm bells rang through Henry's head and made all the caution of the past few weeks disappear from his head. Jo didn't ask for help; she just didn't. If she was now then she must really need help.

"What do you need? Are you hurt?" Henry asked, feeling his heart beating out of his chest.

"No, I'm not hurt" Jo was quick to say. "I don't really want to get into it on the telephone. Just please come to my place?"

Henry said it before he fully thought about it. "Of course. I'll be right there."

…..

Henry had made up his mind to fully be responsible and distance himself from Jo. Not only was his immortal presence in her life like an accident waiting to happen, he had left her when she needed him. He had left her alone; they were supposed to be partners and he had abandoned her. He tried to console himself with the fact that even he hadn't left her, he would have ultimately died and been ripped from her and thrown into the river but that didn't bring him comfort; he still felt like he had failed her. His friendship was toxic.

But all of his good intention and resolve to stay away vanished the moment she said she needed him. He'd left her when she truly needed him and yet here she was asking for his help still. He couldn't let her down again, especially when she might be in trouble. She said she wasn't hurt but that didn't stop Henry from imagining all manner of terrible scenarios on his way to her apartment.

By the time Henry was standing outside of Jo's door, his heart was flying, his mouth dry and every inch of his skin seeming to sweat profusely. He knocked quickly on the door, fearing the worst and wondering why he had been acting so terribly all of this time. It all seemed unimportant.

Jo didn't answer for a long moment when finally Henry heard her voice muffled behind the door. "Come in" she called.

Henry was bursting through the door the next moment later. "Jo? Sorry it took me so long I was-"

When Henry walked into the room and took in the sight around him, his words instantly froze in his throat. Jo wasn't hurt; she wasn't in danger or in trouble. And she wasn't alone; she had a very notable and unexpected visitor with her.

Iona…Henry's senses went haywire as they tried to comprehend what was happening and how he should feel about it. He was so confused that even his body could just manage a shiver as Iona turned away from Jo and gave him a smile. It was a sad smile, as if she knew something she shouldn't know. Jo, sitting beside her, wouldn't meet Henry's eyes and looked as if she wanted the couch to swallow her whole.

"What is this? I don't understand" Henry said. His throbbing worry that something was the matter with Jo fizzled into a low burning worry that there was something here he should understand that he didn't. What would reason could Jo and Iona have for being in the same room?

Jo looked down at her lap as if she was trying to figure out what to say; she glanced at Iona who gave her a slight nod before she turned toward Henry. This was all too familiar; this was planned. "Henry…I need to talk to you. I think we can both agree what we are doing isn't working. We can't go on like this anymore."

Henry felt like a fool; all of the walls he had been constructing immediately when back into place. "You deceived me; this was all a clever ruse to get me here" Henry said coldly.

Jo looked away in shame before meeting his eyes with determination. "I'm sorry….this isn't the way I wanted to do it but you made it necessary" she said, her voice slow and measured, careful. "You won't speak to me anymore…you barely eve look at me"

Jo looked so wounded; Henry ached to tell her that she hadn't done anything wrong. This was all his fault but he couldn't find the words. He looked away from Jo because it was too painful and focused on Iona. What was she doing here? Jo and Iona didn't seem to be the sort of women that would just sit around having a girly chat. So, that must mean she was here in a professional capacity. The large case sitting on the floor by her feet confirmed his suspicion. That could only mean that Jo sought her out for her unconventional services. A shiver of something ran through Henry that he couldn't identify. There was a time, when things were easier between them, that Henry would have loved to tease her about it. Now…he wasn't sure how he felt about the image of Jo being flogged at Iona's hands that wouldn't leave his head.

"Henry" Iona said, pulling him from his thoughts. He met her eyes and realized that Jo had been staring at him for possibly a very long time waiting for him to say something. "You know why I'm here?"

Honestly, Henry didn't but he wanted to feel on top of something here. Being on the other side of the formidable duo in front of him made him feel the need to know something. "Jo required your services, I'm sure" Henry said curtly. "I should leave you to it then"

Henry turned around to leave, feeling anger and disappointment in himself that he had allowed himself to be taken but Jo stopped him. He was at the door when he felt a hand on his arm; a familiar press of a hand that made him stop in his tracks. He didn't want to turn around, didn't want to stop and acknowledge the person behind him that would make him stay. He wanted to leave and hold onto his anger but he couldn't. When he turned around Jo's face was almost pleading with him. Iona stood a few feet behind her, almost as if ready to intervene. Would they really prevent him from leaving if he was set on it?

Henry found himself just staring at Jo, both frozen and unable to figure out what to say when there was so much to be said. It was Iona, facilitator that she was, that spoke first. "Henry…..this isn't easy for Jo" she said in that calming way that made everyone around her instantly listen to what she had to say. "She has a lot of things to say to you and I'm sure you have a lot of things to say to her. But you're stuck; you're holding onto it and you need to let it go." Iona moved closer to him so she was standing only inches from him, her eyes boring into his soul as if they could see all the way through his tortured past. "I already know someone hurt you; someone you trusted in the past. I'm sure that's why it so difficult for you to trust anyone else. But Jo wants to be close to you; she wants you to trust her and you're pushing her away. She's willing to become very vulnerable to fix this. Are you?"

No…..this couldn't be happening. Not here…..not now…Henry felt his resolve crumbling. No…..he couldn't become transparent and open; not with Jo and certainly not Iona. But he already felt like he was under her spell; control was such a hard thing to relinquish hold on and yet the soul desired it.

When Henry looked from Iona to Jo he felt what little resolve he had left crumble like dust. It was easy to push her away when it was him telling himself it was the best thing for the both of them. But the look on Jo's face told him that this wasn't the best thing for her. While it had been difficult for him, knowing the reasons for pushing her away, how much more difficult it must have been for her, knowing nothing about why he was doing this?

Henry didn't say anything but simply his presence still there and not running away must have been consent enough. He stood by the door as Iona took Jo's hand and pulled her into the middle of the room. His mind was melting into an overload as he watched Iona's professional façade come on; Jo's face shifted to almost a look of…submission? It wasn't something he had ever seen there before.

"On your knees" Iona told Jo as she picked up the case she brought and placed it on the table to open it. Jo sank to her knees on the floor, looking down at the ground as Iona pulled out a set of handcuffs and walked around to face Jo.

"Shirt…..off" Iona commanded in a firm, yet mild tone. Jo undid the buttons on her shirt with shaky fingers and Henry had all of five seconds to wonder if he should feel embarrassed before he saw that thankfully Jo had a tank top on under her shirt. One melt down at a time…

As Jo threw her shirt into a heap on the floor Iona walked around her, pulling her arms behind her back and closing them tightly with the handcuffs. Henry watched Jo tense, could hear her sharp intake of breath at the sudden entrapment and felt a curious spark set off inside him.

What was this? Henry wasn't sure what was going to happen here. Somehow, he supposed that he had given his consent to whatever this was but he had no idea where this was going. Curious, not knowing he wasn't sure if he liked it or he just liked the novelty of the adrenaline running through him.

Henry was beginning to wonder if he was imagining the whole odd scene in front of him like an out of place bystander when Iona turned away from Jo toward him. "Over here, Henry" she commanded him, pointing to the spot on the floor directly in front of Jo.

Henry felt all of the air pulled from his lungs as a tremor of irrational fear ran through him. Jo was looking up at him now but he couldn't clearly see her face; when he was kneeling in front of her it would be impossible not to look directly at her and see every emotion as it crossed her face. She would also be able to see every look of fear, of pain that crossed his face.

He could still end this; he wasn't being held against his will. He could still refuse this and make it all end. He was secretly terrified of where this might lead but what was the alternative? Go on the way he and Jo had been going for the last few weeks? It was obvious that if Jo was willing to go to these lengths then that was no longer an option. His legs were moving slowly toward the spot that Iona indicated, his legs feeling like lead as his blood hammered against his ear drums.

"Join Jo on the floor" Iona said, her voice calm, almost too calm for the worry that it sent through him. With a moment's hesitation he sank down to his knees, his mouth dry.

"Coat and shirt off, Henry" Iona said almost casually as she dug around in her case. What for, Henry didn't know and it made him apprehensive.

Henry was keenly aware of Jo's direct gaze fixed on him as slipped his coat off, vest and shirt. The cool air against his bare chest made his shivering worse. The idea of leaving fluttered through his head one last time before the handcuffs were being clasped behind his back with a certain finality to it.

On his knees, trapped, it was impossible not to look at Jo now fully and what Henry saw made his heart wrench inside his chest with guilt. The downcast eyes, the pained, slumped way she was sitting…she was uncomfortable. This was putting her way out of her comfort zone; none of this was for her. She didn't need Iona to unlock her pain because it was already burning at the surface, ready to explode. She was doing all of this for him. Up until this moment he had no idea she cared that much; he had obviously misjudged her.

Iona came to stand directly behind Jo; she had one hand behind her back and try as he might, Henry couldn't see what she was holding. "Jo…would you like to say something to Henry?" she asked in a calm voice, smiling warmly at her. Jo's eyes darted up and down toward Henry and away.

She had obviously taken too long. Iona gripped Jo's shoulder with her free hand, firmly enough that Jo flinched. "Let's try this again" Iona said, her tone firmer. "Jo…..tell Henry why we are doing this."

Jo's eyes met Henry's. "You're my partner" she said, her voice careful but full of emotion. "You are my friend and for some reason you won't talk to me. I couldn't make you listen to me and I knew you wouldn't but I knew you would if Iona was here. I knew you'd listen to her."

Henry felt his face flush, worrying about the implications. "That's…..that's not true" he said. He didn't know why it bothered him but it did.

Jo frowned slightly; she looked just like her normal self for a moment. "I don't mean it like that, Henry. I mean that you don't talk to me…at least not about the important things. You're afraid of trusting me…..though I don't know why because I thought I had been nothing but understanding"

"I….I do trust you" Henry tried to say but it wasn't convincing. Hurt flashed across Jo's eyes because she knew as well as he did that he was lying through his teeth.

"You don't" Jo said with firm conviction, her face suddenly an unreadable mask, even with the close proximity. Henry felt like he'd been punched in the stomach; nothing he could say could make it untrue.

"Tell him how that makes you feel, Jo. Tell him everything" Iona said in a firm voice behind Jo. Henry's eyes briefly flickered up to her, trying to study the situation while Jo appeared to fight with herself about what to say. It was obvious Iona already knew exactly how Jo felt; he knew they must have discussed all of this before he showed up but how much exactly wasn't clear. It was obvious though that she knew far more than Henry had thought in the beginning. He imagined Jo telling Iona all of the ways he had failed her and he suddenly felt even more exposed.

"You hurt me, Henry" Jo said, honestly, her eyes fixing on his no matter how much he tried to look away. "I want to be your partner and your friend but you're just pushing me away. We can't have any kind of relationship when you just shut me out like this."

Henry hadn't wanted to hurt Jo in any way; he knew he had but that had never been his intention. It sent guilt through him to think of it. Henry didn't understand why Jo was even in this position; the kneeling, the handcuffs. It was obvious that she wasn't going to need Iona to get her to talk. Just him…..he was the only defective one here. He was the one that had caused all of this mess.

Iona let go of her grip on Jo, giving her a satisfied, almost proud look before turning her attention to Henry. One look…..that's all it took for Henry to feel a tremble of nerves run from his belly and down to his toes. He had almost been in this position once before; he had come to Iona's for actual professional knowledge and in less than five minutes she had had him bound and discussing electrocution. In minuets she had been telling him he would be begging for it…and he hadn't denied it. He hadn't even put up the least bit of a fight; she had described his pain to a tee and something about that was freeing. He had only been able to guess what would have happened had they not been interrupted; now he supposed that he didn't have to guess. Now he could find out…..

Only this time it was different; Jo was here. He could feel her eyes like magnifying glasses on him, taking everything in. He had been willing to break down when it had been just he and Iona; he was actually welcoming the idea. But with Jo where, how could he let himself fully let go? He didn't want her to know how he really felt; it would surely change the way that she saw him.

Iona stood in front of Henry and he craned his neck to look up at her. Strange; being restrained in the stress position the last time had been completely different than this. Kneeling…..it was humbling and made him feel small but he was sure that was the point. Everything in these scenes had meaning; the kneeling, the handcuffs, the riding crop….. Henry had expected to see the electric prod that had been the object of their last 'therapy' discussion. But when he thought about it, it made sense; she said she didn't use it much. It was only for certain clients…..it didn't make marks. A crop would hurt, badly, and it would leave bruises; it was sure to make marks. It wasn't for Jo; it was for him.

"How well Jo has done, telling you how she feels" Iona said fondly, putting her hand on Jo's head gently, almost affectionately…like a pet. She didn't look so gently when she turned back to Henry. He immediately felt guilty.

"And then there's you, Henry" Iona said, tapping the end of the crop against his shoulder with a feather light touch that hinted of pain to come, making him shiver. "You push everyone around you away. I know that's because someone has hurt you in the past; but that's not okay and we have to get that pain out of you."

He should have expected it but he didn't; it was quick, Iona's movements so swift that Henry didn't see the hit coming until he felt the sting of the crop against his back, leaving burning behind. Henry gasped, unprepared for the hit, glancing at Jo immediately to see her reaction; she was frustratingly composed.

"You can make this easy on yourself, or you can make it difficult" Iona explained, hitting Henry again with a burning blow. "Either way, you will talk."

Another blow to the back and Henry's flesh was already on fire. He was not unaccustomed to being beat; he'd been abused past his fair share in his long life but that didn't necessarily make it easier to handle. "What do you want me to say?" Henry asked, his voice slightly shrill.

"I don't want you to say anything" Iona said, her voice taking on a more snappy tone, giving him a particularly hard smack, causing him to flinch against the bounds of his handcuffs. "It's Jo…this all about her. Look at her"

Henry couldn't look at Jo; he was afraid of what he might see. "I said look at her!" Iona commanded. She grabbed him by the chin, forcing his face up to look at Jo. "You've hurt her because she wants to get close to you and you are pushing her away. So…I don't want you to say anything. She, however, wants you to tell her why you did this."

Iona released his face in favor of giving him another smack, making a fresh wave of hot pain course though his back. He gritted his teeth, digging his wrists into his handcuffs. "I….I can't!" Henry said, clenching his eyes tightly shut. He had barely gotten the words out of his mouth before he was struck again.

"You can…and you will" Iona told him.

…..

Henry couldn't remember the last time he felt so much pain. He had died many terrible deaths but he wasn't sure the last time that he had been in this much pain and it hadn't ended in death. Right now, he almost felt like it could result in his demise. His back, his chest, his shoulders…..his entire bare torso was on fire; Henry had lost track of how many times she had hit him long ago. He couldn't tell if Iona was hitting him harder now or if his body just couldn't take it anymore but every hit now caused him to tremble. Sweat covered his body and his eyes watered and ran down his face; everything ached and he could barely hold himself up in his sitting position. Iona had been right; he had begged her to stop. He had told her he just couldn't say anything but no amount of pleading could get her to stop. He had begged her to stop but she had not yet gotten him to beg her not to stop. Every time he begged, she just made him look at Jo and reminded him why he was here. Reminded him how much he hurt her and how much be needed to let go.

It had been worse than he thought it would be, having Jo here. Jo, who was sitting only inches from him, watching everything with a pained expression. She heard every time he called out, saw the look of pain across his face with every hit, took every refusal of Henry's to talk to heart. There was something painfully humbling about being watched while some else beat you senseless, listening to your pain induced ramblings as you dribbled salvia and blood down your chin from so much lip biting. It was mortifying…..how he was ever going to look at Jo the same way he wasn't sure. Actually, he knew the answer; he wasn't going to look at her same way again and neither would she.

Iona hadn't touched Jo. Well, that want entirely true; she had given her the occasional head pat or ran her hand along her arm gently. Henry could only assume that Jo was merely in her position just so he could stare at him constantly.

"Please! Please stop!" Henry begged, crumpling forward, his face to his chest, his entire body shaking with fatigue and pain. "I'm sorry…..I am sorry, Jo. Really I am…I didn't mean to hurt you."

It was true; he had never meant for this to happen. He never wanted to hurt her but he just couldn't tell her why he had. He couldn't tell her that knowing him could only end badly; his immortality was dangerous.

Henry had thought an apology would appease Iona at least for a moment. She had momentarily stopped beating him, at least, but when he looked up at her he could tell by her tight lipped expression that she was not pleased.

"You refuse to relinquish control Henry" Iona said, "Even now, filled with pain, you still hold on. Your refusal to talk is because you still want to control the situation."

Henry watched as Iona walked from behind him to stand next to Jo. He expected Iona to reassure Jo in some fashion; to tell her how good she was or rub her shoulder. He was so unprepared for the slap to her back that he faltered, his mouth failing open as Jo's face clenched in pain.

"You wanted control…..here it is" Iona said in an entirely calm voice. "You not only are responsible for your own pain, but hers as well."

Henry watched in horror as Iona hit Jo again. She flinched, but like the true champ that she was, she didn't call out; not yet at least. His own pain was dashed from his mind as he watched the crop hit Jo, his eyes trained on how the pain increased on her face. Iona brought the crop down hard on Jo's back, making her lose her balance and nearly fall forward onto him. He could see her biting down on her lip, leaving the characteristic teeth marks; soon she would have the same bloody marks he did. As pain flashed across her face, Henry felt the residual physical side effects mix with his heartsickness, making him queasy.

Henry had to admit that he didn't see it coming; he honestly thought Jo was here just to be judge and jury while he spilled his secrets for her to hear. Even though Jo was bound just as he was, he hadn't expected Iona to actually hit her. He wasn't sure why that was; it was what she did for a living after all and he was sure she had plenty of female clients. Maybe it wasn't that he found it surprising, maybe it he was just outraged because it was Jo and this shouldn't be happening.

When the crop hit Jo again, she called out in a low voice, her air momentarily taken from her; the sound caused Henry to hurt as much as if he had been hit. "Stop! Stop this! She has done nothing!" Henry was calling out. He tried to reach out for Jo but the resistance of the cuffs against his bruised and aching wrists reminded him how powerless he was right now.

In spite of his protests, the crop struck Jo again, making her gasp. "You know how to make this stop, Henry" Iona explained "You're the one in control, remember? That's what you wanted"

Henry felt terrible; his body was riddled with injuries, making him shiver and shudder with shock but watching Jo get hit was so much worse. He didn't think it could get worse, but being told he was somehow responsible for it was worse. It was because he knew that Iona's words weren't empty; this was his fault. They only reason any of them was here right now was because of him.

He didn't want to be in control; being in control and self-reliant all of the time was exhausting. But he didn't have any choice; with his condition he had to be in control to stay safe. And the last thing he wanted to do was drag someone else down with him.

When Jo's head fell forward with the force of another hit, Henry felt desperation clawing at his throat. "Jo! Please…..tell her to stop this. We don't have to do this!" His words didn't seem to have any effect on stopping this but he was sure if Jo said to stop, this would all end. He wouldn't have to watch her suffer any more.

Jo took a long breath as she gathered the strength to raise her head. She was pale, beginning to sweat from the exertion of the pain. Her eyes were glassy but they were full of determination and his stomach sank because he knew that look well. "We do have to this" Jo told him with certainty, looking straight into his eyes. When the next hit came, she actually tried to smile at him through the pain.

Henry felt himself going mad from wanting this to stop but Jo was determined. She flinched every time she got hit, and her gaps turned into moans of pain but she still held on. This was so much worse….had she felt this way watching him being beat? Did she long for it all to stop, for him to just give in because it was so hard to watch him in pain? It was hard to tell because she had been so quiet and she hadn't looked desperate like he was sure he did right now.

Henry was painfully stubborn, watching Jo's pain like a silent torturer. And then he saw the tears…Henry hadn't wanted to know how many times she had been hit because he would have to acknowledge every hit was like it came from his own hand. He watched every flinch, every sign of pain on her face but when he saw the tears in her eyes finally spill over and run down his face he lost it. Jo wasn't a weak person; she was so strong. She could take care of herself even though he sometimes wanted nothing more than to protect her. But now she was crying, sobbing, and it was all because of him.

"Why can't…..you….just…..tell me?" Jo's voice was ragged and aching through the sobs. She looked directly at him when she said it, her red eyes drilling into his own. "I only wanted to be close to you…why don't you want that too?"

"How can you want that? How can you possibly want anything to do with me? Even now….."Henry asked, his voice coming out slightly shrill and frantic. "After what I did...how can you still want to be close to me? You should be angry at me"

Henry was holding on, barely; he was on the brink of losing himself. It was obvious though that Iona had succeeded in breaking down whatever small walls Jo had built up. It was alarming, and yet Henry was slightly envious, watching Jo lose all control. She slumped forward, sobbing uncontrollably and all Henry wanted to do was console her. She looked so broken, so pitiful, tears running freely down her face and she couldn't even wipe them away.

"I am angry at you!" Jo said, loud and breathy through her cries. "You left me…..I've always thought I could depend on you and when I really needed you, you left me. You hurt me…I was so scared and alone and now you avoid me like I did something wrong"

"You haven't done anything wrong…you haven't" Henry said with conviction. "It's me…..it's all me."

Jo look up at him; with her red face, bitten bloody lips and tears streaked cheeks he had never wanted to protect her more. "If I didn't do anything, then please tell me why you don't want me anymore?" she asked. She looked more vulnerable than he had ever seen her.

Despite the handcuffs and the aching in his legs from the kneeling for so long, Henry tried to move toward Jo. Even if he couldn't put his arms around her, he needed to feel some part of her. But as he tried to move he felt a hit to his back that made him fall forward.

He'd done well to grow almost accustomed to the sting of the crop against his back. But now, that his body had had time to fully realize how much it had been injured, another blow to his hot flesh was excruciating. He looked at Jo, who was still crying and it was still worse than his own pain. Henry looked up at Iona who looked displeased.

"I just want to comfort her…make it stop" Henry said, breathless.

"Then talk to her" Iona said. "You have to talk to her first."

It was obvious her intention; if he wanted to be free, if he wanted to touch her he had to talk to her.

"But I have…..I told her this wasn't her fault" Henry beseeched her. He was awarded with another terrible hit to the back that sent waves of pain throughout his body. A strangled cry, like an injured animal, broke out of his dry, aching throat.

"But you didn't tell her why you did this" Iona prodded. "You have to tell her why you this to her."

Iona struck him again and it was the last time that she struck him. He fell forward, heart skipping, and his nerves on fire. Everything hurt so badly; the pain radiated from his back outward so it seemed to touch every part of him. But worse was the sound of Jo's crying in his ears; lonely and heartbroken. There was the sound of other tears and with surprise he realized that it was him.

"I'm afraid…..I'm afraid of losing you, Jo" Henry admitted through shaking breaths. "We were becoming close and it made me scared because I was afraid once you saw who I really am you would leave me. Because…..everyone does….."

Henry felt like he should stop; he was weeping openly now and practically shouting out his words but he found that he couldn't stop the flood of words coming out of his mouth any more than he could staunch the flow of tears out of his eyes.

"Henry…"Jo's voice cracked but she had stopped sobbing, looking at him with sympathy. It only made his emotions break more.

"No…..it's true" Henry said with honest conviction. "Everyone leaves me, no one ever stays. I care about people and when they see what I really am, they leave me. I can't be honest with people anymore because I know they'll leave me. I couldn't let that happen with you…I wanted to be close to you but I didn't want you to despise me"

Henry became incoherent; now that he had finally let himself cry, he didn't know how he could stop. It was freeing; as if every sob let a weight of pain out of where he had locked it inside him. He couldn't tell Jo he was immortal; not now at least. But maybe one day…

Iona must have been satisfied because he felt the handcuffs behind him loosened, his weakened arms falling slack at his sides. Iona's arms wrapped around him to keep him from falling, helping into a sitting position. Her hands were so gentle and soft now; it was almost impossible to believe they belonged to the same person. Those same kind hands were rubbing his hair softly.

"It's alright now, Henry. It's a good start" Iona told him in a calm, consoling whisper. The simple words were enough to help him calm down considerably; enough to be able to breathe at least.

He had almost forgotten about this part of the emotional adventure; aftercare. He'd been hurt so many times and left to suffer alone that he hadn't remembered that this was supposed to be part of it now. Now that he did, realized how desperately he ached for touch and affection in the afterglow of the pain.

Iona's arms felt so good around him; he wanted to lean into her and feel safe and comforted. He felt so tired….drowsy. But almost as soon as she had reassured him, she left him. He was confused by the loss for a moment until he looked up and saw Iona undoing Jo's handcuffs. She put her arm around Jo like she had Henry, as if helping her pull out of a deep sleep. Iona whispered something to her that Henry couldn't hear and for that brief moment he felt almost cripplingly lonely. He needed connection in such deep measure that he had hardly ever felt the need this much.

He watched as Iona let go of Jo; a moment she was gone and Henry had hardly seen her leave. When Jo looked up at him with red, teary eyes, it was then it occurred to him. Of course…..Iona wasn't there to console them; they were supposed to console each other. Iona was giving them privacy and they just had to take it.

It took only moments for this to occur to them before they were moving towards each other. Physical touch wasn't completely foreign to them; they had hugged and held hands before. But it was not a common occurrence and Henry knew this time would be more than that, would mean more. Henry needed to hold her, needed her to hold him; needed to know they were both okay.

It was not an exaggeration to say that they threw themselves at each other; Henry didn't feel bad about it, couldn't feel bad about it. He needed her and she needed him too. And that was a good thing.

Jo's arms were tight against him, holding onto him as if he might vanish; even though it angered his wounds, Henry pressed himself closer to her. To feel her heat, hear her heartbeat…to feel she was alive and well and she was still here. By the time he realized he was crying again, Jo was already openly weeping.

"I'm not going to leave you, Henry" she whispered into his neck where her face was buried, her breath tickling his skin. "Just be honest with me and I won't leave you. I promise"

"Everyone does…..I'm so alone" Henry said. His voice was raw and full of emotion; there was no point in being strong now. He knew she couldn't know what he really had in his past, what he was hiding. But her resolve to make him talk, her refusal to let their friendship die told him that she might be just the kind of person to trust with his secret; just look what she had done for him tonight.

"You don't have to be alone…I'm right here" Jo whispered. Then, there were hands running through his hair and whispered assurances through the tears and this was genuinely what Henry needed. Strange, how he could need this so much and not have known it.

"I'm so sorry I left you…I'm a coward" Henry whispered into her hair, wishing he could bury himself in it.

"Shhh…its forgotten. As long as you don't leave me again….don't push me away." Jo said, clinging to him. She had never seemed needy or vulnerable to him but in this moment she did. That was alright; he was too.

"I'm not going anywhere" Henry said.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that; crying and assuring each other. Henry was spent, emotionally and physically. Now that he was reassured everything was alright, his body was taking notice of the damage it had endured. He was bruising; he felt pain with every touch of Jo's hand against his bare chest and back but that didn't stop him from wanting it. Though he was in a huge amount of pain, he was actually glad for it.

They began to detach themselves from the mass of limbs they had melded into. Henry could feel tears, blood, sweat and, embarrassingly, mucus, plastered to his miserable face as they pulled back and he felt slightly anxious. They had been so desperate; he wasn't sure what the next step in all of this was. Luckily, Iona seemed to sense their hesitation as they sat in the floor, happy about what had just happened but embarrassed too. She materialized out of the kitchen, a wide smile on her face; Henry had nearly forgotten she was still there.

"Henry, why don't you go to the restroom and get yourself cleaned up?" Iona supplied helpfully, "Then come join us back in here"

Henry looked at Jo, who gave him a small smile in encouragement. "Okay…sure" Henry said, standing on shaky feet. His vision swam for a moment and he was thankful he didn't fall back into the floor like a lightweight.

The bright light of the bathroom was disorienting and did something to sober him up. It was cold and harsh in here and he longed to return to the living room and Jo's embrace. He stood in front of the mirror and took note of the damage; he couldn't see most of his back but what he could see was already developing red, angry welts. They burned, they would burn for a long time but that was alright. It struck him then suddenly, what the state of Jo's skin looked like. She had taken several blows and he knew she was going to feel a lasting sting too. He should have asked her how she felt, shouldn't he have? Offered to get her ice or lotion or something? He wasn't sure what the etiquette for this was; maybe there wasn't any. After all, Jo hadn't done anything to doctor his wounds either so maybe he hadn't fouled anything up yet.

Henry washed his face quickly with a washcloth; he was drying it off with a towel gingerly when he noticed the clothes sitting on the sink. A folded fluffy robe and pajamas; men's pajamas. The implication was clear that he supposed to stay here tonight. Of all things, Henry felt himself blush and he was thankful no one was around to see it. It was absurd after all that had happened to be embarrassed about it. Henry found himself wanting to know if the idea had been Iona's or Jo's.

Henry briefly thought about showering but he was too tired and in too much pain for that. Slipping out of his clothes, he pulled on the soft pajama bottoms. His skin was much too hot and sore for the shirt so he simply pulled the robe on his upper half. Checking his face for residual bodily fluids one last time, he slipped out of the bathroom, feeling much better but anxious to see where this was going next.

It felt a bit surreal; he'd only been to Jo's place a few times and none of them had been for an extended stay. So when he walked back into the living room and saw Jo sitting on the couch, clad in a robe like his, her eyes closed and relaxed as Iona rubbed something that looked like lotion on her back, he faltered in the doorway. It appeared she hadn't been able to stand the idea of shirt right now either; she had her robe held tightly in front of her.

He was frozen there, watching them, not sure if he was supposed to interrupt, for far too long. Iona looked up from the sensual task at hand and gave him a slight laugh. "Well, come on in" she said, motioning him forward. She stood up from her place on the couch and crossed the room to where he was standing.

"You did well" Iona said with a smile that made him feel warm. "I think I can leave you two in each other's capable hands"

Henry returned her smile and it was only once she had gone that it occurred to him that he was supposed to take Iona's spot. He looked over at Jo who was sitting on the couch, watching him expectantly. His heart quickened in pace and he had to remind himself that being embarrassed at this point was ridiculous. That didn't stop him from trying to over think things.

He was afraid to see it; apart for the momentary lapse there was nothing sexual entering his mind at the moment. He was afraid to see Jo because if had to see the marks on her skin he would have to acknowledge that he was responsible.

"Henry…snap out of it"

Henry's head jerked, looking at Jo who was smiling gently at him. "What?" he asked.

"You're doing that thing where you stand there all lost in thought and its making you look more panicked by the moment." Jo said. "Just come over here and sit with me." She readjusted her robe so that it sat on her shoulders. She was trying to make it easy for him; perhaps she sensed the intimacy of the moment was too much for him.

It was enough to make him realize that he really did want to do this for her. She was in pain, no doubt about it; she had to be aching as much as he was at the moment.

Henry took the spot behind Jo that Iona had vacated. With a sharp intake of breath, he pulled the robe over her shoulders, slowly to allow for her to adjust the front of it; he was still a gentleman, after all and as he had already acknowledged, one mystery at a time was enough.

His imagination didn't deceive him; her flesh was a battered mess. Thick red, swollen welts covered her back; rather than making him feel guilt like he thought he would, he felt emotion that made his throat swell. She did this for him; he should feel ashamed but all it did was make him care for her more.

Henry grabbed the cooling lotion and began to spread it over her burning skin. She shivered and gave a deep sigh, falling back into his touch. "Thank you…..for doing all of this" Henry said. His voice echoed in the quiet of the room but he knew it needed to be said. What else could you say to your friend that was so desperate to keep you around that she hired a dominatrix to get you to talk?

Jo was relaxed; she took a long time to speak. "You're welcome…I had to do it, Henry" she said, her voice quiet and thoughtful. "I know there's more to you. I don't know what it is yet and that's okay. And I'm really sorry that you've been so hurt by other people. No one should have to be afraid to get close to anyone"

Henry felt his throat burn and the want for tears coming again but he had cried enough. "It's not your fault" he said, "I've experienced pain in my life, but hasn't everyone?"

"Not like you have" Jo said. "I think you've had more than your fair share"

Henry didn't know how she did it; how she had always done it. Jo had a way of knowing more than she should, of seeing into his true nature. "Perhaps" Henry said emotionally. "But that doesn't mean you should have to pay for it."

"I'm not…I'm just trying to give you a reason to trust again" Jo said honestly. "Switch me places"

Henry did, without even trying to argue about it. Because he was in pain…..because he was needy…..because he trusted her. Though he couldn't trust her with everything all at once, he knew that slowly he might be able to trust her with his difficult secrets.

Henry pulled his robe off of his shoulders and let it fall down, exposing his own no doubt hideous wounds. He heard Jo inhale sharply, followed by a "Dear God…. Henry" muffled behind her hand.

Did it look worse than her own? He didn't really know. But there was something different about seeing whip marks on someone else rather than yourself. Especially if you had a certain self-loathing quality which he was sure he and Jo shared. He could feel her fingers trace along the welts as she began to smooth the lotion on his skin. He didn't even try to smoother the delighted sigh that came from him as the cooling substance made its way into his skin. "I'm stubborn…..what can I say?" Henry said in mock humor at Jo's outrage.

"Next time, be less stubborn" Jo said, her voice cracking slightly. She probably meant it as a chide or a rebuttal but what she got instead was a smiling Henry looking back at her.

"Next time?" Henry asked with a raised eyebrow.

Jo rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up"

….

Henry did spend the night but it was innocent; even more innocent than he had imagined it would be. By the time that Jo had gotten done putting lotion on his wounds, Henry was nodding off and Jo seemed just as happy to go to sleep. She had offered him the bed, which of course he refused. He slept on the couch and he assumed Jo slept in her bed; he had been asleep within a minute of lying down so he wouldn't know.

Henry had had the best night's sleep that he could remember in a long, long while. No nightmares, not even any dreams. He slept without waking; when he finally did come to, his eyes found the sunlight of the morning coming in the window. He rubbed his eyes, taking in the sight of Jo's home around him, reminding him that last night's activities were not a dream, but real.

His body was also quick to remind him as well. His muscles ached, his back was on fire; but it made him feel oddly alive. He was well rested and light; he felt good. Sitting up, he wondered if Jo was awake and the slightest twinge of fear came to him, wondering how she might feel in the light of the morning. He could hear sound coming from the kitchen and knew he would find her there. His muscles ached even more as he stood up and walked to the kitchen but it was a good kind of pain; a sweet burning that reminded him of the good of the night.

When he entered the kitchen, he found Jo there making coffee, still in her robe, hair muscled by sleep. It was odd seeing her this way; so domestic. He felt like it should have suggested that more had happened. But when he really thought about it, what they had shared was much more intimate than sex. He felt his checks turn pink when he thought about the way he cried so freely, how much he had clung to Jo.

Jo seemed to notice his presence and turned around to face him. Her face was at ease, relaxed; she was smiling like he hadn't seen her do since before they had stopped speaking. He couldn't help but grin; she looked like just like her normal self. And even better, it felt even easier and more relaxed than it had before.

"Sleep good? I can't imagine the couch was very comfortable" Jo commented as she carried the coffee cups to the table where they sat opposite each other.

Henry laughed. "Actually, I slept wonderfully" he said truthfully, taking a sip of his coffee.

Jo smiled wider, almost radiating peace and energy. "Well, that makes two of us" she agreed.

They sat in companionable silence for a several minutes before Henry felt the need to say something that had pressed on his mind last night but that he hadn't said. "Thank you, for putting up with all that last night" he said, staring down into his coffee. "I probably would never have agreed to it had I know how you would be treated."

Henry was beginning to feel the stirring of guilty in his belly when he felt a hand reach across the table, making him look up at Jo. "I didn't put up with anything" she said with a smile. "I knew exactly what my part of it was going to be"

Henry paused. "You mean you knew….." He didn't finish but he didn't have to. She knew exactly what she was saying.

"Of course" Jo said, giving his hand a squeeze. "You didn't think she'd have just started hitting me without discussing it first? No….all of it was discussed beforehand; and I was completely okay with it."

He felt overwhelmed; he didn't deserve this…didn't deserve her. She had not only put up with the pain of everything but she had willing volunteered for it. As somehow who said she didn't understand or believe in Iona's tactics, she had felt desperate enough that she had sought her out and done what she suggested…all to get Henry to talk to her. He was sure that how she felt about Iona's therapy was different now than before she had experienced it firsthand but he supposed that a lot of things were different now.

Jo must have sensed where his thoughts were going. "I couldn't have you just not talk to me, Henry" she continued, her voice taking on an emotional edge. "I just…that wasn't an option. I knew this was an option" Her voice was growing thick and he sensed she might be feeling the stirring of deep emotion like he was again. After a moment, as if composing herself she looked up at him with a smile on her face. "Besides, I already knew you'd seen her once, so I knew you must be into it"

Henry raised his eyebrows at her. "I told you that was for research!" he tried to argue in mock outrage. He knew though, the moment that he got caught bound in Iona's apartment only minutes after coming to ask her about erotic electrocution for a murder investigation that no one would believe he was merely there for information. And, he had to admit, he wasn't sure where it might have gone had they not been interrupted. After all, he had been reduced to powerless very quickly.

"Honestly, Henry" Jo said with a laugh, releasing his hand to return to her coffee. "I think you can stop trying to defend yourself against liking it. With me, at least"

With me at least…That's because they were friends, they were a team. They were more than they had been before all of this happened. Maybe they had been for a while and Henry hadn't been able to see it; he suspected that was so. But Jo's determination not to let him go made him realize what she had known for a long time; there was something different, something unbreakable about them. They were a team.

Henry smiled, trying to make light of the relationship altering revelation that had just come to him, lifting his cup to her in a mock salute. "I acquiesce, Detective Martinez. You know me too well"

 

 

The End...let me know what you think :) All reviews mean a great deal to me! I'm toying with writing more Iona/Jo/Henry fics so if you have any suggestions feel free to pass them along. I've considered writing this story from Jo's perspective, or maybe going in a completely different way. Thanks for reading :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Henry and Jo start to become more that just friends, Henry starts to push away. Jo convinces him to go to Iona and they both find out they have emotional scars from their past relationships that they need to deal with to grow closer to each other.

It had been a horrible day; one of the worst Jo could remember having on the force. Considering how grim it could be to work for the police, she had had her share of bad days but she still stood by saying this was one of the worst. They had been tracking a kidnapper for a week now; long hours and anxiety on finding the man who had kidnapped two young girls had put everyone on edge and emotions were running high as they finally encountered him in an abandoned building. They had been too late; Jo would not long forget the state of the mangled, abused bodies they had found. Nor would she soon forget the pain and betrayal of the parents as they had been told that their girls were dead. "This is all your fault! Why couldn't you get there in time!?" the parents' voices rang in Jo's head still. They were right, of course; if the police, if she, had only done more their girls might still be alive.

Jo was so ready to get out of there and to be anywhere but here that she practically ran to Henry's office. He would have gotten the terrible job of doing the autopsies of the girls and she knew he would want to get out of here as well. Death didn't seem to throw Henry; sometimes it seemed he even welcomed it with his complete lack of self-preservation skills. A corpse was nothing to be squeamish about; that was just his job. But children…..that was a whole different story. Something this gruesome got to everyone.

When Jo walked into the morgue she saw the small bodies (thankfully) covered up, Lucas standing beside them, writing notes. His face was somber and though he looked up at Jo, he didn't greet her with his usual cheeriness. Jo spotted Henry in his office and made a quick beeline for it. When she opened the door, Henry was sitting at his desk, his head propped against his hands. His face was pale and drawn; he looked as stressed as she felt. He looked up from the papers on his desk when Jo walked up closer to his desk. "Hello, Detective" he said without the usual smile he had when he addressed her by the formal title.

"Want to get out of here?" Jo asked, knowing that the horrible day they had just experienced didn't need any more comment.

Henry gave her the smallest of grim smiles. "That sounds fantastic." He agreed.

….

Jo and Henry's relationship had taken all turns for the better in the past few months. After Henry had left her, shot, at a crime scene and then proceeded to push her away physically and emotionally, she had been so desperate to get him back she had went to drastic measures. There was once a time that she had thought Iona's unique skill set was not really therapy but glorified prostitution; at the time she had been desperate enough that she had given it a chance. She knew that Henry not only like Iona but saw the worth in her brand of therapy. She wanted him back so badly that it was with desperation in her voice that she had consulted with Iona. And, by some miracle, it had worked. Iona had actually gotten him to open up. He had finally admitted he was pushing her away because he was afraid of getting close to her. People had hurt him in the past and that was why he felt he needed to push her away.

It had been more intense than Jo had expected. She knew what was coming, technically, but experiencing how her emotional walls were stripped from her as she felt physical pain was overwhelming. Afterwards, she couldn't deny any longer that what Iona did worked. She didn't know why it did, but it had been effective. She had felt a weight off of her shoulders and Henry, now consoled that Jo wasn't going to abandon him, had opened himself up to her more. Their friendship had grown more than she had thought possible. They spent nearly every night in each other's company, sometimes going out for a movie or drink and sometimes staying in for a quiet night in. If Jo was really honest with herself she could admit that she felt the stirrings of something more between them. The warm nudging inside when they hugged longer than necessary, the brush of their hands together as she sat next to him at the piano, the way she felt an unnecessary loneliness on the days that they didn't see each other…..she knew where this was going. She couldn't say Henry was feeling the same thing; she hoped he was. But she had just gotten her friend back and she knew not to push a relationship between them.

Tonight they opted for a night in. Neither felt like going out or cooking so they just ordered take out. Jo knew that Henry must really be feeling down because he didn't even comment on her the way she was eating (once she started, she found she was actually starving) or the lack of nutritional content in the meal. They didn't want to talk about work; it was an unspoken agreement between them. So, they ended up not talking much at all.

It was a beautiful spring evening, despite the circumstances of the day, and they ended up lying on the roof, staring up at the vast expanse of bright, twinkling stars, a bottle of wine between them. They had started off drinking out of cups like civilized beings but now they just passed the bottle between the two of them. Jo would have thought of something amusing to say about how Henry was losing his prim sensibilities but she was finding she was growing slow and warm in her mind. She was drunk; growing very so. She welcomed it; damn the hangover that was sure to come tomorrow. The day was but a distant memory; all that existed now was that she was warm and floaty feeling and she had Henry by her side.

"It's so big and beautiful up there" Jo commented on the blanket of stars above them. "Makes you feel so small doesn't it?" She could barely acknowledge how slurred her words sounded.

"Twas noontide of summer,

And mid-time of night;

And stars, in their orbits,

Shone pale, thro' the light

Of the brighter, cold moon,

'Mid planets her slaves,

Herself in the Heavens,

Her beam on the waves.

I gazed awhile

On her cold smile;

Too cold- too cold for me-

There pass'd, as a shroud,

A fleecy cloud,

And I turned away to thee,

Proud Evening Star,

In thy glory afar,

And dearer thy beam shall be;

For joy to my heart

Is the proud part

Thou bearest in Heaven at night,

And more I admire

Thy distant fire,

Than that colder, lowly light."

Jo paused for a moment, before she turned on her side so that she could look fully at Henry. He was gazing up at the stars, a smile on his face as if he didn't just spout off some musical sounding poem and completely drunk at that. "What?" Jo asked in disbelief.

Henry turned on his side to face her, beaming at her. "Evening Star by Edgar Allan Poe" he said off handed, as if it was common knowledge.

Jo had to laugh; it was completely ridiculous. Henry could make nearly everyone around him feel infinitely stupider just by saying a few sentences but now he was quoting entire poems from memory? And very drunk at that? She couldn't even not slur her words right now. "So, you just have obscure, old poems memorized by heart for such an occasion?" Jo asked.

"Edgar Allan Poe is hardly obscure and that poem is not that old" Henry said in mock annoyance as if it was a personal insult.

Jo raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? So, how old is it?" she asked.

"188 years old; it was originally published in 1827" Henry spouted off.

Jo laughed; not only could he quote entire poems from memory, he could do sums without batting an eye. "And that's not old?" she asked in disbelief.

Henry shrugged. "Relativity, I suppose" he admitted.

Jo gazed at Henry, feeling that stirring inside her but she tried to ignore it. "You are impossible, Henry Morgan. You know that?" she asked.

Henry beamed in delight. "I've always known that." He said slyly. If Jo didn't know better she would have thought he was flirting with her.

"So, do you happen know any other poems by heart?" Jo asked curiously.

Henry grinned. "Ah…..you like poetry, do you? I wouldn't have pegged you for it" he said.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Jo asked. She knew what he meant though. She wasn't exactly a poetry coinsure. Actually she didn't normally care for it that much. But the musical way the old words danced off his tongue was not something she was going to admit, even in her inebriated state.

"Nothing, Detective" Henry said with a glint in his eye and a smile on his face. "I was just surprised. What about some Alfred Lord Tennyson?

"Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,

Tears from the depth of some divine despair

Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,

In looking on the happy Autumn-fields,

And thinking of the days that are no more.

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,

That brings our friends up from the underworld,

Sad as the last which reddens over one

That sinks with all we love below the verge;

So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns

The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds

To dying ears, when unto dying eyes

The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;

So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

Dear as remembered kisses after death,

And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned

On lips that are for others; deep as love,

Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;

O Death in Life, the days that are no more"

Jo hung onto every word, looking deep into Henry's eyes as he spoke the words with an expert memory. He spoke the words not just as someone that had memorized them, but as someone that had read them so many times because they reverberated with one's soul. They were so sad and yet Henry was so sad sometimes. She felt unbidden emotion rising in her chest; the ache of pain, her own and Henry's. The need to connect with someone; maybe the alcohol was getting to her.

"That was fantastic" Jo said honestly. "but so sad"

Henry looked moved himself. Moving a warm hand into her own, he smiled. "Maybe a happier one next?" he asked.

Jo gripped Henry's hand tightly. It was large and strong but at the same time soft; hands that could be gentle. Jo shook her head to get it back on track. "Sounds good" she agreed.

Henry put his free hand under his head, looking at Jo more closely; the action served to bring him indecently close to Jo and she felt her heart rapidly increase.

"She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impaired the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

Or softly lightens o'er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express,

How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent"

It shouldn't have happened; Jo could see that in retrospect. She could blame it on the alcohol, she could blame it on the deep, English voice reciting romantic poetry. She could blame it on a terrible day and a perfect night but the truth was she just wanted it.

Without the hesitation that her unimpaired self would have had, Jo leaned the small distance between herself and Henry, her lips touching his. The moment they touched she feared that she had done something wrong because she could feel Henry tense beneath her. Afraid she had made a mistake, she went to pull back quickly. But in the next moment there was a hand on the back of her head and lips moving along her own making it impossible to do so.

She had not been mistaken in thinking that Henry shared her growing feelings; she could see that clearly now. The man who seemed so proper and composed that at times he seemed like a robot was full so full of passion that she struggled to keep up. Her head swirled with drink and growing amounts of hormones, her body heating and coming alive. Though her mind had just been feeling slow and uncoordinated, it now came awake. Her heart hammered in her chest as something long dead inside of her came alive again. Henry's lips on her own, his hands in her hair, her own hands gripping that infuriatingly attractive vest he always insisted on wearing; she was holding on as everything inside her was crashing and breaking apart.

They were a huddled heap on the ground; of tousled hair and mussed clothing, of sweat and heat. Jo was glad that she had never given herself over to imagining what it might have been like to kiss Henry; it would have been a terribly poor guess. This was nothing like she would have imagined and even if she could have it would have done nothing but make her long.

It was frenzied and hot and electric; and it was over almost as soon as it had started. Without warning, Henry pulled back so forcefully Jo thought she might have hurt him. The look of fear in his eyes when he pulled back and looked at her was enough to send a tremor of fear through Jo.

"I…I'm sorry" Henry stuttered, most unlike him. Endless amounts of wine and he'd still been articulate with his poetry. After the kiss he was now finding words difficult.

Jo felt worry hit her hard because she knew exactly where this was going; exactly the one place she didn't want it to go. "Don't apologize…..its fine. It's…great actually" Jo said, gathering her breath from the hurried lack of oxygen.

But Henry wasn't alright and Jo knew it. He got off of the ground where they had been lying, his gait slightly tipsy. Jo was on her feet the next moment though she was much less steady on her feet. Henry turned away from Jo, but not before she saw a look of pain on his face. "I shouldn't have done that. You need to go, I think" Henry said, his voice full of sorrow.

Jo felt her warm buzz quickly dissipating and she felt cold loneliness coming in its place. "But Henry….."she started. She reached tentatively out for his arm but the moment she touched him, he turned around so that she wasn't touching him.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry. Please go" Henry said, looking tight lipped and pained. But he also looked determined and she knew a determined Henry was not a Henry that would change his mind.

Jo felt frustration rush up and make her eyes mist but she absolutely refused to cry. She knew this wasn't just her doing; Henry had kissed her just as much as she had kissed him. But she felt like she had made a major mistake; just the kind of mistake that she swore she wouldn't make. And now they were going to go backward; the progress Henry had made in opening up to her was likely to be ruined now.

"Is it because of Abigail?" Jo asked. She didn't know what possessed her to ask such a thing. She didn't know anything about Abigail other than she was someone that Henry had cared for deeply; probably still care for. She had no evidence but she suspected that she was the reason that Henry had trust issues.

At any rate, it was obviously the wrong thing to say; Jo could see anger and hurt and sadness cross his face when she spoke that taboo name. "Go" he said. The one word was so full of emotion it made her feel something die on the inside.

She had made a terrible mistake.

….

Jo wanted to believe that alcohol was fully responsible for her ending up on Iona's doorstep a short time later. But she knew it wasn't fully the reason she was there. She felt angry and sad and hurt and just so full …..she needed something to get it all out. And she knew only one way to make that happen.

Iona answered the door, a robe thrown over some silk bed clothes. Her makeup and hair was flawless; surely she hadn't actually been asleep? Jo felt irrational anger flood through her at the thought. Some women had it all…..

"Jo? Uh…..hello" Iona said, momentarily confused by her presence. Once glance at Jo's watch told her the reason why. It was probably horrible manners, her being here, especially without an appointment but Jo couldn't care. She needed to stop feeling emotions and she needed to feel something physically other than her slowly fading buzz.

"Hi" Jo said, "Can I come in?"

Not really waiting for a response, Jo walked in through the open door. She walked across the room and threw herself on the couch; it was only when she turned around and saw Iona watching her tiredly but curious did she felt a pang of regret. What the hell was she doing here?

"Jo, what's wrong? Where's Henry?" Iona asked. She pulled the robe around her tighter and came to sit on the couch next to Jo. She looked genuinely concerned; it made Jo feel guiltier. She was sobering up quickly and she felt guilty for being here. Iona really just should have thrown her out but here she was looking worried about her.

"He's not here. I….made a mistake. I…pushed him and he told me to leave" Jo said. She felt the worry and regret of her decision rush at her and come to overwhelm her.

Iona took Jo's hand and gave her a sympathetic look. "Want to tell me about it?" she asked gently.

Jo looked down at their entwined hands. Iona's hand was small and cool, a complete opposite from the way Henry's had felt and yet it somehow grounded her in the same way. The simple action, combined with her calming voice made Jo feel a lump gathering in her throat. That's why she was here, wasn't it? She had no one else to talk to; she'd ended up here because aside from Henry she was alone. The tears gathered in her eyes as she gathered her voice to speak. What a lightweight she was….

"Can I just have a session? I know Henry's not here but what about one for just me. I don't need to talk I just need…." Jo rushed out. She had to get it out quickly, needed to convince Iona to get her in chains before she lost it.

Only it didn't work that way. "We can't have a session until we talk" Iona said calmly. "And really, I suspect that that's what you need anyway. So…..tell me Jo. What happened with Henry?"

That wasn't part of the deal; it wasn't why she had come here. She had come here to feel something other than the swirling torrent inside of her and she could feel it coming over her.

"Maybe I should just go. I'm not sure why I'm even here" Jo tried to brush it off and get off of the couch but she wasn't quick enough. Kind hands pushed her down so that her head was in Iona's lap, fingers brushing her hair softly and somehow she let her.

"You're here because you needed someone to talk to and you chose me. And I really want to hear what you need to tell me. It's okay, Jo. You can cry; I know you need that" Iona prodded gently.

Jo didn't know how she did it; she didn't even have to touch her this time. Her words were calm and quiet, almost a whisper but they were dominating. The best thing about Iona's domination was that she knew instinctively what she needed. Jo didn't have to say anything at all and Iona knew what she needed. Even better, she gave her the permission to give in. Jo was strong; she didn't cry easily but with Iona's permission the tears gave way like a damn bursting from her eyes.

Through her sobs she told Iona about it all; how well they had been doing, the terrible day they had had and how it led to the event on the roof, how she had mentioned Abigail even though she knew it was a mistake, how Henry had told her to leave. It felt a little strange because she was sure that Iona had had (or maybe still did) have some feelings for Henry but it wasn't because Iona made her feel strange. She was nothing but understanding.

When she had nothing left to give, words or tears, she turned back so that she was lying on her back, looking up at Iona who gave her tissue. "Maybe he just needs time" Iona suggested as Jo dabbed at her wet eyes. "He obviously has trust issues; he told you that in our last session. That's not to say that he doesn't have feelings for you but maybe he's afraid of the feelings he has. The best thing to do is give him some space and then try to talk to him."

Jo felt better; she closed her eyes and focused on the hand running through her hair and the words that made her feel calm and as if everything would be okay. "And if that doesn't work?" Jo asked.

When Jo opened her eyes, Iona was smiling at her. "My door is always open for another couple's session"

….

Jo had hoped that Iona was right; that Henry just needed time and space to come back to her and that therapy with Iona wouldn't be necessary. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy the previous session with Iona; quite the contrary. She had probably been the biggest skeptic when it came to what Iona did but having experienced it firsthand she could not only see that it worked for Henry but that she got benefit from it as well. She was used to being so strong and composed on the outside that even when she was alone it was hard to give in and really let herself feel things. The fallout from the session with Iona had made Jo feel the most relaxed and at peace that she had felt in a long time. And she couldn't deny that it had been nice to be so close to Henry. She wasn't sure that she had ever been quite that emotionally open with or close to someone; it was a very intimate experience but not at all in the way that she had imagined it would be. She did want to have more sessions with Iona but at the same time she didn't want to have to rely on them completely for getting Henry to open up.

But unfortunately it seemed that Henry had completely backslid to where he had been before they had met with Iona and he had first opened up to Jo. While he didn't exactly ignore her at work, the only kind of conversation they had was work related. Any time that Jo ventured to talk about anything close to being personal, Henry would suddenly change the subject or find something that he needed to do that involved them being in the room with someone else. Jo knew him well enough to know that he was avoiding talking about it on purpose. She almost wished that Henry would just write off the kiss as something that happened because they were drunk; while she didn't believe that was why either one of them had done it, it would be less painful than his completely ignoring it.

The last time Jo had convinced Henry to see Iona she hadn't really don't it properly; it had been downright deceptive if she was honest with herself. She had lied to get Henry to her place where she ambushed him with Iona. That wasn't how she wanted to do it now and she knew it wouldn't work twice anyway.

After a few days of silence and lonely nights alone at her apartment, Jo found herself knocking on the door of Abe's Antiques. Abe came to the door, unlocking it with a smile as he moved back to admit Jo.

"Hey, Jo" Abe said warmly. "Henry's not here if you're looking for him"

Jo hesitated, disappointed that Henry wasn't there; how desperate would it seem to stay here until Henry got back? "I was looking for him, actually. Mind if I stick around until he gets back?" Jo asked as nonchalantly as could.

"Sure" Abe said easily. "Make yourself at home"

Jo thought she had almost made it in the clear as she saw Abe walk back toward the stairs until he turned around, a curious look on his face. "Is everything alright? I haven't seen you around in a while" Abe said.

Jo had been spending so much time around Henry's place lately that she and Abe saw each other nearly on a daily basis now. Considering it had been five long days since the incident on the roof and they hadn't seen each other out of work, she wasn't surprised that Abe had taken notice. Had Henry been as despondent about spending his nights alone as she had? Had Abe been able to take notice of a change in him? "Yeah, everything's fine" Jo said. It was like a reflex, saying she was fine even if she wasn't. She knew Abe well enough to know that he wouldn't push her to say more even though it was obvious that he didn't exactly believe her.

"Oh" Abe said with an exaggerated nod. "Well, I just wondered. I guess Henry is being his pouty self over something else then. Thought maybe you two had had a fight or something"

Abe didn't have any children but he had the cunning notice of a parent, seeing everything somehow even when you didn't want him to. Jo felt equal measures of satisfaction and guilt at the idea that Henry was sulking around the house enough for Abe to notice. Jo didn't want to share with Abe what had happened between them; Henry wouldn't even talk about it yet. But she thought that Abe just might be the person to give her some insight that she couldn't get anywhere else.

"Abe…..you and Henry seem to really close" Jo said carefully. "Were you always that way?" Henry and Abe seemed much closer than their story really explained. All she knew was what they had told her; that Henry's father and Abe had had a business arraignment working with antiques. Jo still didn't think that explained why they were so close but she tried not to pry. But wanting to be closer to Henry she thought it might be best to consult the person that seemed to know him best.

Abe shifted, looking a bit uncomfortable, as if he didn't know what to say. "Well, no I don't suppose so" he said finally. "Henry doesn't open himself up to many. Very few people actually; I'm one of the lucky ones. I think you are too" Abe gave her a knowing look; he approved of the growing relationship they were developing.

"I don't exactly think Henry has opened up to me. He doesn't really let me in" Jo said, with a hint of bitterness on her tone. She didn't want to sound that way but she couldn't help it. It was frustrating wanting to be closer to someone that kept pushing you away the moment they started having real feelings.

When Jo looked up from her firm stare down at the floor and met Abe's eyes she could see the sadness there. "Henry has had a very hard life" Abe said honestly. "If he seems distant and reluctant to open up then it's only because he has real reasons to fear being open with people"

Jo thought about Henry and all of his silent pain. It wasn't easy to see in the beginning; in the beginning she just thought he was eccentric and odd. But now that she knew him better she could tell there was a difference between his old fashioned mystery and the pain in his eyes. Someone had hurt him terribly. She could see that from the session with Iona; Abe confirmed it. She could tell by the look of grief on his face, he knew exactly what Henry had been through. Maybe it wasn't so impossible to believe that she might too one day.

"Henry is a very difficult person to care about sometimes" Abe said, a note of pain in his voice but it was also full of affection. "He doesn't make it easy and he needs more care than he realizes. But when he does let you in, he'll care about you more than anyone else ever could"

There was so much love and fondness in Abe's words that it made Jo's heart stir with affection for Henry. He was difficult; he could be so stubborn and infuriating. But she did love him, as a friend and maybe even something more. And Abe loved him; she knew what he was saying was the truth.

"And if you tell him I said anything so sappy I'll have to kill you" Abe said with humor, clearing his throat of his own emotion to maintain face.

Jo grinned back at him. "I wouldn't dream of saying anything" she said good naturedly.

Abe was about to retreat back up the stairs again when the door of the shop swung open and Henry came bouncing into the shop. The moment that he saw Jo, he froze on the spot and seemed to look around as if for some refuge on how to get away from her. She was glad when she saw Abe go up the stairs before Henry had a chance to use him to not talk.

Jo could see the inner turmoil in Henry's eyes from across the room; it only grew as she walked closer to him. This time there was nothing to distract them from having the conversation they needed to; no dead bodies, no Lucas, no emergency calls. Just them; and Henry was terrified.

"Henry, we need to talk. You know that" Jo said. She knew the words would only increase the look of fear on Henry's face but they did need to talk. If she gave him the opportunity to wiggle his way out of talking then that would be it; she would have lost him.

Henry put his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight on the balls of his feet as if he might suddenly bolt out into the street. "I apologize. What happened the other night…..was a mistake. It was wrong of me to mislead you" Henry said.

His words sounded mechanical and rehearsed, as if he had planned on saying this if he was cornered. That didn't stop them from hurting; the implication that Henry thought kissing her was a mistake hurt. But she knew deep down that wasn't the problem here. "So, what? We should just go back to things the way they were? I'll be the detective and you'll be the guy at the morgue? We just see each other in passing?" Jo asked, her words clipped and short. It was easier to sound angry than sound hurt.

Panic crossed over Henry's face. "No….that's not what I want at all. I want us to be friends" he said.

"Really, Henry?" Jo asked skeptically. "Because you've not seemed at all like my friend this week. You've acted like someone I barely know. You have to choose; you can't be both. Either you let me in or I can't be around you. I told you, I wouldn't leave you; for me not to do that you can't push me away"

Henry looked down at the floor, not wanting to meet her eyes. She could see at least now that she had gotten to him a bit. "We shouldn't have kissed. That was a mistake" He said, his voice distant but even with his eyes downcast she didn't believe him. The words hurt less this time at least.

"Why? Because it made you feel something?" Jo asked. Henry's head jerked up in surprise and he looked at her with curiosity. He opened his mouth as if to speak but couldn't find the words.

"If I really thought you thought kissing me was a mistake, I'd leave you alone" Jo said honestly. "I'm not going to force myself on someone that's not interested. But what bothers me isn't that you didn't enjoy it. You did and for some reason you think you don't deserve for people to care about you"

"That...that's not true" Henry stuttered but the argument was weak even to his own ears.

"It is" Jo argued. "I don't know what happened to you to make you think that." Jo ventured a risk in reaching out and putting her hand on Henry's arm. She was glad when he didn't move away. She let her eyes meet Henry's. "Let's go see Iona"

Henry's mouth opened just a little too wide to argue. "I…..I don't need to see her" he said. The flush on his cheeks and the dilation of his pupils said something entirely different.

"Well, then come with me because I do" Jo said. When she put her hand in Henry's and pulled him toward the door, he gave no resistance.

…

Henry was a submissive; there was no doubt about it in Jo's mind now. You wouldn't have known it just by looking at him; Jo certainly hadn't suspected it until she had walked into Iona's office to find Henry handcuffed there. Seeing him first hand when they had been beaten together confirmed it. Henry might walk around like a smarty pants know it all, confident of his abilities and knowledge but deep down he was ached for submission. It wasn't something that he would ask for but it was something that he would accept with very little provocation. That was obvious in the way he let himself be led to Iona's door and the way his hand shook slightly in Jo's.

They were silent on the way to Iona's and Jo knew Henry was as nervous as she was. She could see the sweat on his brow and feel his nervous twitching. She knew that if he looked at her he would see all of this and more in her no doubt. Jo didn't know why she felt nervous but she did. She hadn't wanted to enjoy Iona's brand of therapy but she couldn't deny that she did. She couldn't deny that her heart was racing, her palms sweating and her nerves making her whole body seem to twitch with anticipation.

Jo knocked on the door when they reached Iona's; Henry looked frozen next to her. She would have thought that he was afraid if she didn't know him better. But, considering she knew how much he enjoyed the last session with Iona, she knew that he wasn't dreading this; he was anticipating it like she was. Jo almost had to smile when she thought about how much they deserved each other; they were both clearly very messed up.

"Jo, Henry…..good evening. Nice to see you two" Iona said when she answered the door a moment later. She was grinning and Jo could tell that she hadn't expected to see them both here. Jo had made the appointment and requests for the session the day before but she hadn't been sure if Henry would come with her. Jo would have still kept the appointment even if it had just been her though she was sure the session would have been very different had she been alone.

"Come in please" Iona said, gesturing them inside. Jo followed Iona, pulling Henry along with her. As soon as the door shut behind them, Iona dropped the robe that she had been wearing to reveal the black lingerie underneath. It was quite different from the look she'd had in their last session and she could see Henry glance at her curiously out of the corner of his eye. Jo had picked it out for the session; it was very similar to what she had been wearing the first time they had met her and she had no qualms about undressing in front of them. Jo paused a moment to consider what might be wrong with her for making such a decision.

"I hear you're being difficult, Henry" Iona said. As soon as she had dropped the robe and turned around, it was obvious that her professional façade was on. Jo could sense the air of authority rolling off of her instantly. She looked at Henry with a critical eye, coming to stand inches away from him. "I thought you were going to be easier to handle after our last session? I can see you didn't learn your lesson, did you?"

Henry looked at Jo briefly as if stunned that the blame was instantly being turned on him but Jo just looked firmly at Iona, directing Henry's attention to her as well. "I…..I….am not being difficult" he tried to argue.

"Tut tut, Henry" Iona chided him. "I don't tolerate lying here. Come"

Henry's mouth hung open as if he wanted to argue but Iona was walking toward the room where all of her tools were, crooking her finger at Henry to follow her. Jo followed the two into the other room; she knew what was happening, to an extent but that didn't stop her from shivering in excitement when she saw the various instruments of pain laid out.

"You….stay right there and don't move" Iona commanded Henry with authority. Henry froze instantly on the spot, watching Iona for direction. He didn't have the benefit of knowing what was coming like she did but he knew that was the way that he'd rather have it. He didn't want to have to make decisions; that was Jo's part. At least for part of it…

Iona turned away from Henry, walking past him as if he were just a small insect she could barely see, and walked to Jo. She took Jo's hand and led her further into the room, where she would handcuff her. Since this was in Iona's office and not her apartment like last time, there was more restraint. Jo felt a tremble of excitement and fear run through her as Iona took her hands and put them in the handcuffs above her head, effectively sealing her in. Jo's mouth felt dry; when she was released again it would be because she had reached her limit.

"You see, Henry, Jo had no problem coming to me and telling me about how she was feeling, what was bothering her. Jo has been very, very good" Iona said fondly. She gave Jo an affectionate pat and Jo couldn't help but lean into the touch. Seeing Henry's already pained eyes on her, she tried to show more restraint. She didn't understand what it was about Iona that took away all of her inhibitions but it seemed in such a short time Iona could make her feel needy and clingy. She didn't need people's approval; for the most part she cared very little what other people thought about her. But she found that when she was around Iona she wanted nothing more than her praise. It struck a chord of need inside her that she didn't even know existed.

Iona moved from Jo after a moment to Henry and that Jo knew that the attention between her and Henry would be more evenly split this time it didn't stop her from feeling vulnerable, bound and watching Henry for the pain she knew what coming for him. Jo knew they were both in for physical pain but Henry was the one that was really going to feel emotional pain.

"Come here, Henry" Iona commanded, standing next to a table that had several different tools laid out on it. Henry followed Iona, his eyes instantly falling to the toys of torture.

"Pick one" Iona ordered, pointing to the tools.

Confusion instantly crossed Henry's face. "What?" he asked. He was no doubt wondering why he was being given the decision.

"You heard me" Iona said, "Pick the one you feel you deserve"

Henry's brow furrowed in confusion, that deep, almost ageless pain he seemed to have in his eyes. His eyes roamed over the tools and Jo could almost see the gears working in his mind. After several tense minuets he selected a long, thin wooden instrument. Jo groaned silently to herself, knowing what would happen next. It wasn't like it was a surprise to Jo. When talking to Iona, Jo and she had both agreed that Henry no doubt a talent for being especially hard on himself. While Iona had not put out the harshest of toys since they were still considered beginners (even though Henry had the endurance of someone that had been beaten before) Henry still managed to pick the one Jo was sure would hurt the most; it didn't surprise Jo at all. The tool even looked like it fit Henry. It had the look of a stick or ruler used to reprimand disobedient children in a reform school. Though Henry never spoke about his childhood, even when Jo specifically asked, she was sure he must have gone to some fancy private school. While she was sure he was born with plenty of brilliance no one was as smart or as proper as he was without some special education. Jo almost smiled at the thought of a young Henry; she was sure that his mouth has gotten him in trouble more times than not.

Iona took the stick from Henry with a grin on her face; she wasn't surprised by his choice either. "Good choice" she said with a smile. "Come"

Iona walked over to the spot directly in front of Jo where Henry would be handcuffed. Jo watched the subtle look of panic come into his eyes as Iona clasped the handcuffs tightly on his wrists and above his heads.

"Tell me, Henry. Who is she?" Iona asked, gesturing to Jo curiously.

Henry looked confused again. "That's Jo" he said, fidgeting against his cuffs nervously, his eyes glancing at Jo but he looked away quickly.

"But who is she? What do you think of her?" Iona asked curiously.

Henry's eyes caught Jo's and he gave her a slightly pained smile; they were both so vulnerable already and it wasn't even close to what was about to happen. "She's my partner. My friend" he said. His words were heartfelt and warm; they were the deepest confession anyone was likely to get out of Henry without a beating.

"So, you'd say that you two are equals?" Iona said. She was tapping the stick against her hands and Henry watched it as if it might spring from her hands.

"Yes" Henry answered quickly. "Certainly."

Iona turned her gaze away from Henry and came to stand by Jo. Jo felt her breath hitch before she was even touched; her flinching made the actual pain of the hit with the stick to her back worse. She bit her lip against the hit; the pain sent a strange flood of hormones through her blood and her body seemed to already brace for more.

The effect on Henry was instant. "What are you doing?!" he asked, pain crossing his face. He strained against the cuffs as if trying to get away before remembering that he couldn't. After their last session Iona felt that Henry suffered much more watching Jo get hurt than getting hurt himself. Jo had to agree and she felt she should not have felt as satisfied with this fact as she was.

"You and Jo are squeals; what you get hit with, so does she" Iona explained calmly before hitting Jo again. She gritted her teeth as the pain spread across her back. She had discussed this with Iona ahead of time; what Henry chose for himself was what was to be used for both of them. She agreed with it but she knew Henry would not accept it easily.

"But that was supposed to be for me" Henry argued vehemently. "You told me to pick something for me and I did but it's not for-"

Henry was ranting in his typical fashion but Iona effectively shut him up with several swift hits to the back with the stick. His eyes clenched as he fought the pain that was no doubt radiating through him. "You and Jo suffer the same pain, Henry" Iona explained with another hit. "You believe that you are alone in your pain but Jo is here and she feels pain too"

Iona delivered a hit to Henry and Jo within the space of a few seconds. The raspy gasp that issued from Jo's mouth was almost identical to Henry's and seemed to validate Iona's point. Jo's whole back was on fire and her heart seemed to skip a beat as her body categorized the pain.

"You're doing it again, Henry" Iona said, "You're pushing Jo away again when you need her most. You're filled with pain but you need to realize that you can share that with Jo because she feels pain too."

Iona turned away from Henry and came to stand next to Jo. She was so close Jo could smell the subtle hint of her perfume and see the study in her eyes. "Tell him, Jo" she said gently. "Be a good girl and tell him."

Alarm bells rang throughout Jo's head. That stirring inside made her instantly want to do whatever it was that made her 'good' but she didn't know what Iona was talking about. "Tell him what?" Jo asked.

"Tell him about Sean"

Oh no…..not that; anything but that…Jo didn't know what to think. They were here for Henry to tell her about Abigail and why he was so afraid of intimacy. They were not here to talk about her. "W-what about him?" Jo stuttered. "Henry knows about my husband" And he did; maybe he didn't know all of the details but he knew everything that was really essential for him to know about his partner's late husband.

"I've no doubt that Henry knows you were married but what I'm interested in you telling him is how kissing him makes you feel about your late husband" Iona said calmly.

"No" Jo burst out. She hadn't really meant to say it; she wasn't even really thinking it consciously.

Iona hit her; hard. It was unexpected and much harder than the other hits and she couldn't stop the gasp of pain that came out. When she opened her clenched eyes she could see Iona directly in her path of vision. Iona was looking at her with a disapproving look that made her shiver down to her toes.

"Jo, you will be honest with Henry" Iona said in a strict tone, placing the stick on her back threateningly.

"I am" Jo said defensively "There isn't anything to tell"

The handcuffs dug painfully into Jo's wrists as she fought the pain of the stick against her back. She could already feel the burn of the bruises on her back, making her skin on fire. She wanted to rip the shirt from her back but she knew the pain would be unbearable without a layer of clothing.

"Jo, this is very disappointing" Iona said in the chiding tone of a disappointed teacher. "I expected more of you."

Jo felt cracks in the wall of her façade. The disappointment in Iona's face and tone were making her resolve crumble even though she didn't think it should. "I don't know what you want" Jo said, desperation creeping into her tone. All she was sure she felt about the kiss with Henry was that she was upset he didn't want to be closer to her.

"Yes you do" Iona said. "Think about it"

Several more smacks and Jo was trembling. She couldn't resist calling out when the stick connected with her back now even though she tried. When she opened her watering eyes she saw Henry and it made her falter.

Henry's face was pale, his eyes tortured and pained. She had expected that much; she recalled with guilty fondness how Henry had strained against his bonds the last time as he begged Iona to let him hold her, comfort her. But what she didn't expect was the look of betrayal on his face. Even Henry was accusing her of keeping secrets. Why? Jo felt desperate; what did they want?

"Jo, how can you expect Henry to be honest when you're not being honest with him either?" Iona asked. "I didn't expect you to be difficult"

Iona's hits were frequent and painful. Each smack made her flesh on fire and her body ache. She bit the inside her mouth until she tasted blood; eventually it was impossible not moan as she felt the stab of pain come from each hit. Desperately, she tried to think of something to tell Henry.

This wasn't supposed to be about her. What could she possibly have to tell Henry about Sean? Henry knew how painful Sean's death had been for her; they'd talked about it at length. What else was there to tell?

Jo was nearly at her end but she didn't know what to give up. Her body was shaking and tears blurred her vision when Henry broke her from herself.

"Jo?"

Jo's head snapped up and her eyes met Henry's. The way he said her name, the sincerity and understanding there made her heart clench. He could sense she had pain and he was trying to show her it was okay.

"It's okay, Jo" Henry assured her in a calm voice even though he looked in pain. "It's all okay"

It broke her; the slap to the back, the understanding from Henry. Pain shuddered through her body and pain made her very soul hurt. A sob broke from her chest as the realization hit her like a wave. Now that she could see it, she didn't know how she had missed it before.

"You're the first, Henry…you're the first" Jo moaned between her sobs. She felt hot tears streaming down her face and she was sure that it was an ugly sight.

"First what?" Henry asked, prodding her gently, understanding on his face.

"The first one I cared about, the first one to matter" Jo said, averting her eyes away from Henry's kind, open ones. "I've spent so many empty, meaninglessly nights with men since Sean's death. None of them meant anything at all. But you do"

Jo was sobbing, breaking apart; with her body aching and her chest splitting in two from her crying she should have felt bad. But the pain was a sweet kind and she welcomed it. She really hadn't seen it before; she had to be broken to really see. Henry's fear of intimacy scared her; she wanted him to be sure because she wasn't.

Jo wanted Henry's arms around her; she wanted to feel his strong arms holding her, wanted to put her face in his neck and rub her cheek against the rough of his stubble. But she knew that she wouldn't be granted that permission yet. Henry hadn't done his part yet.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Henry asked, hopeful but still pained as he looked at Jo openly weeping.

It was good. After Sean's death she was sure that she would feel nothing but aching loss on a good day and crushing emptiness on a bad day. She never thought that she would feel normal again, much less happy. Having feelings for another man was the last thing that she had ever planned on happening. In her life she had never expected to find one soul mate, much less two. The connection that she felt with Henry made her happy; it was what kept her going some days. He'd filled all of the empty, lonely places with happiness once again. He made her laugh, made her happy, made her feel things…she loved it. But the fact that Henry was once more pushing away when she tried to get close to him crushed her.

"It is" Jo said, trying to still her sobs enough to look at him even though it hurt. "I want to care about you, Henry. But you don't want me to care about you"

Henry's face visibly paled. "That isn't true" he argued.

"But it is" Jo said with conviction. "If you wanted me to care about you, you wouldn't push me away"

"I'm afraid!" Henry said, his eyes burning and his words full of feeling. It took Jo aback enough that she stopped crying. She hadn't expected such an admission from Henry without Iona's intervention.

"Of what?" Jo asked, her heart breaking because Henry looked as if the pain of his memories was killing him.

Henry looked torn; Jo could almost see him shut down and put the wall up in his mind that kept him from talking. He stuttered a few times, as if trying to think of a plausible excuse before casting his eyes down. Articulate Henry Morgan couldn't even think of an excuse to cover whatever it was that made him so scared. It made a hopeful vein inside of Jo disappear.

"This has to do with Abigail, doesn't it?" Jo asked again. She suspected it the night that they had kissed but now she was certain of it. She could see the pain on Henry's eyes when he mentioned her, when something came along that reminded him of her. He loved her so much and she had hurt him terribly.

Jo saw a dark tremble of anger cross Henry's face; it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. "Why do you keep asking about her? It has been over for a long time" Each of Henry's words were careful and slow, measured.

"Because you still care about her; she hurt her you terribly and you can't let it go" Jo said. She was sure of it; one only had to see how upset he was to know that it was true.

Henry's face was a mask; he was shutting down in full measure. "I'm not talking about Abigail" he said forcefully. Jo knew from experience that he meant it; his face and tone spoke of the surety of his statement. Jo slumped against her bonds in defeat, her emotional pain crashing inside of her like the physical pain that was radiating through her body.

Luckily, Iona knew it too. She walked away from Jo and towards Henry, her face an authoritative mask. "Yes, Henry, you absolutely will" Iona commanded him in the strictest voice that Jo had ever heard her use.

Iona landed a series of hits to Henry that was so severe that he was shaking already when it was over. His face was red and sweaty but he refused to call out just yet; he slumped against the handcuffs when there was a brief respite.

"Henry….you seem to think that you don't have to share your feelings even though that's clearly what Jo has just done" Iona said disapprovingly. "You will tell Jo what hurt you so much that you can no longer get close to her."

Watching Henry get hit was harder this time. It wasn't that Iona was hitting Henry harder this time; it was his determination not to give up. His face was scrunched, red and covered in sweat, holding in not only his words but even the show of how much the hits hurt. Last time, Henry had been stubborn and not willing to give in; but he hadn't refused to talk. There was no denying this time that Henry didn't want to be honest with her. Weakened by her physical pain and the fact that she had just told Henry something so personal made her crumple. She had told Henry she cared about him and he had no response for that.

"Why do you bring this on yourself?" Jo asked miserably, watching Henry twitch against the handcuffs, his face pale and drawn in pain. Iona gave him a brief moment of calm as Jo talked. His closed his eyes and shut down; Jo could see how labored his breaths were and couldn't believe that he wasn't moaning in pain yet.

"What are you so afraid of telling me?" Jo asked desperately. "After all we have been through, haven't I proven I'm worthy of your trust?" She watched Henry carefully but he kept his eyes closed, head down as if ignoring her. Of all the times that she wished Henry would be quiet, now having his silence was terribly painful. It was completely unnatural.

"I care about you Henry" Jo told him honestly, hoping it would get through his impossibly thick skull. "Even when we first met; you were a murder suspect. I should have been wary of you but I wasn't. That's because you make it impossible not to like you. You're funny and charming and brilliant and caring and so completely eccentric that you're one of a kind. You were my partner and then my friend. I don't want there to be an end…..I don't want my care for you to have an end."

Henry finally opened his eyes and looked at Jo; rather than making her feel better it made her feel worse. They were filled with so much self-loathing and pain that she knew he wasn't giving in yet.

With each hit it became harder and harder for Jo to watch. Surely, the last time she had hated to watch Henry to continue to be stubborn; his bullheadedness was causing him physical pain. But this was worse, so much worse. His ability to keep quiet had given way and now each hit brought the breaking sound of a moaning, wounded animal. Why didn't he just give in? Why was he doing this? Jo felt the rising of panic inside her chest until she could take it anymore.

"Stop! Please stop!" she called out before she had even realized she wanted to say it.

Iona's movements stopped and she turned away from a whimpering, pained Henry to Jo.

"What is that you want, Jo?" she asked in an infuriatingly calm voice.

"Stop hitting him, please" Jo begged. Tears were coming back to her eyes even though she didn't want them to. "He's in so much pain, can't you see that?"

Jo expected Iona to argue with her, reprimand her, continue hitting Henry; she didn't expect Iona to come to her with understanding in her eyes. A soft hand touched her flaming back as Iona looked into her eyes. "Do you trust me, Jo?" she asked calmly but with seriousness in her tone. She spoke low enough that Jo doubted Henry could hear her.

The tears were building in her eyes and she could stop them; she couldn't even wipe them away in her current state. "He won't give in. Why won't he just give up?" she bemoaned.

"Jo" Iona said sternly, drawing her back to attention. "Do you trust me? This scene can't go on if you don't fully trust me"

Did Jo trust Iona? Of course she did. There might have been a time that she didn't; she'd once been certain she'd been a killer. But then again she had once been certain Henry was a killer. Of course she trusted Iona; she wouldn't be here if she didn't. "Yes, I trust you" Jo said honestly.

"If you trust me, then you know I don't push my clients beyond what they can handle" Iona explained. "Henry is a tough, stubborn man. It takes a lot to break him. I can tell if he's had too much and I can see that right now he hasn't. He's close to his end; it'll either end with him talking or us stopping. Do you trust me to continue?"

It was a horrible decision to have to make. Jo knew as well as Iona that Henry couldn't always be trusted to say no when he needed to; some of that fell to Jo. She didn't want to tell Iona to continue; she didn't want to be cause for more pain in Henry. But at the same time she didn't want to end it; she knew that deep down Henry needed it.

"I trust you" Jo said, sickness in her heart as she sealed in the assurance for more pain for Henry.

Jo watched as Henry got hit over and over again. She could see that Iona had been right; with each new blow, Henry's façade was stripping away. With each hit, his calls were less moaning and more close to tears. The only thing holding him up was handcuffs; the rest of his body slumped weakly.

With one last blow, Henry's face fell to his chest, the tears finally coming. "She left me….." he gasped out between sobs. He was so worked into his cries that it was a long moment before he could speak anymore.

"Abigail was my wife….and she left me" Henry said through his tears. He kept his head down, close to his chest as if hiding his shame. "I loved her more than life itself and she abandoned me. One day she was there and the next she wasn't. I never even saw it coming"

Jo didn't know how she could be so simultaneously relieved and impossibly sad. She was so glad that Henry had finally given in but the truth was so sad she wanted to cry for him.

"I didn't know she was so unhappy….." Henry said, as if more to himself than anyone else. "She didn't give me a chance to help her. She left and it was my fault and I never even found out what happened to her. It made he want to die for so long"

Jo's heart was bursting as Iona undid the handcuffs that were trapping her. Her weakened body crumpled slightly but she quickly regained her feet. All she wanted at the moment was to hold Henry. He'd been through so much pain and though she couldn't take that away she wanted to bring him some measure of relief.

"Henry's lucky to have you" Iona whispered close to Jo's ear as she helped Jo steady herself. Jo's head whipped around to look at her, so surprised by her words and the tone they took. It wasn't the voice of professionalism that she usually had; it was her own and her eyes were sincere. Jo didn't know if she really believed her words; she hoped that Henry had some reason to feel having her around was a good thing.

Iona did her best to keep Henry upright but he was so weak he fell to the floor, still openly weeping. As Jo rushed forward toward him she could hear Iona whispering assuredly to Henry. "It's okay, Henry; Jo's right here"

It took only seconds to reach Henry but it felt like forever. She threw her arms around him in a strong embrace; Henry collapsed against her, failing into her lap as he sobbed. Jo pulled him close, burying her face in his neck and soaking up his warmth. "I'm so, so sorry Henry" Jo whispered between sobs. She wanted to tell him it was alright, that everything would be okay. But it was obvious that he wasn't okay; he'd been through something terrible and he was obviously not okay. She didn't want to diminish how he was feeling; she couldn't imagine the pain of being abandoned like that. While losing Sean had been so painful it had nearly killed her, it was a different kind of pain. She could only be angry at the unseen forces that had cut short their life together. She couldn't imagine how she would have felt if Sean had just left her without even an explanation of why he left.

"What did I do? All I want to know is what I did wrong….." Henry said through gasping sobs. His face was firmly hidden in Jo's chest and he didn't emerge, even to ask his pained question.

"You don't deserve this…..no matter what happened. You deserve to be loved, Henry" Jo assured him. She put a consoling hand on his back; feeling the radiating flesh even beneath the shirt, she didn't rub his back. She didn't know what reason Abigail had for leaving; maybe there was something that made her feel it was the only option. But no matter what unseen reason she had for leaving, it could never justify the pain that Henry was feeling.

Jo lost track of how much time they spent like that, in a crumpled heap on the floor as Henry continued to cry; she whispered assurances to him and held him close. She wanted him to know that she was in no way going to leave him. She could only assume that it had been a very long time since he had talked about this; maybe he'd bottled it up since it had happened. But as long as Henry needed, she was there with him, aching and crying over his pain and hers.

…

Jo was tired as the cab pulled up outside Abe's Antiques but she felt freer, lighter; she remembered how the last time they had had a session with Iona how well she had slept and she knew tonight would be no exception. Though she had always wanted to disprove it, Iona's methods worked; maybe they didn't work for everyone but for her and Henry it did work. While she didn't consider herself at all to be a masochist, Iona's skill at delivering the pain and domination that she did somehow made her feel better. There was no point in trying to figure out why that was; it worked and that was all that mattered. Even Henry looked relieved and easygoing now. His eyes were red from fatigue and his crying but the way held himself and the small smile on his face as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye spoke of a relieved man.

As they stepped out of the cab and into the cool night air, Jo felt the night coming to a close; she didn't relish the idea. That was the good thing about having had their last session at her house; he had been able to stay all night without even having had to ask him. It had been all innocent; they hadn't even slept in the same room. But just having Henry there had been an extreme comfort; waking to find him sleeping on her couch had only served to remind her how all that had happened that night had been real.

"Well, I guess this is where I leave you" Jo said, putting her hands in her pockets and giving Henry a smile. Though she felt relaxed and at ease, she still felt slightly vulnerable.

"I suppose so" Henry said, bouncing on his feet as if slightly nervous. He looked around before his gaze came to settle on Jo. "Or…after all we've been through, you could spend the night"

Jo grinnd at him; she couldn't resist the urge to give him a hard time either. "Is the great, proper Henry Morgan getting fresh with me?" she asked with a smile. She was not disappointed in the reaction she got.

Henry blushed, actually blushed. "I…..I wasn't…I wasn't suggesting….." he stuttered, looking embarrassed. Jo decided to put him out of his misery.

"I know you weren't, Henry" Jo laughed. "And of course, I would like to spend the night. I'm so exhausted I can't imagine going all the way home."

Henry grinned, obviously pleased. "Alright then…..its settled" he said, taking out his keys and unlocking the door to the antique shop. They crept quietly through the shop and up the steps to the apartment; they were both so aching that they walked up the stairs like a pair of aged retirees.

The apartment was quiet and dark; Jo was relieved that it appeared Abe was asleep. She hadn't enjoyed the thought of having to explain why she was here at such a late hour. Henry walked through the house, looking nervous as she fidgeted, most unlike him. "I'll…uh…..get you something more comfortable to wear" he said. "You can take my bed and I'll sleep out here on the couch"

Jo shouldn't have enjoyed it so much but she did; seeing Henry out of his proud and cocky element was just too enjoyable. "I wouldn't dream of it" Jo said. "I'll take the couch, just you like you did at my place"

Henry finally split a grin. "As you wish, Detective" he said good naturedly before disappearing down the hallway. He returned a moment later, holding a t-shirt and plaid pajama pants.

"These might be a bit large but hopefully they'll work for you" Henry said, still looking sheepish and embarrassed.

"I'm sure they'll be just fine" Jo said, taking the clothes and heading for the direction of the bathroom.

As soon as she had closed the door behind her, she began to peel her clothes off her tortured skin. Every movement brought attention to the welts that had already formed and were still hot and inflamed. She knew from last time that they would hurt for at least the next couple days and would take much longer to fade away. It didn't matter; no one was going to see them. She just had to be careful about how much she showed they affected her. She recalled with nervous humor how last time Lucas had asked her and Henry if they had been playing sports together because they both moved as if they were sore in the same places. It had not been easy to get his attention away from that line of thought and Jo didn't want to repeat that. She and Henry needed to figure out what was happening between them before they even thought about sharing the fact they were a couple. And no one would ever need to know about them and Iona.

Jo released a sigh of relief as she slid Henry's relaxed clothes on her aching skin. They were wrinkled and soft and they smelled like Henry; they had the air of clothes that had recently been worn. Jo would have expected Henry to give her something that was prim and folded and cleaned; the idea that he gave her his slept in clothes seemed oddly comfortable and intimate and Jo preferred it this way.

When Jo emerged from the bathroom, clad in Henry's slightly baggy clothes, she found him already changed and sitting on the couch. He was wearing clothes similar to hers and something about the sight was especially warming and new. Even after all they had been through it still felt strange to see Henry in pajamas. It was so far from removed from the image he normally projected to see him in sweat pants and a t-shirt.

As Jo walked further into the room, Henry seemed to sense her presence and looked up from where he was setting out a blanket and pillow on the couch for her. Their eyes locked onto each other's and Jo felt her heart stir. Henry looked as if he wanted to say something but he couldn't. He didn't have to; his eyes said it all. Though the episode in Iona's office was over, the feelings remained. He still felt vulnerable; he still needed assurances.

Jo moved quickly toward Henry whose arms were suddenly out to meet her like two magnets that fit together perfectly. Jo wrapped her arms around Henry who did the same, holding desperately onto each other. Henry fell back onto the couch, taking Jo with him; their legs and arms became intertwined until they were one warm, connected mass on the couch. Jo already knew without a doubt that they were both spending the night on the couch.

Jo lost herself in the sound of Henry's heartbeat, the warmth of skin against her, the pull of his arms around her. She felt so safe and protected; she'd forgotten how nice it felt to be in someone's arms, to feel that she didn't have to be strong all of the time. After a long while, Henry pulled back slightly, breaking the connection just enough that they could look into each other's eyes. Henry's face was so close she could see every fleck of color in his eyes, the places on his lips that were cracked because he had bit them during the session with Iona. It would have been nearly effortless to lean over and kiss him; Jo certainly wanted to. But after what had happened tonight and Henry's response to the last kiss, the one she had initiated, she had already made up her mind to let Henry be the one to initiate the next one.

"I didn't get to say before…..I do care for you. In a way that frightens me…a way that I've not felt since….since…..Abigail" Henry said. His grasp with still tight around her, his voice vulnerable but fully open. This was the great thing about the sessions with Iona; they not only got Henry to open up while the session was going on but for long afterwards too.

"Iona was right about that; we're both nervous, afraid to trust" Henry said, brining one of his hands up to run through Jo's hair. She sighed slightly at the gentle touch.

"That's okay" Jo assured him. She hooked her leg around his tighter, pulling him closer towards her. "We can take our time. We can just be friends for a while longer"

Jo had meant it; though she wanted to get closer to Henry she knew they could take it at his slow pace. But that didn't mean that she wasn't pleased when Henry grinned at her and leaned in. This time, the kiss was slow and lazy; it was like a low burn in her chest.

"Or…..we can not be friends" Jo said with a grin once they pulled apart.

Henry smiled back at her before growing more serious. "I was really very broken...after all of it happened" he said truthfully. "I've not really talked about it; not for a long time. Abe is the only one who knows. He was with me when…when Abigail left. He kept me alive , kept me from running myself in the ground. But that part of me that felt things, that felt love, part of it died when she left."

Jo's hand was on Henry's cheek, rubbing softly as he spoke. She could see the pain coming back in his eyes and she wanted to head it off as much as she could.

"I didn't think I could ever feel anything but emptiness. But with you, I feel much more" Henry said.

Jo's heart stirred; it was the same way she felt. She was sure after Sean died that she could never care for anyone. Henry had proved her wrong. "Well, then we've both been proven wrong, haven't we?" she asked before she leaned toward Henry. He closed the space and gave her another long, slow kiss.

"I've never been so happy to be wrong" Henry whispered against her lips.

…

Jo, like the last time, slept soundly and peacefully. She certainly slept better than was decent, considering she was sleeping on half a couch, her entire body feeling the pain of sore muscles. Occasionally in the night she awoke in a sleepy haze; she'd shift ever so slightly to get more comfortable, pressing into Henry's warm form behind her. His face was pressed against her shoulder, his open mouth wheezing slightly and drooling. She smiled in her fatigue as she felt the wet spot on her shirt. She should have been a little disgusted but all she could think of was how she would tease him about it later.

When she woke up fully in the morning, there was no soft, warm drooling Henry behind her. She rolled over onto her back to stretch out before realizing it was a mistake; her back screamed in protest at the contact with the couch.

She could smell the scent of breakfast wafting in from the kitchen and smiled as she walked in that direction. She found Henry in the kitchen, setting a full spread of breakfast on the table. He turned around as she came in.

"Good morning, detective" Henry said with a wide smile, dishing out the eggs onto the plates on the table.

Jo smiled as Henry sat down in the chair opposite her; only Henry could somehow turn her title into the nickname he had. "Good morning, Dr. Morgan" she cheeked back at him. Jo began to eat her breakfast, glancing at Henry. "You didn't tell me you were quite the chef. You always let Abe cook when I come over; I thought you must be a bad cook. You've been hiding another talent of yours"

Henry grinned, pleased with himself. "This is nothing, just a bit of breakfast. Abe really is the chef of the family" he said modestly.

Jo smiled as she took a sip of her coffee, which too was exquisite. Did Henry ever do anything half way? She hadn't had a breakfast like this in very long time. Usually she just had whatever the shop was serving when she went to pick up her coffee on the way to the station. "Well, next time I come over for dinner, you're cooking" Jo said firmly.

They ate in silence for several minutes before Jo noticed Henry shifting uncomfortably, stretching his back and shoulders. "Feeling it now, I bet" Jo observed. She had been slightly alarmed by the sight of Henry's back the previous night as they had cleaned up after the session. It had been already welts and swelling heavily. She knew it was worse than her own; Henry just wouldn't give in. She could only imagine what it might look like now.

"Oh, no….its fine" Henry tried to dismiss, a slight blush coming to his cheeks.

"Henry….."Jo said skeptically, arching an eyebrow at him. He was still ripe enough from the session so he relented.

"Alight…..yes" Henry said truthfully. "I'm definitely 'feeling it' as you say. Even the air seems to hurt"

Somehow they managed a quiet, easy laugh at the comment; Jo couldn't imagine how they could find their self-inflicted injuries funny but they did. Henry looked seriously at Jo as their laughter tapered off. "You're hurting too" he said. It wasn't a question; he knew she would be in pain too.

"A bit…..nothing like you I guess" Jo said honestly. "It'll stick with me for a few days"

Henry gave her that guilty, self-pained look he was such an expert at. "About last night…..I'm really-" he started but Jo didn't let him finish.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry" Jo chided him because he knew he was feeling guilty about her being a party to his pain. "I took you to Iona's last night; it was my idea. And honestly…..I'm pleased with the way things turned out" She gave Henry a warm, meaningful smile; she was glad when he returned it.

After a moment's silence Henry said, "Did you sleep alright? I really think you should have taken the bed"

Jo thought about the night; feeling warm and protected against Henry. She wouldn't have dared trade it for being able to sleep in a bed. "I slept great, considering" she said honestly, still thinking about how Henry felt against her. "Even though you were drooling on me" Jo smiled; it was the perfect time to tease him.

Henry was a perfect candidate to be teased too; he looked completely indignant. "I do not drool" he said, completely offended.

Jo laughed. "Well, if you don't, then last night was a first. Because you definitely did" she teased.

Henry looked horrified. "I do not drool in my sleep" he tried to argue.

"Yeah, you do. And you snore too. Be glad she didn't get to witness that too" Abe said as he walked into the room and came to sit at the table in the free chair.

Jo felt herself pause for a moment; she could only imagine how it looked. Jo dressed in Henry's pajamas, having breakfast here and talking about how he slept…Nothing had happened but she knew it would be pointless to argue that if asked.

Henry must have felt it too; there was a long uncomfortable silence that was only broke when Abe spoke. "Honestly, Henry….a beautiful girl lets you drag her home for the night and you spend the next morning arguing with her? I thought you had more charm than that" he teased. He looked in Jo's direction and gave her a warm smile; whatever happened the previous night, he was glad she was here. She knew now that she and Abe were all Henry had left in a life of pain.

"I wasn't arguing with her" Henry said, "I was simply saying I didn't-"

"Henry…..despite popular belief, you are a human and you do drool in your sleep" Abe laughed. "A girl tells you that, you just agree with her. A girl tells you your breath smells like garbage, you agree with that too"

Henry looked at Jo, as if hoping for some lifeline from the teasing. "He has a point, you know. You should just always agree with me. I know best" Jo said humorously.

Henry relented, finally smiling. "What am I going to do with you two?" he asked.

"If you're as smart as you claim to be, you'll keep us around and listen to what we tell you" Abe said. Jo couldn't agree more; Henry was brilliant but he didn't always know or do what was best for him.

"I guess that sounds like a fair enough plan" Henry agreed, glancing at Jo out of the corner of his eye and giving her a wide smile.

 

Thanks for reading! Please review and let me know what you think :) I'll add to this story if I get more ideas, so keep an eye out!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Jo has a terrible day, Iona convinces her to have a therapy session even though Henry is out of town. Jo realizes how she feels about the domintion therapy herself and learns that it isnt just about Henry's needs.

Jo raced down the hallway, filled with such energy she wasn't sure if it was anger or sorrow or some mixture of both. Her desk was out of the question; the last thing she needed was to be around people right now. Knowing there was really nowhere to be completely alone, Jo pushed through the bathroom door, feeling her emotions getting the best of her. It wasn't ideal but at least it would afford her a few minutes of silence before she had to come out and act like she was completely alright and not falling apart.

Jo gripped the edges of the sink and leaned on it heavily, feeling her breath and heartrate out of tune. She was angry, enraged really; she could feel it burning just at the edge and ready to explode. But at the same time, if she was being honest, she could feel the desperation of sorrow under it all, ready to claim her conscious when her anger subsided. Already she could feel that her sadness was stronger than the anger and would nearly destroy her when she let it come for her.

She knew that Recee had valid reasons for chewing her out; she had made a mistake today. Well, she had made plenty of mistakes and those mistakes had not only put her team in a dangerous position but had cost an officer his life. She didn't blame Recee for being angry with her; it was deserved. But the guilt she had laid upon her for her mistakes was unnecessary; not because she didn't deserve to feel guilty but because she already blamed herself enough to adequately punish herself for what she had done. It was something that she would have to live with forever; she had failed not only her team but Recee and herself as well.

Jo could feel her arms shaking as they held into the cold porcelain of the sink; her rage was quickly cooling and turning to the grief that was buried under it. She could feel tears stinging the corners of her eyes as she avoided her gaze in the mirror. She tried…..she just tried so hard. Everything she tried in her life she put her all in but her all was never enough; she always came up short. She always failed the people around her.

Jo's vision was blurry when she heard the bathroom door open behind her and she hastily tried to rub at her eyes to cover the fact that she was about two seconds from losing it. That was the last thing that she needed; someone to see her in here crying and then it getting around the station that she couldn't handle her duties. No doubt they were already thinking it after the fiasco today; it was imperative that she look strong now more than ever. She was skilled at putting up walls and that was what she needed right now; bury down all of this nonsense and do what she could to make amends of the mistake of all of this.

"Jo?"

Jo's head whipped around at the voice; one so familiar and out of place here that it took her by complete surprise. Jo watched as Iona surveyed her with concern; watching…..studying her. She was the last person on Earth that Jo needed to see right now. She needed to put herself together right now not fall apart. "What are you doing here?" Jo asked. It came out snappy and irritable but she was glad for it. Right now anger and sadness was all she was capable of.

"I had to come to the station and make a statement against a former client" Iona said. Jo was surprised to see her easy going manner was replaced by a slightly nervous one.

"Another case of blurred patient/therapist lines?" Jo asked. She knew it was a horrible thing to say and she didn't mean it at all. She could see the hurt instantly register on Iona's face before she recovered her composure. Jo didn't know why she was being so nasty; if anyone was a case of blurred lines it was she and Henry. They had been seeing Iona frequently for over a year now and she knew that she was as attached to Iona as Henry was. She was a vital part of their relationship and emotional health whether Jo wanted to admit it or not. Even deeper went what Iona meant to Jo. No one could make her open up like Iona; with a few carefully crafted words Iona could get right to the heart of what she feeling and break her completely apart. Maybe that was why it was absolutely essential that she make Iona angry; she couldn't afford for Iona to be nice to her in her current state. She would completely lose it.

"No" Iona said, her tone clipped. She didn't offer any other explanation on the matter, making it obvious that she resented the remark. Despite that, Jo could see her visibly relax, regarding Jo with concern again. "I saw you walking down the hall. You seemed distressed; are you okay?"

"I'm fine" Jo said, crossing her arms over her chest as Iona walked a bit closer to her.

"Are you really?" Iona asked, frowning as she obviously didn't believe Jo's lie.

"I said, I'm fine" Jo said shortly, miffed that Iona was pushing her. She was even more miffed that she wanted to tell her about what had happened. This wasn't a session; this wasn't therapy. She shouldn't want to tell her anything now.

"Where's Henry? Perhaps we could all have a chat" Iona suggested.

Jo shook her head vigorously as a shiver of cold delight ran down her back at the suggestion. The merest idea of a session with Iona could send a Palov –like response of pleasure throughout her body and she hated it sometimes. "Henry's out of state. He and Abe went to Maine to collect on a big antiques lead they were following" Jo said as plainly as she could. She didn't want her tone to betray how Henry being away made her feel. She wasn't dependent on him but after today she wanted nothing more than to have him wrap his arms around her and make her feel like something other than a monster.

"Oh, well…you and I then?" Iona suggested calmly. It threw Jo for a moment; what would they do without Henry there? The sessions were for Henry, right? Having one without him felt wrong…felt like betraying him somehow. Somehow Jo wanted it but she didn't want to want it.

"You and I what?" Jo stuttered out, disappointed in herself that she sounded so eager. She crossed her arms over her chest and surveyed Iona with a haughty look that she didn't feel. Anger or tears was all she was capable of at the moment.

Iona smiled and Jo wanted to be angry at her insufferable calmness; didn't anything ever rattle her? Jo wanted to think of another cutting remark like the patient/therapist line that had at least looked like it hurt her for one second. "You know what, Jo" Iona said coolly. "We go back to my office, have a little chat about why you're so upset"

"I'm not upset" Jo lied quickly. It was too bitter and too quick to be taken as honesty. It didn't fool Iona for one second. She was so good at reading people Jo doubted she could lie to her even if she really tried.

"You're lying" Iona said, walking closer to Jo. Jo tried to back up but hit the sink behind her and it prevented her from getting away. Iona came to stand within inches of her. "How disappointing…I'm sure you only do that because you can here. What a shame to see you lashing out."

Jo felt her face flushed but responded in anger. "What is that supposed to mean?" Jo snapped. She wasn't sure how this was even happening. It was so unlikely, seeing Iona here and even more unlikely and unfair that she should be challenging her in her domain. This was where she was supposed to be in control even though she felt one second away from her entire façade falling.

Iona looked into Jo's eyes, dangerously close, as if she could see everything that she was thinking; it was her uncanny way of seeing everything that could make Jo feel so out of control sometimes in her presence. "Oh, Jo" Iona said with a grin on her lips that infuriated Jo and made her wanted to wipe if off her face by any means necessary. "Henry is the difficult one, isn't he? Do you take up his bad habits when he's gone?"

Jo was annoyed but she almost revealed in it at this point; being infuriated at Iona was a relief to what she had been feeling. "Henry doesn't make me do anything, by his presence or his absence" Jo insisted. No one made her do anything, she thought with extreme relish.

But when Jo met Iona's eyes again, full of understanding and something deeper that she didn't understand yet, Jo faltered. No one made her do anything except the one person standing only inches away from her that did make her do things. It was the one person who could control her, who could handcuff her and hit her and get away with it, the one person who could make Jo do exactly what she wanted, get her to say exactly that she wanted to hear. She wanted to blame it all on Henry and maybe she had been able to do that in the beginning but now she couldn't even sell that lie to herself. Iona could control her in ways that no one else could or ever had been able to. She didn't understand it herself.

Iona tilted her head and her tone was different, so different when she spoke again. "I meant that when Henry's around, he's difficult but you are always my good girl"

Dammit…Jo felt that thing, that stirring inside her that made all of her domination fall to the ground as she submitted to Iona. Her tone was gentle, almost whispering, as it was when she praised her in a session. It was the only kind of praise Jo ever received and she always lapped it up shamelessly; she rarely resisted like Henry did. Iona reached her hand up and brushed the hair out of her face and behind her ear, letting her hand linger for a moment there. Jo found herself leaning into the touch thoughtlessly. It was so simple, so gentle a move and as Jo closed her eyes, a sigh coming from deep inside herself. It could be this easy if she'd let herself; she didn't have to be angry or upset or sad…there could be just this.

The door of the bathroom creaked and brought Jo back to herself. She opened her eyes in time to see a woman's head pop in and briefly pop back out. Jo shrugged out of Iona's touch but it was already too late to not have been seen. Great…..that's just what she needed for that kind of rumor to start circulating. But at least the interruption served to distract Jo enough that she could get mad again and out of Iona's powerful spell.

"What do you want?" Jo asked, crossing her arms stiffly again and backing away from Iona. "You know, I actually am at work. I have things to do, so why don't you just go?" Jo couldn't feel completely in control with Iona around and the station was the last place she needed to feel out of control, especially now.

"I am going to leave but you're coming with me" Iona said with the certainty of someone that never had their will challenged.

"I'm not coming with you" Jo said just as firmly. "I'm at work…what part of that didn't you understand?"

Iona raised her eyebrow with a smirk on her face. "I didn't understand the part where you've had a horrible day and you're going to leave early. With me….to have a proper chat."

"Oh, and you just think that I'm going to do it because you say so?" Jo asked with more defiance and resolve than she really felt. She was faking at this point and she felt a little exhausted by it. When she came down off of this anger she was going to crash hard and she couldn't do that with Iona; not without Henry.

"I know you will" Iona said with cool confidence.

"And why is that?" Jo asked with a grin.

"Because you won't turn down a chance to be able to spend the night letting me make all of your decisions" Iona stated. "With the kind of day you've had, there's nothing that you'd like more than to submit to me."

Jo felt goosebumps move across her skin at the thought. It was really unnerving how Iona could see exactly what she was feeling, know how she was hurting even though she was being nothing but hateful. Jo let herself entertain the idea for a moment; no Henry, just her and Iona. What would that even be like? Jo tried to shake off the quickly coming sense of submission washing over her. "Well, Henry's not here so, I think I'll pass. You know, all of bondage and whipping is really for his benefit" Jo said with as much confidence and arrogance she could manage. It was a horrible lie; she participated as much as Henry did. But for a moment Jo honestly believed that she could get Iona to believe it.

Jo soon realized how wrong she was. Iona didn't lash out at her but instead she reached forward and took Jo's hands in her own, making Jo stop; hands that hit her, hands that hurt her, hands that stroked her hair and comforted her. Jo's eyes met Iona's as she tried and failed to summon her anger again. "Then I can be gentle" she said with quietness and warmth that made Jo feel something short circuit in her brain.

"Uh…..what?" she asked, feeling flustered and hot even though she tried to appear unaffected.

Iona's eyes found hers with heat no matter where she looked. "If the rough stuff is for Henry then I can be gentle….for you" Iona said.

Jo was finding it hard to breathe and that was her signal that she needed to get away. Iona wasn't gentle unless she had brought pain first; to suggest otherwise made Jo feel like a line had been crossed. "I really don't think so" Jo said, pulling her hands back and shoving them in her pockets. She looked down to avoid meeting Iona's x-ray stare. "Henry's not here and we didn't have a session planned. Besides, they are quite the expense"

Jo was actually hoping that that remark might bring some anger out in Iona to break the unbearable tension in the room. Iona didn't speak until Jo finally looked up at her. "You know, you were right, Jo" Iona said with a resigned tone.

It was the last thing that Jo expected to hear from the woman who had such confidence against her moments ago. "About what?" Jo asked.

"About crossing lines with my patients" Iona said quietly. "I suppose that's a habit that I will never be able to break."

"What do you mean?" Jo asked. She felt a rush of heat to her face because she was fairly sure what she meant but she wasn't sure she should be having this discussion without Henry here. At the same time she wasn't sure that this conversation would be happening with Henry here in the first place.

"When was the last time you and Henry actually had an appointment or paid for my services?" Iona asked with a knowing look.

Jo's color increased; she honestly couldn't remember. That's when she knew that she had lost the battle.

…

Jo didn't know why she was actually going along with Iona. She knew that she should have been rushing for home where she could lock herself away with her sorrow and bad mood. She supposed that it was good that she wasn't alone to be left at her own devices tonight; she could easily fall into old habits. Her life since Henry had come into it had been filed with so much warmth and happiness and hope; they had both saved each from a life that hadn't seemed worth living. She didn't want to admit that without Henry she defaulted to her old methods of drowning her problems with drink. It was no secret that she drank but she doubted anyone knew how bad it had really been. The period between Sean's death and her meeting Henry had been a bleak blot on her life, filled with depression, sex with more men than she wanted to count and borderline alcoholic behavior. She had been out of control and she was glad that no one knew it; she'd been saved from that spiral before it had been too late.

And honestly she knew the reason for that; she wasn't good alone. She wanted everyone to think that she didn't need anyone; that was really the only kind of image she could safely project. But it was her deep, incessant need for connection that often got her in situations that she came to regret. Alcohol, sadness and need for human connection never ended well, especially when you didn't have anyone to turn to.

And maybe she had Iona to turn to. Ultimately, Jo knew that when Iona spoke of connection and caring for her patients, she meant Henry. She tolerated Jo for Henry's sake; it was no secret really that Iona did and always had had some kind of feelings for him. Jo tried not to analyze too closely how that made her feel. But when it came down to it, she was in the middle. None of this would happen without Henry.

And yet, as Jo walked through Iona's door, she felt a stirring of genuine nerves in her belly as to what this was going to be. Because even though she was sure that all of this was for Henry, he wasn't here and the usual session she was accustomed to was not what was going to happen tonight. Jo walked into the room, watching as Iona opened the curtain that covered her therapy devices. What was she doing here? Jo was used to the tremble of excitement that ran through her when she was here for a session with Henry, thinking about the closeness and intimacy that the session would bring them; and yes part of her relished the pain she received. But this was different; this was like it was the first time because this was new. Her palms were sweating, her heart was racing but she felt alive; for a moment her troubles and sorrow of the day had vanished.

Jo watched as Iona looked around the room quietly, as if trying to figure out exactly what she should use on her. The anticipation was almost too much to bear. "Uh…..what would you like me to do?" Jo asked, eager for some kind of response. Iona ignored her, continuing to glance through the tools.

"This was really your idea…..what are we going to be doing here?" Jo asked a little more forcefully. Iona still ignored her. Jo's anticipation was sending her in a state of anxiety; she was likely to lose her nerve if she didn't do something quickly.

Iona ignored Jo's question again to her dismay. A moment later Jo watched Iona throw off her clothes with complete indifference, leaving her wearing nothing but lacy black underwear and bra. Jo felt her cheeks flush as a grin twitched at her lips. "You know, I don't think the lingerie is necessary. Henry's not here" Jo said, feeling the first occasion for laughter, albeit embarrassed laughter, the entire horrible day. Iona dressed for her clients and the idea that she was dressed as such without Henry made Jo nervous enough that it was hilarious; honestly, that at least was for him, right?

Jo was still grinning when Iona finally turned around and acknowledged her. "Dear god, would you just shut up?" Iona's voice was commanding and angry and in sent a tremble throughout the room.

The smile instantly faded off of Jo's face and she felt her laughter turn to upset like a light switch. Iona had never used that tone with her or looked at her that way before. "W-what?" Jo stuttered.

Iona walked over to her, anger on her face. Though her eyes met Jo's, Jo felt like she shrank under Iona's harsh gaze. "You heard me. Shut….up….." Iona seethed. "If I want to hear what you think, I'll ask you. Otherwise, keep your petty opinions to yourself. You don't tell me what you think is appropriate. I know what I'm doing and you don't. I tell you what to do and you do it, understand?"

Jo had been talked to in some of the most demeaning and harsh ways in her life; she was a cop so it was no uncommon thing to be verbally harassed. But all of that was different to how this made her feel. The only thing that even came close to comparison was far into her memories, deep into her tumultuous childhood; yelling, being talked down to…..Jo instantly felt for lack of better term, whipped, and Iona hadn't even touched her. "But…..Henry-"she started.

"Henry is not here" Iona snapped at her, grabbing her by the chin and making her look into her eyes like a child. "This is not about him, this is about you. And you don't want it nice, you didn't want it gentle so it's not going to be. Not unless you beg me. Not Henry…you. Understand?"

Jo's mouth hung open for a moment, searching for the breath she needed to speak. Jo didn't know what she expected but this certainly wasn't it. While Iona had always hurt her physically she had always been relatively gentle with her words. Was this what it was like one on one? The focus of this session wasn't about fixing things between her and Henry, it was about her in some way. But how? To break her down? Jo thought about what Iona said; she would have to beg for comfort. She briefly entertained the idea of begging Iona to be nice, to be kind, without even hurting her at all, whatever that entailed. Jo's eyes were downcast, one of hands finding a spot on Iona's hip; suddenly all she wanted was the connection and human bond that had always gotten her into trouble. "Well…..maybe we could just….." Jo started to say but she was cut off harshly; Iona smacked the hand Jo had on her, backing away from her.

"I want to hear it" Iona said firmly, her eyes daggers. "I want to hear why you think I should be nice to you. Give me a good reason…..beg and maybe I'll do it."

Well, there Jo was at a loss. Why should she really be comforted? After what she had done today, after the mistakes she'd made and the pain she had caused others, what reason should she have for being comforted? None…..she deserved pain and suffering. She deserved to be beat and turned out without any aftercare. Jo felt a lump growing in her throat as she resigned herself to the fact whatever she wanted should go out the window.

"That's what I thought" Iona said when Jo didn't speak. "Now, you, get over there" Iona commanded, pointing to a spot on the floor. "On your belly"

Jo felt a pooling of nerves in her stomach as she followed Iona's outstretched finger to the place when she pointed to. She felt like dirt…..she felt terrible as she lay down on the ground, facing the floor. When she and Henry had sessions they were always upright, usually in stress pose so that they could see each other's reactions and respond to each other. Everything about this position said that Jo was alone; Henry wasn't here and she was alone in her pain. She had brought this upon herself and she deserved it. Though she hadn't discussed this with Iona beforehand there was no doubt in Jo's mind that this was exactly what she deserved.

Once Jo was stretched out on the floor, she watched as Iona's feet traveled to come behind her. Hands pulled her jacket off and then there was the cold snap of handcuffs on her wrists as they were cuffed behind her back, making it difficult to do anything. She was essentially stuck on the floor, vulnerable to anything that Iona wanted to do. A sense of panic whispered through her.

Iona moved briefly away from Jo but when she tried to look up, Jo was rewarded with the press of a shoe against the back of her head, pushing her down. "I didn't tell you to get up. Down" Iona ordered her.

Jo closed her eyes against the floor, feeling tears in her eyes already. What the hell was wrong with her? She was used to the gentle strokes, petting and tender words mixed in with the pain and beating. This…..this was so much worse. Not only was she not even close to being praised, it was almost like she was being ignored and that was about the worst thing she could imagine. She thought about how Iona had called her a good girl earlier and how she'd shrugged her off; now she wished that she hadn't.

Jo could hear the sound of Iona moving items for a moment before she was behind her and oh, it was so much worse…

Iona's fingers pressed the ball gag into her mouth and fastened it behind her head. If Jo had felt panicked and out of control before it was nothing compared to now. She had never been gagged before and with good reason. The point of her and Henry's sessions had always been communication; now, she'd lost even the ability to speak. And the worst part was she probably deserved it. Almost as if to make herself sadder, she thought about how Henry would react if he was here; the outrage, the upset, the pain on his face as he would argue with Iona to let her go. But Henry wasn't here and Jo felt no remorse at letting a few of her tears fall because no one was even looking at her.

"This is something that you've brought upon yourself" Iona said. All Jo could do from her place on the ground was watch her feet and anticipate some kind of pain. Jo forced herself to take long breaths through her nose to fight off the irrational panic that she felt at not being able to speak. "You apparently think that you don't deserve any good treatment. And I'm starting to think that you're right"

When a whip struck Jo's back she called out, the sound strangely muffled by the gag. It stung and sent a shockwave of pain and odd pleasure through her body, from her back down to her toes. When she felt it twice more, each one harder, she flinched so hard that her forehead hit the floor, making her dizzy.

"I tried to be nice to you but you didn't want me to" Iona said. "I suppose that's because you're not really as good as I imagined"

Jo withered against the smacks of the whip and the words. She hadn't despised anything for a long time as much as she despised the gag that prevented her from arguing. She wanted to be good! Everything she did seemed to fail but she tried….so…..hard….

"Maybe its Henry…..maybe he makes you good" Iona mused. "What are you without him, really?" Iona asked.

Jo's back was on fire and she simultaneously flinched away from and moved into the hits. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes and ran down her face. She felt a twinge of anxiety; maybe this was it. Maybe this was where Iona told her exactly what she feared; Henry was the one. Iona needed Henry and Henry needed Iona but did either of them really need her? Did anyone really? Look what a mess she'd made of everything today; an entire family had been ripped apart because of her mistake.

"Maybe you shouldn't even be here" Iona said. "What can we really accomplish here without Henry?"

This was intolerable…..Jo flinched and rolled and twitched on the floor completely miserable. In short minuets time her whole body was on fire, her clothes soaked in sweat. Against her better judgement, Jo tried to look back at Iona. She just wanted to see her, to feel some connection even just visually. But Iona simply pushed her head back in the floor before she could even really look at her.

"I don't want to see you; don't look at me" Iona commanded. "I want nothing of you until you're ready to beg, to apologize for being the wretch you are."

Jo was sobbing; the physical pain was unbearable but even it couldn't compare to the emotional pain. Her default in tragedy was to seek out personal affection and connection; in the past that had meant strangers but more recently that had meant Henry. Having someone that she could really lean on and feel affection from had been wonderful; after Sean died she wasn't sure she'd feel that again. So, to be in pain and not have any kind of physical comfort was awful. Even if Iona hit her mercilessly it would be alright if she touched Jo, let Jo touch her…These sessions had always ended with her being close to Henry emotionally and physically but without him she was dying inside. Iona didn't even want Jo to look at her much less touch her.

The hits came in a blur of pain and shudders so that Jo lost count. Her whole body hurt and her sobs chocked around the gag preventing her from speaking. How could she beg if she couldn't even speak? Part of her wanted to be given the chance to beg Iona to stop, to tell her that she didn't deserve this treatment. But another, bigger part of her knew that she did deserve this. She made mistakes of nearly everything she touched and people were always quick to point out those faults. It had always been like that in her life and it was not unreasonable; if she didn't always fail, then people would praise her more. In sessions past Iona had lavished praise on her; when Henry had been difficult, unwilling to give in, she had always pointed to Jo and showed how good she was at giving in. Maybe Jo had taken that for granted; she wanted that desperately now.

Jo wanted to look back at Iona but she didn't try again; to be turned away would be more painful than she really wanted to endure. She took the hits with her face turned down, weeping openly. Her wrists cut into the handcuffs as her body shook from the shock of the pain but she didn't try to fight it.

"It didn't have to be this way…..but this is the way that you really like it, isn't it?" Iona asked, somewhere close to her ear because Jo could feel her breath even if she couldn't see her. "You blamed all of this on Henry but you always wanted to be here, didn't you? Henry gave you the courage to come here but you were intrigued from the very beginning. You scoffed at my profession, made fun of me but I'm not the first person to hit you"

Jo fell limp against the floor at the unbidden words, fight going out of her even as the whip stung. Memories of a life that seemed a whole world away came rushing to the forefront of her mind. Before Henry, before Sean…a long time ago she hadn't been the same person she was now and that was a person she wanted to forget had ever existed. She had forgotten about all of that very effectively, pushed it far away so she didn't have to see it but now she did.

"Ah…..did I strike a nerve?" Iona asked in a voice that was almost taunting. "Did I finally make you feel pain? If Henry was here he'd be so angry. Can't you just see his face? All drawn and tortured at watching you suffer so much pain? He'd make me stop hitting you but I wonder if you'd ever let him hit you."

Henry never would hit her, not even if she wanted him to; not even like this. With her eyes full of tears, her body one hot, shivering, aching mess she wanted nothing more than to see Henry. She wasn't a needy person but right now she wanted Henry's arms around her, his voice in her ear. He was always so gentle with her, so kind; she wanted to bury her face in his chest and all of those fancy clothes of his and get lost in his heartbeat and the scent that she had come to know as just Henry. But he wasn't here and when this was all over she wasn't going to get any of those things. Jo had always trusted Iona to never push her further than she could go but right now she felt so broken inside she didn't even want to pick up the pieces.

Jo fell against the floor, hyperaware of the cold, hard feel of it, the brush of the air against her fevered skin. She began to feel the pain she was experiencing on another level; less was the feel of the whip and more was the burning and cold contrast of the hurt rippling through her whole body. She felt herself in all physical and mental ways simply give up….

And finally, finally, that's when it ended. The moment she had made up her mind to give up, it all stopped. Jo could distantly see the whip hit the ground out of her peripheral vision and the next moment she felt hands on wrists; hands that felt cold against the burning of her skin opened the handcuffs. Jo's hands fell limply to the floor from behind her back as Iona's hands moved to her head. Jo braced herself for a push away as she had too easily accepted would happen; instead, Iona's hands undid the gag, pulling out of her mouth.

She should have been relieved, she should have been happy. Isn't that what she wanted? To be free? To have the pain stop? But as it all had Jo was left with a terrible, empty feeling. She pulled her legs and arms into her chest, curling up as the waves of cold pain shook her body. Sobs like she had rarely known in her life racked her body; gross ugly tears ran down her face. She had almost forgotten Iona was there, that she wasn't alone, until she spoke.

"What do you need, Jo?" Iona asked. Her voice was close to Jo's ear but Jo couldn't open her eyes to investigate where she might be.

What did she need? Why was Iona even asking? Didn't Iona always know what she needed? Jo was always sure of herself, always could take care of herself but in the dark emotional afterglow of the session she had no idea what could make this better but one thing. "Henry…I want Henry" Jo managed to beg through her chocking sobs. It was such a pitiful sound that she was almost glad Henry couldn't hear it. But not glad enough that she was happy he wasn't there. She was cold and lonely and miserable and this was supposed to be when she got comforted. Only Henry wasn't there…..

"I want Henry…" Jo moaned pitifully, wishing that by saying it she could make him appear. As she withered on the ground she felt her face come to press against skin and a hand placed on her head; when she opened blurry eyes she could see Iona sitting on the floor next to her, her face close to Iona's leg.

"Henry's not here" Iona said, running her hand through Jo's hair with the gentlest of touches. Her voice was calm and relaxed; the session was over but it didn't make the words easier to hear.

"I need him…"Jo said. Almost involuntarily her head leaned further to the side to lean into the touch of Iona's cool fingers against her mussed hair.

"What do you need?" Iona asked her softly, her fingers toying with the tangles in Jo's hair.

"I need Henry…to comfort me." Jo said as a huge shiver ran through her body.

"Comfort you how? What would Henry do if he was here?" Iona asked.

Why was she asking this? Jo's brain felt slow and muddled; it wouldn't work the way that she wanted it to. Iona should know, shouldn't she? She had seen them after plenty of sessions. In the beginning, she'd left them to privacy as they comforted each other; more often than not now Iona was a silent observer as they held each other and whispered assurances. So why was she even asking? "He'd hold me…..hug me…make me feel better. But he's not here. I'm alone" Jo muttered.

Jo couldn't remember a time where she felt more alone. She'd not had to hold her feelings for a long time; she had Henry. It was a harsh reality that brought her to this point when she felt she was alone in the world. It was an irrational train of thought but with all that had happened at work and the headspace that the session had put her in she couldn't help it.

"You're not alone" Iona whispered, her voice warm against Jo's ear as she brushed her hair.

The words were enough to make Jo open her eyes and sit up, looking at Iona. "What?" she asked, rubbing the tears out her eyes.

Iona leaned closer to Jo, brushing the hair out of Jo's face. Jo could see every fleck of color in her eyes, the intensity of her gaze as Iona held it and even just this was enough to make Jo feel infinitely better; she wasn't completely cut off anymore. "You have me, Jo. I'm right here…everything's okay" Iona assured her, running her hand from Jo's hair down to rest on her cheek.

Jo soaked up the words and the touch like water in a parched desert. Iona had wanted to be kind to her; Jo could distantly remember that from earlier in the evening before all of this pain and suffering. But Jo was scared; not only did she not know what that meant, she didn't feel deserving of it. She wasn't afraid that she didn't want it; she knew she did. But this was a session without Henry and none of this could possibly be real. He was what made it real.

Jo leaned into Iona's hand, a shudder of physical pain matching the emotional ache inside of her. "But, Henry-"Jo started. She was stopped as Iona pressed a finger to her lips.

"Henry has become special to me but he's not the only one" Iona said, intensity in her words. "It's not just about him; it's about you too. You think only he matters but you're very wrong."

Jo wasn't sure how her eyes could possibly produce any more tears but somehow they did. She wanted Iona's words to be true but they just couldn't be. She'd never managed to be the best at anything; most times she wasn't even adequate. She could hardly compare to Henry; today had showed her that. The mistakes that she had made would never have happened to Henry. And Jo knew for a fact that Iona had cared for Henry for much longer than they had had sessions. She could still recall the flush of jealously she had had when Iona had told her she'd kissed Henry. Though that seemed ages ago it didn't stop Jo from knowing with certainty that she didn't matter the way that Henry did.

"That's not true" Jo said, trying to reign in the fresh wave of tears. "I know you've always cared for Henry. You do all of this for him really…..I don't blame you."

A flush of anger seemed to cross Iona's face before she fixed Jo with such an intense look that Jo felt it down to her toes. Iona put her hands on either side of Jo's face, making her look at her. "I did all of this tonight for you Jo, just you" Iona said. "I know you're upset; I could see it on your face the moment I saw you. I wanted to take care of you tonight because of that; because I care about how you feel. But you wouldn't let me…I had to break you to get you to this point. In some ways you're even more stubborn than Henry is. To get you to see that despite all of my efforts to remain professional, you and Henry have managed to get to me. You did that Jo…..if it was left to Henry we'd never be here right now. It might seem I only care about Henry but that's only because he sees it and accepts it; he's desperate for affection and he lets himself be that way. It's there, Jo, you just don't see it because you don't let yourself see it. You don't let yourself be cared about because you don't think you deserve it but you're wrong. Despite all of that I still mean what I say when you're my good girl; my…good girl."

Jo should have fought it. She should have told Iona that she really didn't deserve any of it; she wanted to argue that her words couldn't possibly be true. But it was all too much because Jo could already see it was true. She could tell the emotion in Iona's voice and the glassiness of her eyes was not a façade; it was real. Despite the fact that Iona had no real reason to care about Jo she still did; even without Henry.

Jo was too desperate and lonely and broken to stop herself from going to Iona's embrace. She threw her arms around Iona's neck, feeling the tears make their persistent way out of her eyes. Iona put her arms around Jo in a tight hug and pulled her close quickly as if she was afraid Jo might change her mind and move away. Physically it was everything different than the way she clung to Henry after a session; the arms around her smaller than her own and without firm muscles, the sharp intake of breath at the touch instead of body racking sobs, the feel of smooth skin and lace against her face instead of an expensive suit. But in her heart it felt the same; protected, cared for and safe.

Jo's cries didn't subside until she felt completely spent; though she'd been sure that they had been done before but now she was positive that her body had no more tears to give. She perched awkwardly half on Iona's small lap, her face still pressed to the space over her heart comfortingly as she began to calm. It had been a habit of hers after a session with Henry to listen to his heartbeat; sometimes he seemed so reckless and careless of his own life that she liked to console herself with the proof that he was still alive. Strong, steady, uniform even after such strenuous a session was the proof that Henry was still alive. Iona's was quiet but quick and Jo couldn't fully hear it until she had calmed down.

Jo's eyes were fluttering shut almost claiming sleep when Iona fully spoke. "I didn't want to push you so hard. Are you okay?" she asked, brushing Jo's hair with her fingers.

Everything about it brought Jo to an awareness of something that was happening here. After such an intense session it was often hard to think; everything was based entirely in feeling. But though Jo felt she could just curl up here in a protected feeling and go to sleep, Iona's words brought a realization to her. Iona never mentioned or apologize for what she had done in a session. Jo and Henry trusted her fully and they had never been wrong in their trust of her. She never had to ask if they were okay because she always knew they were. But something of vulnerability and personal uncertainty crept into Iona's words as she spoke to Jo. She felt it was something she would not necessarily have voiced in front of Henry and most certainly had everything to do with finding herself at a place of uncertainty about how she felt about them.

Was she okay? Jo thought about it before she answered, wanting to give a true answer. Tonight's session was the most intense one she'd personally ever had; sessions with Henry were harder on him than her. The loss of control and the feelings of abandonment had been almost intolerable…..almost. Iona had stopped when it got too much for Jo just as she always had. And Jo could admit that she never would have let Iona comfort her in any kind of way if she hadn't come to feel so alone and needy.

"Yeah…..I'm okay. Everything's….good" Jo said sleepily. She curled closer into Iona the way she did Henry when it was late and she had decided to make him her pillow. But now that her emotional distress was less she could feel the physical pain; every time she moved she could feel her muscles cry out in protest and knew that some attention would have to be paid to them before she could sleep.

"I just wanted to be sure" Iona said quietly, her cool fingers running along Jo's forehead. "Now that I've got all of the stubborn out of you, time to take care of you."

"I'm not stubborn" Jo said tiredly. She only realized how she confirmed Iona's accusation when she heard her laugh

"Yes you are but most of the time that's a good thing. Except with me and Henry. Time to get up" Iona prodded her.

Jo didn't want to obey but like everything else she did; her entire body ached and burned as she pulled herself off of Iona and into a standing position. Her whole body shivered as it felt the full effect of shock now and she crossed her arms over her chest. She watched as Iona got off of the floor and walked back to where all of her tools were. Putting a robe on over her lingerie, Iona walked back over to Jo. Giving her a smile, she held out a hand. Jo felt nerves stirring in her stomach but she gladly took the outstretched hand. As much trust and courage as it took to let someone to beat you, it took even more to let someone care for you afterwards. It showed the deepest sense of vulnerability, one Jo was rarely okay with. But it was Iona; despite her stubbornness she did trust her.

Iona led Jo down a hallway off of the office, a place she hadn't been before. After unlocking a door and leading Jo inside it, Jo could see that it was Iona's personal quarters. The realization made Jo even more nervous; it was just another clue that showed how the patient/therapist line was effectively gone out the window at this point. Though Jo wanted to think about what that really meant for the three of them, Henry wasn't here and Jo's mental capabilities were not at the highest.

She followed Iona down the hallway to the bathroom. Jo felt at least some relief as Iona had her sit down on a chair by the large bathtub; if nothing else she did know that she wanted to get cleaned up. All of the sweat from earlier had dried on her skin and she could feel her skin swelling beneath her clothes. She was sure her face was the worst sight; a mixture of messed up make up and tears.

Jo felt her fatigue setting in as she watched Iona run the water and put bubbles into it. By the time that the water stopped running Jo was half way slumped over in her chair, tired and weak. She felt slightly envious of the massive tub; she thought with a smile how she could have utilized it if Henry were here. Since he wasn't, Jo steeled herself up to the task of taking a bath in her current state as Iona walked away from the tub.

Jo stood up and started to make her way toward the tub. She was halfway between saying "Thank you" when Iona walked over to her and began to undo the buttons on her shirt.

"Uh…what are you doing there?" Jo asked, her voice shrill and instantly on the offensive.

Iona gave her a knowing look, one that was just a little too amused. "Jo…..trust me" she chided her. When Iona said to trust her, really was there any other option? She'd never been wrong before.

Jo put her hands down, her heartbeat in her throat, letting Iona help her. Of all of the pain and hurt that Jo had willingly given control of to Iona, his was the hardest thing she had given her. To be this vulnerable, to let her help her….it was hardest kind of trust to give someone. Taking off your clothes, being naked was easy; she'd done that with countless people that didn't mean anything to her. But letting Iona do it for her and acknowledging that she trusted her to take full care of her was another matter entirely.

That wasn't to say that Jo wasn't still a little self conscious as Iona reached the last button of her shirt and slipped it off of her, leaving her in her bra. One couldn't have seen Iona and how flawless she was physically and not compare themselves at least to her in some small way and feel inadequate.

"Relax, Jo" Iona reminded her, rubbing her hands along Jo's bare arms comfortingly. Jo let out a sigh of breath, only then having realized that she had been holding it as Iona helped her out of her jeans. Jo was glad for Iona's swiftness at removing her underclothes; it left her less time to panic about it.

"Do you blush this much around Henry?" Iona remarked with a grin as she helped Jo into the tub.

With such a sigh Jo was a little embarrassed at herself, she sunk deep into the warm water, glad for the cover of the bubbles. "Who says Henry has seen me like this?" Jo asked more brazenly than she felt. Her cheeks felt hot and she was fooling no one. As long as it had been since she'd had anyone to do anything close to have 'girl talk' with, she wasn't prepared yet to talk about that without Henry here. Even now, she was feeling keenly the remorse that it was wrong being here without him.

"He'll understand you know…..you're not doing anything wrong" Iona remarked as if she had read her mind.

"I hope you're right" Jo commented, closing her eyes and relaxing in the water. She felt water being poured onto her hair, running over her shoulders and down her injured back with a sting.

"You ought to give Henry more credit. He's extremely understanding; I doubt you could throw him if you tried." Iona commented.

Jo was just about to comment that Iona hadn't really seen Henry properly angry (which he could certainly manage) but was effectively stopped as Iona put soap into her hair and began to massage it in. She tried to stop herself from letting out a sigh but it was impossible; it was simply wrong that anything should feel so indecently good. She had a few distant memories of shared showers with Sean where he had washed her hair but she had forgotten truly how relaxing it was and how good it felt. She leaned into each push and scratch of Iona's hands against her scalp, soaking in the attention. There was still the nagging sensation that she didn't deserve this kind of treatment but she pushed that out of her mind to simply enjoy the experience.

Jo had to keep herself from showing her disappointment when she felt Iona's hands leave her hair and water begin to run through it, rinsing out the bubbles; she could have gladly done that all night. As she pushed her wet hair out of her face and rubbed the water away, she saw Iona grabbing a sponge and putting soap on it. She reached around toward Jo's back to clean her wounds and Jo felt herself tense and let out a hiss of breath before she had even been touched.

"Promise I'll be gentle" Iona assured her before putting the sponge to her skin. Jo made herself relax as Iona began to rub the soap along her back. The welts did hurt but Iona couldn't have been gentler; they were just the kind of wounds that Jo would feel for days in the smallest touch of her clothing so it was only natural that they hurt now.

Iona laid the sponge back in the water and stood up from her place by the tub. "You can finish up in the tub and I'll go get you something to wear" Iona said. Jo watched her walk to the door of the bathroom before turning around and pointing a finger at Jo. "And you better be fully relaxed in here when I come back" she chided playfully before shutting the door behind her.

Jo had to smile a bit at the thought; Iona always knew. Jo retrieved the sponge from the water and finished cleaning up, glad that Iona had left her alone to do the more intimate cleaning herself. When she finished she tried leaning back against the tub but it was too painful on her back so she just settled for sitting down further in the water. It occurred to her then that if Iona was getting her clothes to wear then she intended her to spend the night. Though it should have sent a shudder of anxiety through her all she felt was relief. She couldn't fathom the thought of going home to her empty house after all that had happened. Every time that she and Henry had a session it ended with the two of them asleep cuddled against each other. It was hard enough to think that she wouldn't be lulled to sleep by the sound of Henry's heart; to picture herself sleeping in her quiet house aching from the night's session wasn't a pleasant though. Though the sessions did put her mind to ease it also made her vulnerable and needing human connection.

Iona burst back into the bathroom minutes later, startling Jo out of her thoughts. Jo sunk back into the precarious cover of the bubbles as Iona walked back over to her even though it hardly mattered. She found herself suddenly oddly curious about the fact that Iona was dressed in pajamas. Not lingerie, not a skimpy nightgown but actual pajamas; it felt so normal. Jo didn't know why it felt more personal than all of the numerous kinds of lingerie she had seen her wear but it did.

"Out of the tub" Iona ordered her in a gentle voice as she held out a towel.

Jo felt her face flush again, even more embarrassed this time because she knew Iona picked up on the smallest change. Jo was tired and even if she wasn't, she knew she wouldn't have argued with her; she got out of the tub as quickly as her aching muscles would permit. She dried off and dressed fast, ignoring the protests of her skin and muscles. Now that she was out of the water she realized just how completely exhausted she was and nothing sounded better than to go to sleep. She was so tired that it didn't even feel weird to let Iona take her hand and lead her out of the room.

Jo's eyes were drooping as Iona pulled her into the bedroom. Jo wanted to protest, to insist that she sleep on the couch and not take her bed but she was too tired and the pulled back covers looked too enticing for Jo to resist; it took all Jo had not to completely collapse on the bed. The silky feel of the sheets was cool against Jo's skin and helped it not feel as feverish as she felt herself already beginning to nod off. Jo was surprised when she felt the bed dip under her; she cracked an eye briefly to see Iona sit down next to her before she felt her hand softly on her forehead. Iona brushed the hair back out of her face before letting her hand travel back toward Jo's back where she rubbed small circles as gently as could. Of all of the whipping and bondage that she had suffered at Iona's hands, this seemed the most intimate. Jo suddenly felt a stab of guilt that Henry wasn't here and even more guilt that she hadn't really worried about much until this moment. She was quite sure that Henry wouldn't have come to see Iona without her. He had when they had first had met Iona but that was before they had sessions together. He'd never leave her out now.

"You think Henry will be upset?" Jo asked, sighing quietly to herself as Iona rubbed her back. She was glad her eyes were too tired to open because she was afraid that she might see confirmation in Iona's eyes.

"That we left him out?" Iona asked. "No….he wouldn't see it that way. He'd understand."

Jo nodded against the pillow; Iona was right. Henry was one of the most, if not the most, understanding person that she had ever met.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Iona asked after a quiet pause in the conversation. Again, it seemed so strangely personal for her to ask. Iona as a professional didn't ask, she demanded. Iona asking her anything meant this was on a personal level.

Jo shook her head after thinking about it a moment. The day had been horrible, terrible and it had served to make her dwell on the worst things that she thought about herself and drown in her own guilt. But Iona made that better; she made Jo feel that just maybe she wasn't as bad as she thought she was. "No…..it's okay. This makes it all better" Jo said honestly. Iona didn't press her to talk and Jo was grateful. She drifted off to sleep shortly later, feeling the comforting hand against her whipped back, her conscious freed from the grief of the day.

…

Jo always slept fantastic after a session with Iona. Freed from the guilt, sadness and troubles that had caused her to seek out Iona's help, her mind was free to finally shut down and seek sleep. She never dreamed and she usually fell asleep with in minuets of lying down in bed, sleeping soundly until morning. This night was much the same; her sleep was wonderful until it was interrupted by something outside her own peaceful mind that made her wake.

It was dark in the room when she opened her eyes, the window not even showing the smallest sliver of sunlight yet that would announce morning. When Jo stretched out in bed and felt unfamiliar sheets and the pang of her sore body she was reminded about the evening and what had happened. She felt only peace at the memory; the roughness and extremity of the session followed by gentler care than she could remember having had in a long time. Jo would have drifted right back off to sleep except for when she rolled over she felt a soft warm body lying next to her. Jo's tired eyes opened in the darkness and saw Iona's outline in the bed next to her, her back to Jo. Suddenly more conscious of stretching and hitting her, Jo scooted further over to her own side even though something inside of her wanted nothing more than to move closer to her.

Jo was debating whether she could get away with curling up close to Iona without waking her and then making herself forget that she did so in the morning when she heard a small sound in the darkness that made her stop. It was the smallest whisper of a whimper and then a sniffle. Jo's drowsy senses woke up at the sound and the realization of what it meant. She could see now the slight movement of Iona's shoulders in the darkness and it made her lose whatever self-control she had left.

It was strange enough to find herself sleeping next to Iona; before this night such a thing would have been unheard of. But what was stranger and infinitely more personal was that Iona was in the bed next to her crying. Jo's mind woke up and ran through her options. She could ask Iona what was wrong; it was only fair after all she'd done for Jo that evening. But would Iona even appreciate that? Someone that cried alone in the middle of the night quietly was someone that didn't want to be confronted about their problems. But then again, Jo knew that no one ever really cried and didn't want comfort.

Taking a leaf from Iona's book, Jo moved closer in the bed next to Iona. Jo hadn't even really said anything at all about the day's events and what had really prompted this evening's session in the first place; she had gained all the comfort she needed from Iona's gentle touches and actions after the session and she could only hope and assume that Iona could feel something similar.

Jo scooted up to Iona until her chest was against Iona's back, putting her arms around her and pulling her close. She could feel Iona tense up immediately, the sound of her crying, soft as it was, stopping as soon as Jo touched her. Worrying that she might have made things uncomfortable or done something that Iona didn't want, Jo started to back away; all of this was so new and she didn't know what to do, making things awkward. But before she could move away from Iona, she felt her lay her head on one of Jo's arms, grabbing onto her other one with her hands. Jo could feel Iona relax against her, falling back into her chest just the way that Jo did when Henry held her like this; Iona relaxing was enough to convince Jo that she could relax too.

Jo thought about asking Iona if she wanted to talk but ultimately she didn't end up doing it. Iona, being who she was, wouldn't spill her secrets easily. Even if she did, didn't she always insist that her brand of therapy was really about one thing? Human connection…..that's what it always came down to. So, instead of talking, Jo just pressed her face into the blonde curtain of Iona's hair and pulled her closer in the darkness until the sniffling stopped and they both drifted off to sleep.

…..

When Jo awoke the next morning she was instantly aware of the stinging burn on her back and the aching of her muscles as she stretched out. Her arms reached out across the bed, stiff and sore but she didn't feel anyone next to her. When she opened her eyes to see bright morning sunlight drifting through the delicate curtains she found that she was alone.

In the morning light, it was easy to think that last night might have not really happened. Jo lay back on the bed and tried to catalog her thoughts on what had happened the previous night. She couldn't ignore the pain and ache that told her that she had given in to Iona's plea to let her help Jo after all stress and pain of the day before. Not only had she not put up much of a fight she'd given in rather easily. Deep down she had wanted someone to care and comfort her. When she had come here with Iona she had honestly believed that Henry was the only ally she had. Some part of her logical mind told her that she shouldn't believe what Iona said about caring about her; it was all part of the therapy right? But then she thought about how she held her, helped her wash up and then put her to bed; all of that felt real. Iona's words echoed through Jo's mind from last night; "Despite all of my efforts to remain professional, you and Henry have managed to get to me." Iona was a professional and she was good at what she did but somewhere along the line, it had stopped being only professional to her. When had it stopped being just professional for Henry? What about for Jo? Inside Jo knew that it had all ceased being completely professional a long time ago; likely, it had started off being at least a little personal.

Not knowing what to expect but ready to face the day, Jo pushed herself out of the bed. She walked out of the bed and down the hallway, hearing the sound of the television in the living room. When Jo got to the entrance way of the living room she could see Iona sitting on the couch, legs pulled up, curled up comfortably watching television. It seemed so domestic, so normal…..Jo had to keep reminding herself that Iona was just a normal person. She'd seen only her professional persona for so long it was easy to forget that she was more than that.

"Are you just going to stay in the shadows all morning or what?" Iona's amused tone broke Jo out of her musings.

Jo saw Iona scoot over on the couch to make room for her and Jo took the offered seat. Jo looked at her, trying to find some sign of the distress that had been apparent last night but she looked fine. With a sad realization, Jo wondered how often Iona had someone to just hold her like she had last night. She was always the strong dominatrix; did she ever get to be weak? Jo suddenly felt she had witnessed a part of her that she didn't show to many, if any, people.

"Feeling a bit uncomfortable?" Iona asked with a sly smile as Jo shifted around trying to get a comfortable spot on the couch.

"Only when I move" Jo admitted, trying not to smile but finding it impossible. She leaned back as far as she could on the couch and grinned when she saw what Iona was watching. "You've got good taste in movies" She commented, gesturing toward Pride and Prejudice on the TV.

Iona grinned as she glanced at Jo out of the corner of her eye. "I admit that I've always had a soft spot for Mr. Darcy" she said slyly.

Jo laughed. "Doesn't every one?" she asked. "Though, I have to admit that it surprises me a bit from you, Iona"

A moment passed before Iona spoke again. "You can call me Molly, you know" she said.

It was something simple on the outside but Jo knew it wasn't that simple deep down. It was the opportunity to see her for she really was and it was an option that she had never been given. "Really?" Jo asked, still surprised at this strange feeling of changing roles.

Iona grinned. "You can call me Molly when I don't have you in chains" she said and Jo had to laugh a bit. It only seemed fair.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Henry, Jo and Molly grow closer in their personal relationship, Molly feels comfortable enough to do something with them that she's never done; willingly giving up her control. Molly lets Henry and Jo dominate her but she is surprised at how she feels about the exprience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: This chapter briefly mentions past child abuse/physical abuse

"I'm sure you can do your usual magic but you've got your work cut out for you" Lucas commented, his nose turned up as he pulled back the zipper of the body bag to reveal corpse inside. The smell and the sight of thoroughly congealed flesh Lucas pale slightly. "This guy is more soup than body anymore…gross"

Henry grinned at Lucas' uncomfortableness. "You don't fancy a challenge, Lucas?" he teased him. Henry has to admit the smell was overwhelming. The body had been left for days in the hot New York heat and it was obvious that heat wasn't the only threat the poor soul had faced after death. Insects and animals had also laid their claim as well.

"I don't mind a challenge" Lucas countered, trying to puff himself out a bit even though he looked green; eager to please. "I just prefer a body to….you know…..look ….like a body."

"You're not highly fascinated in the decomposition of the human body?" Henry asked him pleasantly. He was in a good mood and he couldn't resist the opportunity to tease Lucas. "You know, I worked on a body farm for a few weeks between jobs once. Just imagine; dozens of bodies like this in various states of decomposition just lying there for you to study. It was fascinating"

Lucas looked like he might just fall over. "You know, death doesn't bother me, Henry. But you are a little odd sometimes, you know that?" he asked.

"He's fully aware of it; he likes being weird." Lucas turned around as Jo came into the morgue behind him. She stopped when she got close enough to smell the body, she drew back slightly. "Wow…that's….."Jo started but Henry finished for her.

"Horrible? Yes, it is" Henry said cheerily.

Jo rolled her eyes slightly like she did when Henry became too much to take. "Do you still have the tox report on the Smith case?" she asked, dodging the happy comment.

"Yes, it's in my office. I'll go get it for you" Henry said.

"I'll come with you" Jo said, casting a sickly look at the toxic body and Lucas who was starting to gain some of his color back as he examined the body with one hand, the other firmly pressed against his nose.

Henry and Jo had turned to walked toward Henry's office when they heard another voice behind them. "I'll come with you too"

Henry felt a smile already turning his lips as she turned around to see Molly's sunny face grinning at them from a few feet away. It was an unexpected but not at all unpleasant surprise to see her here. Henry could see Jo trying to suppress a grin beside him.

"Perhaps my professional opinion might be of some use" Molly said, smiling wickedly at them. She glanced at Lucas who was watching the three with an expression of such curiosity that he looked to be in pain.

"It always is extremely valuable" Henry said cheekily. He began to set off toward his office, followed shortly by Jo and Molly. Henry sat down at his desk as Jo and Molly took the seats on the opposite side; Henry had to laugh to himself when he saw Lucas watching them rapt attention, his face fully back to color now. When Henry waved at him, Lucas knocked over a whole tray of instruments trying to look like he wasn't paying attention to them.

"So…..to what do we owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit?" Henry asked.

"I was in the neighborhood and thought why shouldn't I just stop in to visit my favorite medical examiner and detective?" Molly said causally as she sat back in the chair, glancing between Henry and Jo.

Jo, always the one to want to appear above Molly's charm said, "I suppose you just walked in here casually? No one tried to stop you?"

Molly grinned at her. "Of course not" she said, "Don't I usually get what I want?"

"And I suppose what you want today is to interrupt us in the middle of work?" Jo asked. She was trying to act like she wasn't pleased that Molly was here but she wasn't fooling Molly or Henry.

"What I want is for you to call it the weekend and go have dinner with me" Molly said as if it was a mere suggestion and not certainly what they would be doing.

The past few weeks had been a complete blur of happy contentment for Henry. As much as he'd been satisfied that he and Jo were happily in a relationship and that they had Molly's professional assistance in helping them through their problems through her unique breed of therapy that served to make him feel truly alive, all of this had been multiplied in the past few weeks. When he'd went out of town with Abe to collect a large sum of antiques from one of Abe's contacts, he'd come back to find the entire parameters of their professional relationship changed. Initially, Henry had been a bit hurt that Jo had gone to Molly without him. That wasn't because he didn't understand Jo's need for Molly's services; really he was unconvinced that things were as innocent as Jo told them to be. Jo and Molly's interactions with each other were so changed that he was convinced that some life shattering revelations had to have occurred in his absence. But his bad feelings on the matter did last long; they were both so happy that Henry couldn't be upset.

Things weren't just different between Molly and Jo but between all three of them. Though none of them had made the distinction expressly, Iona was their therapist that bound them and whipped them until they gave into the emotions that they held back any other way; Molly was quickly becoming something else to them personally. Their friend? Henry couldn't place a word on what she was to them outside of her office. They'd been going out to dinner or out for drinks at Molly's requests and her manner seemed almost flirtatious at times. It wasn't in a way that seemed wrong or warranting of jealousy. She complimented Henry's new scarf, held his hand under the table under dinner and gave him a peck on the cheek at the end of the night but at the same time she'd send flowers to Jo's desk at work (much to her surprise and fake annoyance), loop her arm around Jo's as they walked down the street and order her food and drinks each time they went out because she 'knew exactly what Jo wanted'. It was almost like they were being courted and Henry was the last person who could argue against such attentions.

"Well, we are working" Jo said, crossing her arms over her chest as she tried to be tough even though Henry could already tell she was going to give in. "That usually what happens when you come to someone's workplace. We might go out in a few hours when we are done."

Molly just smiled as she got out of her chair and came to stand behind Jo. "That's so funny that you think that you have a choice" Molly teased her, putting her hands on Jo's shoulders and leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"I hate you, you know?" Jo mumbled even though she was grinning.

"I know, now come on" Molly said, gesturing to her and Henry.

Really, there was no argument; as much as Henry enjoyed his work with the corpses it paled in comparison to having the option of having dinner with two beautiful women who knew him better than anyone else and still wanted to have him.

Henry and Jo rose to join Molly who took their hands standing in middle as they exited the morgue.

"I'm popping out early, Lucas. Hold down things here, will you?" Henry said pleasantly as they passed Lucas who had just picked up all of the instruments on the floor. Seeing the three of them walk past him, he upset the tray again, spilling the items.

"Uh…y-yes…yes of course. S-sure" Lucas said nervously, watching the trio exit the morgue. As they reached the door, Henry could hear poor Lucas worrying over the decomposed body that was now his alone to autopsy but he pretended that he couldn't.

….

A couple of hours later Henry was basking in the happy glow of a full stomach, slight intoxication and the pleasant company of Jo and Molly. He could see the rosy color of their cheeks that matched his own and knew that they were feeling just as relaxed as he was. The hand holding and foot nudging under the table was increasing as well as the jokes; Henry didn't even care that Molly and Jo made all of their jokes at his expense. He was happy and as always doing as Molly had asked was worth it.

The restaurant was getting ready to close and the waiter had been very persistent with laying their bill on the table when Molly surprised Henry. "So, you two are coming over to my place, right?"

It took quite a lot to surprise Henry these days and he felt his cheeks redden slightly. "Sure….you are inviting us over for some drinks, I take it?" he asked. His voice gave an uncharacteristic crack in his words at the nervousness. He was nervous at the implication and he was glad that Jo shared his anxiety; he could see her tense slightly at the suggestion, the one they knew Molly had been hinting at for two weeks now.

Molly grinned. "No, silly" she said in a light tone that didn't match Henry's growing anxiety. "I'm inviting you over for the very reason that your hand is beginning to shake and Jo's face is turning pale. Honestly, I don't know what you're so nervous about. You'd think that you two would be eager to not be on the receiving end for once."

Henry felt nerves twist in his belly and grabbed his cognac for support. Molly wanted a role reversal; she wanted Henry and Jo to be the ones to tie her up for a change. Henry was flattered for the offer, he really was; just the fact that she asked meant a lot as to the state of their relationship. Molly was dominate all the way; the fact that she wanted to put herself in a position of submission to Henry and Jo spoke of ultimate trust. But neither one of them was sure they were ready for the responsibility and had been avoiding her offer. Henry had never hit a woman and he didn't exactly want to start now. Molly had asked him over the course of their therapy together how he'd feel about dominating Jo and the answer had always been a resounding no. He couldn't imagine whipping Jo while she was tied up and defenseless, even if she wanted that. Perhaps it was his old fashioned gentlenmen hardwiring but he just couldn't do it and even though Molly was not in the least bit fragile, he still couldn't fathom hitting her. The only reason he was even considering it was because she wanted it so badly and after all she'd done for him and Jo it hardly seemed fair to deny her.

"It's not that we don't want to help you out….."Jo started anxiously when Henry failed to speak. "It's just that we don't really have the experience like you do and…we…."

"We wouldn't be anything like you in the same situation" Henry supplied when Jo got stuck, "You've been doing this for years and we…..well…we haven't."

Despite their collective efforts to get out of it, Henry and Jo were doomed. Molly reached across the table, taking one of their hands in each of her own. Her face had lost all of its jesting and her eyes were sad and intense as she studied them across the table.

"That's okay…I trust you" Molly said with such openness and trust that Henry knew this was one argument that they were not about to win.

…..

Despite everything Molly had done to prevent it, somehow Henry Morgan and Jo Martinez had managed to steal her heart. After the mistakes she had made, Molly was careful not to get involved with another patient. But being careful hadn't always been enough. She'd had feelings for Henry nearly since she'd met him. She wasn't interested in him being a patient; she wanted more than that with him. But after Jo had sought out her help to reach out to Henry, they had become her patients. Molly had steered clear of any personal feelings and for a while the growing affection that she had come to feel for Henry fizzled out. But only for a time…

It was nothing that Henry or Jo had done on purpose and nothing that Molly had encouraged. Those were always the ones that you felt the deepest and hardest; the love that snuck up on you. It didn't happen all at once but in a million little moments that accumulated and made Molly see that she was completely and totally lost. It started slow and then rushed fast; by the time she realized what was happening she was far too gone to do anything about it. She found herself thinking about them when they weren't there. She would find herself sitting there and just staring off into space thinking about what Henry and Jo might be doing; she worried that they were okay when she wasn't around. When they did come to her, she found that she couldn't remove herself from their upsets; what hurt them genuinely hurt her. She began to notice things she never should have in a professional setting; how she made excuses to touch Henry's face when he had particularly thick stubble, the smell of the perfume Jo wore only when she was dressed up, the new scarf Henry wore, the bags under Jo's eyes that made Molly worry she wasn't sleeping, how hot Henry's skin was when she put cuffs on him contrasted with Jo's cool skin. Stupid, seemingly insignificant things like these stuck in her mind and even still she didn't see it for what it was.

It wasn't until she realized how much of an outsider she was that she was confronted with how much that bothered her. Obviously, she knew that Henry and Jo were together; she'd smiled to herself as she noticed the change in them over time. They'd started out just as friends and then had progressed to more. She was happy for them, genuinely happy for them. That was always her aim; to help them get closer to each other and she was glad she had succeeded. After each session they comforted each other in tears and whispered words, in hugs and shy kisses. She had always known this but it wasn't until she saw it for herself that she felt that betrayal of jealously in herself.

After a particularly intense session, she had left Henry and Jo to seek comfort with each other in private. When they were still in the same place a great deal of time later, she had gone to check on them and felt herself freeze in the doorway. Henry was still on the floor where he'd fallen after the session, Jo sitting on his lap with her legs wrapped around his waist as he held onto her tight. She watched as they kissed long, hard, slow kisses, pulling back to look into each other's eyes. Henry would reach his hand up to stroke Jo's hair as they locked gazes before kissing again.

The sinking feeling in her stomach, the sensation of being punched and the prickle of tears made Molly see it for what it was; jealously. It wasn't that she was jealous that they had each other; the love and affection that she saw them exchange was pure and she was thankful that they had each other. Henry and Jo were both very guarded people that shared their true selves with very few people. The fact that they had each other was great; she just felt left out. She didn't want them to stop being close; she just wanted to be a part of the process. She enjoyed dominating them, breaking them to get them to open up about their feelings; she just wanted to be part of the comfort too.

Once she felt that first nag of longing, it was impossible not to feel it. She didn't desire them; that would have been so much easier. It would have been easy if she simply wanted a night of passion with them; she could have convinced them into it easily enough she felt. But that wasn't what she wanted. Sure she occasionally gave in to thoughts about arms around her and lips on hers. But what really got her was the end of tough days, days where she went to bed tired and sad and more than anything wanting someone that would hold her and whisper words that would make it better.

It wasn't easy to admit to Jo how her feelings had changed. When she had convinced Jo to have a session with her the day she'd been so distraught and Henry hadn't been around, she'd been able to tell Jo, in a small measure, how she and Henry were no longer just patients to her. The tender affections that she'd been able to lavish on Jo warmed her heart; Jo honestly believed that she didn't care for her and she'd been glad to show her that she did. But something about it all had inspired sadness in her as she lay in bed that night, lying beside Jo but unable to hold her the way she wanted. She was sure that Jo would take it the wrong way if she had pulled her close, holding her tightly. She surely hadn't wanted to scare her off; she just wanted to feel her warmth, hear her heartbeat. So, like an idiot, she'd ended up crying in bed in the darkness because she felt so lonely. She'd tried to put it out of her mind when Jo had surprised her; waking up and realizing she was crying, Jo had held her until she went to sleep. With arms wrapped around her, safe heat around her, Molly had finally felt safe and protected. She loved the strong, dominate persona that she projected to the world but it had been so long since she had felt someone protect her and it was perfect.

Finally freed from the idea that she was merely the therapist, Molly had been able to get closer to Henry and Jo. She could tell that the change surprised them; the dates, the gifts, the hand holding, hugs. They weren't used to the attention but she could tell they both enjoyed it. When she had asked them to dominate her, let her be the one in chains while they beat her, they hadn't wanted to. They were sure that they didn't know what to do and were shy about trying it. She simply kept trying to encourage them; the idea that she could give up her control for a change was both terrifying and exhilarating. She was afraid of the idea of giving up control; she'd never been in the position of being dominated and really she had never desired it. But it was exciting too; she'd never had anyone that she trusted enough to ask to dominate her. She wanted Henry and Jo to be her first.

With trepidation they made their way from the restaurant to her office. She was glad that Henry and Jo had finally given in to her pleas; she could see the nerves in the way they wrenched their hands together and chuckled nervously at the slightest joke. She assured them that it didn't have to be perfect; she didn't tell them that no matter what it would never be perfect the first time. But it would be wonderful in its own way. Molly had given her share of pain and pleasure to others and she was sure that she could take a great deal of pain herself. She imagined that she'd enjoy it even; she felt nervous excitement run through her at the prospect. She'd enjoy the pain and once it was over she would have the freedom to fully allow herself to be comforted by Henry and Jo.

When they got back to her office, Molly could see the way Henry and Jo hung by the door, exchanging nervous glances. Molly tried to suppress her smile; it was actually kind of cute how nervous they were about this. They'd already given her the power to destroy them so many times but once given the power themselves they didn't know what to do with it.

Molly walked over to them, a warm smile on her face. "I am going to slip into the restroom for a moment" she said, giving Henry a grin as she tugged playfully on his scarf before moving to Jo "When I come back, I'm all yours" She gave Jo's collar a similar tug, smiling at the embarrassed grin Jo gave her before retreating out of the room.

….

"So…are we really sure about this?" Jo asked, giving Henry a significant look as soon as Molly had left the room. She walked closer to him, putting her arms around him; he could see her bite her lip nervously as she looked at him for response.

Henry's healthy buzz from dinner was waning and giving into nerves. He put his arms around Jo as he spoke. "This is what Molly wants; we can hardly say no" Henry said. Even so, he felt his stomach twist into knots at the thought of hurting her. What if they did it wrong? What if they didn't know when to stop? They obviously had discussed safe words and limits beforehand but knowing Molly he wasn't sure she'd use it if she needed to. Henry didn't feel he should say any of this to Jo.

"We could " Jo said, even though she looked resigned to it.

Henry gave her a grin. "Do you mean to tell me that you're not the least bit intrigued with the idea that you get to hit her?" he asked. He was sure that there was a time that Jo would have jumped at the opportunity to have Molly at her mercy but that had been a long time ago.

Jo hit him playfully in the chest. "Henry Morgan, I resent that" she said "You make it sound like I want to hurt her."

"I was just implying that perhaps recalling some old resentments might make it easier for you to give her what she feels she deserves" Henry said delicately.

Jo raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Well, even so I don't want you to turn into a wuss when we start and expect me to do it all" she teased him.

"A wuss?" Henry asked, overly offended. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Jo gave Henry a light peck on the lips, smiling at him. "It means you're a gentleman and I know you don't want to hurt her. And it's a good thing" she said. She moved back, bouncing slightly on her feet in nerves. "Well, I suppose that we better go figure out how we are going to do this" she said, indicating the direction of Molly's tools.

Henry took a long, steadying breath. "Yes, I suppose we should" he said, heading in the same direction.

…..

Molly could hear the mumble of Henry and Jo talking to each other in the other room and she tried to still her nerves. She splashed water on her face and dried it off, looking at herself in the mirror as she smoothed her hair back. She looked pale and her hands were shaking slightly. Feeling ridiculous, she clenched her hands together to keep them still. What was she feeling so nervous about? This was exactly what she wanted; she had asked for this. And it wasn't like it was going to be on the same level as the therapy sessions that she gave others. They were inexperienced and they wouldn't hurt her like she hurt them; they wouldn't demand her to spill her secrets. She hadn't come to them wanting release so they wouldn't ask her to share anything. And really, that was scariest part of any session; it wasn't the pain but the emotional breakdown. She could avoid that entirely and go straight to the comfort at the end which was what she really wanted.

Feeling much better with this realization, Molly composed herself and walked out of the bathroom and back into her office. Excitement propelled her forward until she saw Henry and Jo standing by her table of whips and other instruments. Jo had her arms over her chest, crop in hand, scowling at her while Henry held her gaze as he deliberately undid the button on his sleeve cuff and rolled them up to his elbows. Molly felt a buzz of excitement run through her; they definitely looked more the part now. Her innocent submissives actually looked a bit dangerous. Maybe they had learned something of domination from her.

Molly stood still as they surveyed her, excitement bubbling in her chest as she wondered what they might have planned for her. Henry was the first to move; he finished rolling up his sleeves and walked over to face her. His eyes were dark, so unlike him that Molly felt a curious warmth spread through her. Henry was a submissive through and through so she was surprised to see the command in his expression.

"Oh, look at those guns, Henry" Molly said, reaching out to rub along Henry's strong, bare arms. She was unaccustomed to waiting for someone else to speak and it was a habit of hers to fall back on her confident façade when she was feeling unsure as she was now.

Henry didn't say anything, just looked at her intensely. She was so focused on looking at Henry she didn't see Jo walk up to her. She felt a smack on her hand from the riding crop. It was barely a hit and it didn't hurt that bad; it was just so unexpected it hurt worse. Molly drew her hand back from Henry's arms. "You don't touch, him or me. We touch you" Jo said, her voice hard and commanding. "And you will address him as Sir"

Molly had a hard time not smiling; it was such a curious feeling, this being talked down to by the ones she usually commanded. It was a bit hard to take it seriously but her nerves were piqued, curious. She resisted the urge to touch Henry again just to see what Jo would do; it was obvious she was going to be the commander in this scene. While Molly never doubted Henry had a damaged, small soul she was just as sure that Jo could go either way. She had her moments of submission but she had the potential for domination. It was what had originally made her think she could ask them of this.

Molly turned and looked Jo up and down. "And what do I call you?" she asked with a smile.

She could see the flame in Jo's eyes at Molly's reluctance to submit. "You will address me as Miss. And you will only speak when I ask you to" she said firmly.

"What happens if don't listen?" Molly couldn't help but ask. She expected a rebuttal; she would have been disappointed if Jo didn't give her one. But that didn't mean she expected exactly what she did.

Jo grabbed her by the ear and twisted; hard. Molly hated that it made her fall down to one knee but she couldn't help it. It shouldn't have surprised her; Jo surely had several tricks up her sleeve for inflicting pain as woman cop needing to prove herself in the world. Pain shot through her ear and when she looked up at Jo, she felt a scowl on her face.

"You don't listen and you'll be punished" Jo said severely. She grabbed Molly's face with her free hand, the other still firm on her ear. "And if you don't shut up, I'll have to muzzle you"

Molly scowled harder as Jo's lips twitched in a small smile. She was sure after using a gag on Jo in the session they shared alone she'd love nothing more than to be given reason to use one on Molly. While she admired Jo's vindictive spirit, she didn't want to give her the pleasure of using it on her. She remained silent, hard as it was.

"Do you understand?" Jo prompted her when she didn't answer.

"Yes" Molly said reluctantly, glaring at Jo.

"Yes, what?" Jo pushed.

Molly had to resist the urge to snap back and say any number of colorful words she had in mind for Jo. As much as she cared about Jo and enjoyed doting on her like a precious pet, she was fun to spare with too. Molly gave one glance at Henry, as if begging him to say something. She was met with his dark, brooding glare and decided no help was coming from him.

"Yes, Miss" Molly said, biting back the sensation of submission that it brought. Jo released her ear and she picked herself off of the ground, her knee aching from the fall. She watched Henry and Jo walk over to the harness and handcuffs. Henry turned around and motioned her over. "Come here" he said. His voice was deeper and more commanding than usual. Molly walked slowly over them, feeling her nerves increased as he watched Henry pull the handcuffs down. It was ridiculous…why was she scared? She could take pain, it shouldn't frighten her. And she wasn't afraid; not of the whips and cattle prods. But for some reason the idea of being bound did scare her. Molly swallowed hard, intent on not letting any anxiety show. As Henry grabbed one of her arms and handcuffed it, she felt her pulse quicken and her mouth grow dry.

"Is the bondage really necessary? I'm a rather whiling participate" Molly said in a seductive tone, reaching out with her free hand and running it along Henry's chest. She knew it would get her in trouble but her apprehension was increasing and it was her only defense.

Jo smacked her with the crop on her backside; it was so unexpected that her mouth fell open as she flinched away from the hit. She had expected to be hit but being spanked? It was demeaning and, Molly felt, unnecessary. The humiliation of it made her throat simultaneously tight and her belly warm.

"You do not speak, you do not touch. What part of that is so hard to understand?" Jo asked Molly, narrowing her eyes at her.

Before Molly could even have the chance to answer, Jo had smacked her again. Molly felt a prickle in her eyes; was this really necessary? She glanced at Henry who smiled slightly at the admonishment. Molly felt…..embarrassed. It was ridiculous that she should be so affected but it definitely served to make her feel herself fall a few pegs. She looked down but she instantly felt the touch of the crop on her chin.

"Look at us" Jo commanded. Molly compiled, looking up at Jo.

"Are the rules unclear to you?" Jo asked.

Molly didn't want to answer but she didn't relish being spanked again either. "No, Miss" Molly said.

Henry grabbed her free wrist roughly, clasping the handcuff around it. He pulled the chain up and her arms were pulled into stress pose. Molly could feel her heartbeat in her throat, sweat immediately gathering along her body. Her breath caught in her throat and she resisted the sudden urge to panic. She was unused to being confined. She reminded herself how demeaning she already felt and used that embarrassment to channel her cockiness. Despite the fact that she was tied up she still asserted that she had the upper hand. She planned this, she had taught them, and she was still in control. Thinking off all of that took the edge off of her panic and realized that this situation was still manageable. This was supposed to be, and still would be, enjoyable.

"Tell me the safe word" Jo said, standing in front of Molly and running the crop along her chest in a taunting fashion.

Molly felt a smile spread across her face; she fixed Jo with a haughty expression. "I don't believe a safe word will be necessary, Miss" Molly said in a sassy voice. It gave her great pleasure to appear to have it all together.

Molly was expecting Jo to spank her again, almost relishing the idea of it coming. She wasn't expecting Jo to hand the crop to Henry. And she definitely didn't expect Henry to hit her so hard. The crop hit her hard on the back and she twitched at it; it hurt more than she expected and her smile fell off her face. When she opened her eyes she saw Henry looking at her with a loathing; it hurt her much more than when Jo had hit her.

"You will tell Miss the safe word. It might be necessary during the session." Henry commanded.

Molly couldn't fathom that she would need a safe word; Henry and Jo had never needed one. But she could see that they were not going to continue unless she said it. "Apple, Sir" Molly said reluctantly.

"And you will use it if necessary?" Henry asked.

Molly huffed a breath, "Yes, Sir" she said. She was afraid Henry might hit her again but she had followed the rules and he didn't. She felt some relief when she watched Henry hand the crop back to Jo.

It took Molly by surprise when Henry leaned close to Jo and gave her a kiss. It wasn't chaste but it wasn't particularly amorous either; it certainly wasn't enough to inspire the sinking feeling in Molly's stomach that it did. Molly had seen them kiss plenty of times; even after acknowledging her growing affection for them it didn't hurt her necessarily to see them exchange affection. But this…this one simple action served to make her feel worse than any blow could. It only proved to her in a strong and vulnerable inducing way that they were together and she was an outsider. Reflexively she tried to reach out to them but the cuffs dung into her hands. Already she could see that the no touching rule would hurt more than the no talking rule.

It lasted so short a time but it felt like forever to Molly; when they finally pulled apart, she breathed a silent sigh of relief. Jo walked slowly over to her, followed by Henry. Molly took pleasure in the pink on his cheeks. Good…he should feel her scrutiny and feel embarrassed. Though it didn't lessen her sudden want for someone to touch her it bought some satisfaction to her ego.

"So….Molly…what would you like to tell us, tonight?" Henry asked, startlingly her with his commanding tone as he recovered the embarrassment of shamelessly kissing Jo in front of her.

"Who said I wanted to tell you anything?" Molly asked. It came out more hostile than she intended. Good…

"Watch your tone" Jo chided her, hitting Molly across the back with the crop. She gritted her teeth and tried to smile despite the pain. She breathed in deep and then looked up at Jo with a smug smile. "Yes, Miss" she sassed. She welcomed the second hit for her rudeness.

"Molly, you have pain. We all do. I'm sure you want to share with us" Henry encouraged, giving her a smile.

What was this? Some kind of good cop, bad cop routine? Molly felt anger flush through her system. Why should she tell them anything? Why should she share with the people who were intentionally trying to make her feel like an outsider?

"I want to share nothing with you, sir" Molly insisted. She was awarded with a couple of harsh blows; Jo really wasn't holding herself back but Molly felt some power come from the hits. The race of her pulse and the shock of the pain made her feel like she could go on.

"Sure you do" Henry insisted. He walked causally behind Jo, wrapping his arms around her in a hug, putting his head on Jo's shoulder so he could still look at her. "You asked us here. That can only mean you want to share with us. We're all friends here, aren't we?"

Why did it hurt so much? Molly felt tears prickle her eyes despite the fact that she felt ridiculous. The way Henry held Jo close, the way Jo leaned into him…..it spoke of intimacy between them that said that physical touch was effortless between them. It only highlighted how much she didn't have that. Sure, she had a healthy sex life; well, she had until Henry and Jo had thrown her emotions into peril. But sex and intimacy were two different things and while she had one she didn't have the other.

Molly's eyes were blurry and she was on the real verge of losing it; she couldn't let that happen. She coughed to clear her throat of emotions and forced herself to smile. "Actually, I thought it might be quite entertaining to see you two try to dominate me" Molly said with confidence she didn't feel. "You're both so soft"

Molly hated the way she was lashing out but it was her only defense. If she didn't act like she was in control, she would cease to have it. Henry released Jo who promptly delivered several blows to her back. Molly didn't even care; anything to get Henry and Jo to stop holding each other.

"I'm sure you think this is some sort of joke but it clearly is not" Jo said, hitting Molly. "You will be broken and you will ask us to stop"

It hurt so badly…the blows to her back made her feel queasy and light headed but as painful as they were she welcomed it. She closed her eyes, breathing deep for a moment before opening her eyes and looking at Jo.

"Is that supposed to hurt?" Molly asked with a sassy tone. She knew she'd suffer greatly but as long as they were angry at her their attention was on her and not each other.

Jo's eyes flamed as she handed the crop to Henry. Oh no…not that…being hit by Henry was so much worse because he didn't have the anger Jo did.

Henry grabbed at the crop and shook his head; he looked remorseful. "Oh, Molly…..why must you be such a bad girl?" he asked sadly. It was bad enough and then Henry smacked her several times on the bottom.

She wasn't a bad girl…she was good; at least she wanted to be good. She had to be strong but she felt uncomfortable and that made her act bad. "I'm not bad" Molly protested. She hadn't meant to say it and she instantly regretted it. It came out sounding needy and emotional. She felt so much smaller and less confident by the remark and Henry's treating her like a child.

Her remark inspired sympathy in Henry. He leaned close to her face, understanding on his own. "Then be a good girl and tell us what you're feeling? Perhaps you could start with telling Jo and me how you feel about us?" Henry asked gently.

Does he know….? There was a war going on insider Molly; something of her wanted to tell him but another part wanted to bottle it up. This was not supposed to be about her sharing her feelings; if she did that then that meant that she didn't have the upper hand. Besides, how could she really tell them how she felt? How could she tell them that despite all of her wooing and flirting behavior deep down all she wanted was someone that would hold her and comfort her, who would accept the person she was deep down inside. She wanted someone to be there for her, someone that she could show her true self. Even if she felt able to express that need to them, the fear of rejection was too strong. Who had she ever been able to truly be herself with? The sad answer was no one…..no one in her life had really seen the real her. Henry and Jo were the closest she had ever gotten; she was too afraid of losing them to say how she really felt.

"I think you both know how I feel about you" Molly said. "Why don't you tell me how you think I feel about you?" Molly put on her most confident voice and expression but at this point she was exhausted. She was so tired of being so strong but she'd built it up so much she didn't know how to get out of it with her dignity.

She was both relieved and anguished when Jo beat her several times with the crop. Every time she was hit her she wasn't sure that she could take another; she always did, though and it made her feel somehow stronger. Between hits, Jo grabbed her face and made her look at her. "You are not in control, you don't tell us what to do" Jo hissed at her. "You've had your chance to be in control and now you've given us that. You are not in control"

"Yes, I am!" Molly found herself arguing. She was in control….she had to be. Even as a submissive she had to be the one controlling the scene. She couldn't fathom the idea that she was truly out of control.

"No, you're not" Jo said, hitting her again. "You will see that, you will give up control"

Molly's entire body was on fire. Her skin burned like fire and she could feel welts developing. Her limbs shook from the shock of the pain and she felt weak in the knees; had the cuffs not been holding her up she was sure that she would have fallen. The pain had transformed from something that gave her power to something that made her feel vulnerable. She watched as Jo threw the crop on the ground and wondered with a shiver what was coming next.

"You want to be in control….fine" Jo said dismissively, holding her hands up. "You want that, go right ahead and have it" Jo walked up to Molly, leaning so close to her face that she could touch her nose if she leaned forward. "You can keep your control but there is one thing you'll never have."

Molly was afraid to ask but she knew that she was powerless not to. "What is that?" she asked. Her voice was thick and she was losing her bravado.

"Henry and me" Jo said, her voice dangerously low and warning. "You will never have us because you won't be honest with us. But that's okay. You know why?"

Molly felt the tears in her eyes were too far gone to stop now and she hated the storm of emotions gathering in her chest. "Why?" she croaked out.

Jo gave her a confident smile. "We don't need you" she said in a dangerous voice. "You think you're in control but you are not. Strip away your Iona persona and what do you have? You're lonely…..you're alone…you're nothing. And Henry and I can perfectly get by without you."

Molly felt the tears roll over her eyelids and down her face. Jo was confirming her worst fears and it made her feel like she was dying. She turned to Henry who was surveying all of this with his dark, emotionless expression. Surely he'd help her…..Molly wanted to reach out to him but she couldn't. Her words would have to be enough. "Henry…say that's not true. You need me, right? Please…I know you need me. Please…..let me go. End this…say Jo's wrong"

Molly hoped that by some miracle she'd appeal to Henry. She forgot the rules in her distress but even so no one punished her; somehow that was worse. No one cared enough to punish her.

Henry walked closer to Molly so that he could look at her fully. He looked so angry and yet Molly still to resist the urge to lean forward and kiss him…..how deeply she needed contact. "I don't need you" Henry said in a seething voice, anger in his eyes. "I don't…..why would I? I've got Jo and I don't need you. Neither of us do."

Molly let her face fall forward to hide the tears that were falling. She truly wasn't in control…..she'd lost them. Molly was so used to being in control and having people doing her will. She was used to being adored, desired and worshipped and it was a heady feeling of power that she loved. But was it an illusion? She'd never thought it was; she was always sure that her confidence was real but now it was crumbling around her. People often retaliated in sessions, insisting that they didn't need her but she always smiled that off because she knew they really did need her or they wouldn't be there. She wanted to laugh this off, to insist that they did need her. She tried to summon the confidence and self-assurance to tell herself that but she couldn't find it. She wasn't being told they didn't need her by just anyone; this was Henry and Jo. They weren't just anyone; they were special. They were closest she had ever gotten to love.

Molly watched as Henry and Jo walked away from her, over to the table of instruments. They were leaning close to each other, whispering. They had their backs to Molly, Henry's hand lightly on Jo's back. They were ignoring her…..it was the worst thing Molly could imagine. The pain and the beating was nothing compared to being ignored. Being hit, arguing and insulting were all okay because at least it still meant she had a captive audience. Molly felt the tears running down her face in earnest now; her heart was breaking inside her and she wasn't sure she would make it. Breathing seemed difficult as it came out in sharp bursts, her heart racing. She was panicking; she was panicking because she never let herself be vulnerable. She never let herself feel powerless and there was a very good reason for that. It was a reason that she hadn't thought about for a long time but now that she had opened that door in her mind she couldn't close it. The memories came rushing at her, combined with her loss and loneliness and overwhelmed her.

"Apple!" Molly called out, her breath labored and hard to gather. She had never had a panic attack but she imagined the tight feeling in her chest, the racing heart and feeling of dread descending over her was what it must feel like.

"Apple! Apple!" Molly managed to scream with what was left of her breath. Henry and Jo were hurrying toward her but it didn't feel nearly quick enough. Her wrists dug into the cuffs as she fought against them, knowing really that she couldn't get out but desperate to be free. To get out, to end all of this…..

She felt slack in the harness and then Henry and Jo were at her wrists, each undoing one. The second that she was free she launched herself away from it; she felt like a caged animal and she needed to get away.

"Molly!" Henry and Jo both said her name in concern, rushing over to her as she fell in the floor. She was weakened by the experience and she hadn't been prepared to run. She felt hands on her shoulders and though that was what she had wanted so desperately a moment ago, she felt like she had to get away from them. She was losing it, completely and properly losing it and she couldn't let them see it.

Without a look at either one, Molly pushed them away and forced herself to stand, taking off and out of the room and away from them.

….

Henry watched Molly take off out of the room and in the direction of her quarters and felt dread rising in his chest. She was completely hysterical; what had they done wrong?

"You broke her!" Henry found himself blaming Jo. He knew it wasn't just her fault but it was the only thing his panicked brain could come up with. Henry and Jo had never needed to use safe words because Molly had always been able to anticipate their every need and know exactly when to stop. Henry felt horrible that they had pushed Molly so much that she was acting like this.

Jo was instantly on the defensive at Henry's accusation. "What? It wasn't me! You were a part of this too!" she said. Her words were angry but Henry could tell that she was just as worried about Molly as he was. He watched her stare off in the direction Molly had fled and begin to bite her nails, a nervous habit she hardly ever indulged in.

"I know, I know" Henry said, running his hands through his hair. "I didn't want to do this! I knew we'd do something wrong!" Henry felt horrible; after all Molly had done for him and Jo and they had failed her in this.

"We did what she wanted us to do" Jo tried to justify. "I don't understand…we didn't do anything that she doesn't do to us. She was so cocky and self-assured I don't know how she went from that to panicked in only a few minutes"

"We should never have said we don't need her" Henry bemoaned, "It pushed her over the edge and it's a complete lie"

"But that's part of it" Jo argued, trying to make herself and Henry feel better about it. "She tears us down in sessions but then she builds us back up. She didn't let us comfort her….I don't know why"

Henry paced anxiously in a circle for a few moments, trying to figure out what to do. "What should we do?" he finally asked Jo.

Jo looked worriedly in the direction of Molly's quarters. "We have to go after her. She might think she wants to be alone but we can't leave her in that state" she said.

Henry's stomach churned nervously. He knew that Jo was right but he was anxious at seeing Molly like she was now. Crying…..broken…full of despair…..Henry wasn't sure he could take seeing her so upset and knowing they had made her that way. Molly was always so happy, so carefree and fun that it was completely upsetting to see her not that way. Henry was suddenly hit with a tremendous sensation of guilt. No one was happy all of the time and yet that's the way that he saw Molly. She was human; she felt pain just like anyone else. He'd just been too selfish to ever see it.

"You're right" Henry said, pushing his guilt and anxiety aside. "Come on…..let's go talk to her."

…

Molly buried her face in the pillows of her bed, trying to stifle her cries and yet desperate to breath at the same time. Her sobs racked her entire body, making her chest feel like it was caving in; every time she tried to draw in a gasping breath, her chest seemed to seize up and small breaths were all she could manage. Her back ached, burned like it was on fire but she couldn't bother to do anything about it. Right now, she felt more alone than she had in years; her heart breaking inside of her made her feel like she was dying and part of her wanted to let it kill her.

She was alone…..so alone…..Molly never let herself get this weak; she never let herself examine her life this much. She couldn't remember the last time she had let herself cry and now that she had started, there seemed to be no end to it. No one needed her…not really. Her clients needed her for what she could give them in therapy. People needed Iona…..no one needed Molly.

"Molly?" there was a knock on the door and the sound of Henry's voice behind it. "Can we come in?"

Molly sat up on the bed, trying to gather her breath but it seemed lost to her. She wanted to say no, to tell him to go away…she was horribly embarrassed. She had asked Henry and Jo to dominate her; she'd been so sure and cocky of herself the entire time. Then, without even being hit she had completely lost her composure. She was ashamed…and she didn't want to have to explain why she was so upset. She couldn't imagine telling them how much she needed them.

"Molly…me and Henry are going to come in" Jo's voice called out through the door when Molly didn't answer.

Molly tried to speak but she was overcome with another wave of tears and her face fell into her hands; no wonder she never cried. Now that she started she didn't feel that she could ever start.

She could hear the sound of her door being opened and she tried to hide her face in her hands so they couldn't see. She knew it was ridiculous; it would be obvious to a blind man that she was weeping without control.

She heard Henry and Jo walked across the room and then she could feel the bed dip down as they sat beside her. It was silent for a moment, except for the sound of Molly's cries. Henry was the first one to speak.

"Molly…." He started carefully, "I am so sorry that we upset you like this. This is exactly what we were afraid of. We obviously don't know what we are doing; I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I…care about you too much."

Henry's voice was full of remorse and sorrow and Molly was struck by it. She moved her hands away from her face to look at him and saw genuine pain on his face. He was really upset…..as real as it had seemed in the moment that he and Jo didn't need her maybe that hadn't been the truth. Maybe he did care about her like he said he did.

Before she realized fully what she was doing, Molly had thrown herself into Henry's arms. "Don't leave me…..please don't leave me" Molly begged, her voice cracking as she wrapped her arms around Henry's neck and buried her face in his neck. She could feel his muscles tense under her for a moment and she felt her stomach lurch in worry that he might push her away.

"We're not going anywhere, Molly" Henry said softly and sincerely, "Jo and I are right here with you and we aren't leaving"

Henry's arms wrapped around Molly, his hands coming to rest gently on her throbbing back. Assured that he wasn't going anywhere, Molly scooted closer into Henry's lap, grasping him tightly so that he couldn't move. For too long she had watched Henry and Jo from the outside, wanting so badly to be a part of what they had and now she felt she had stolen some small part of it.

It was so nice….For a moment Molly memorized everything about it. Rubbing her face in Henry's neck she could feel his pulse, his stubble against her cheek, smell the spicy scent of his cologne against her nose. She could feel the strong tone of his muscles even under all of the fancy, smooth clothes he wore. She didn't even realize that she had started to cry again until she heard Henry gently shh in her ear.

"Shh…it's okay. Get it all out" Henry whispered in her ear. He gently ran his hands along Molly's back, just enough to calm her and not anger her injuries.

As if his words were a command, Molly did what he said. She hid her face and cried until she couldn't cry anymore. She was not accustomed to doing what anyone told her; quite the opposite. But right now she felt incredibly small and broken and it was such an incredible relief to let go that Molly couldn't resist.

When Molly finally felt that she couldn't cry anymore, she crumpled against Henry's shoulder completely spent. She let her weight rest on him, feeling as if she could go to sleep. She was so tired physically and emotionally that she could imagine nothing better than going to sleep in Henry's arms. How long had it been since she'd been held for so long? How long had it been since she had been touched in so intimate a way that had nothing to do with sex? They were the kind of questions that had ultimately sparked her break down and Molly pushed it out of her mind. Henry wasn't going anywhere…

With Henry's arms still around her, Molly felt another hand squeeze her shoulder lightly. "I'm sorry Molly…..I didn't mean to hurt you"

Jo's voice was sad and small; scared almost. For a small moment Molly worried that Jo might not approve of the way that she had draped herself over Henry and her eyes shot open. But when she came face to face with Jo she could see that she was anything but angry. Her eyes were full and fixed on her, her face pale and drawn in worry. Molly felt she should say something; there was so much to tell. But there was so much that she should and could say that it overwhelmed her and made her pause.

"I was trying to do to you what you do to me" Jo admitted, her voice raw and vulnerable. "I obviously got it wrong because you make me feel good and all I did was hurt you."

But she hadn't gotten it wrong…she needed to find her words so that she could tell Henry and Jo that the guilt they felt wasn't deserved. But at that moment, hanging onto Henry while Jo reached out and stroked her cheek with her finger and whispered how sorry she was, she could only manage to live in the moment and soak up their affection.

With a burst of affection swelling in her heart toward Jo, Molly lessened her grip on Henry and threw herself at Jo. Jo, surprised and unprepared, half toppled over when Molly put her arms around her neck and held on. Jo apologized as they both fell over but Molly felt it was perfect. She could fit herself like a perfect puzzle against Jo, soaking up all of her warmth and softness. She felt like crying again but she simply didn't have the tears; she didn't deserve them. She didn't deserve either one of them and yet she was trying to keep them both.

Molly hadn't really realized that she was saying it out loud until she heard Jo's voice against her ear. "Don't deserve what?" she prompted her gently, running a hand through her hair.

Molly was selfish; she wanted to stop this moment and never leave it. There would be a time that they would leave her and she would be alone. They had each other and they didn't need her the way that she needed them. For all of her failures at crossing lines with patients, this was on a whole new level. She had finally developed genuine feelings for someone and that connection might just mean her end.

"You…..Henry…any of this" Molly said, feeling anguish in her heart. "You have each other…you should leave. I don't deserve you."

Molly could feel Jo shift out from under her as she shut her eyes tightly and she was sure that she was leaving her. Molly instantly felt cold but maybe it was for the best….how far did she really think this could go?

And then Molly felt herself being lifted up; a rough big hand lifting her on one side and a small, smooth hand on the other. Henry and Jo pulled her up into a sitting position, forcing her to have to look at them. Henry dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief, Jo pushed her hair back behind her ears. The acts were gentle, so kind and caring; the look in their eyes so understanding that it made Molly feel even worse.

"Of course you do" Henry said, giving her a gentle smile, rubbing the last moisture off her eyes before she could add to it.

"No…..no….." Molly argued, shaking her head. She had tricked them into all of this really. She had asked them to dominate her for the soul purpose of gaining physical comfort from them. She had honestly thought that being tied up and beaten wouldn't have bothered her; she hadn't given it much thought at all other than to think it might be a little hot. She hadn't been honest and really she had used them. They wouldn't think she deserved them if they knew that.

"Don't be hard on yourself" Jo said, remorse in her voice. "What I said about us not needing you wasn't true. We do need you…..and more than that we enjoy being with you too."

But the guilt was starting to claw away at Molly's insides, making the hole in her chest feel bigger and bigger by the moment. She was beginning to feel desperate and the words poured out of her mouth. "But you don't get it!" she burst out, feeling her heart explode with emotions in a way that she hadn't felt for a long, long time. "I lied to you…..I tricked you guys into doing this just you'd be nice to me, to comfort me, to hold me…I didn't tell you the truth and now you're the ones feelings guilty and that's not right at all. It's my fault…..I've gotten way too carried away with all of this! I should have never done this…..I should just go back to the way it was where I was your therapist and you were my patients…..where I cared about you as a professional"

Molly could barely register the alarm on Henry and Jo's faces at her outburst. "As opposed to what?" Henry asked, his voice quiet and careful as if approaching an animal.

"As opposed to hopelessly loving you two!"

The effect of Molly's words were instant, even on herself. Hearing the words, unnecessarily loud even to her own ears sobered her up. She avoided looking at Henry and Jo; she wasn't sure she could take the mortification that would come with it. Dread hit her stomach and sweat began to bead on her forehead. What had she done…?

Molly had meant tell them the truth about her motives but she had not meant to tell them truth about how she felt. Telling them the truth about her feelings could only end badly; she could only lose them and she didn't want that. Even in the best of circumstances they would feel threatened by her; they were sure to think that she wanted to intrude upon what they had. Molly had never told anyone that she loved them before; in truth she was sure that she had never been in love before.

Molly was dejectedly making up her mind how to best take the rejection; how to best walk away from them and never look back when Henry spoke. "You act like that's a bad thing" he said.

Molly's head snapped up and she saw Henry's expression before she could stop herself. She didn't see fear or disgust or the need to get out on his face; she saw a smile of acceptance. "What?" she asked, unsure of what was about to happen.

Henry grinned, reaching out tentatively to take her hand. "Love isn't a bad thing…..why should you want to go back to the way things were?" he asked, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

Molly's frozen body was beginning to thaw as her blood pumped with vigor as life seemed not ready to end. Was Henry really implying that he was not only rejecting her but accepting her brazenly shared feelings? Molly's eyes darted nervously to Jo; surely she wouldn't be alright with this. But when she saw Jo's face she also saw an acceptance that she hadn't expected.

"I'm not trying to get in the middle of anything…..maybe I shouldn't have said anything" Molly said, feeling nervous that the small hope growing inside her might be pulled away at any moment.

"You would prefer to have kept it to yourself and suffered?" Jo asked with a slight laugh. "After all the attention you've been lavishing on me and Henry? Really Molly, if you wanted some attention all you had to do was ask"

Molly's breath was taken away slightly as Jo leaned over and gave her a hug. Soft, so as not to anger her injuries, but so full of care that it made Molly sigh. She wrapped her arms around Jo, melting into the touch. With her arms still around Jo, Molly felt Henry lean over and place a kiss on her cheek. "You know we love you too, right?" he whispered in her ear. He hugged her delicately from behind and she felt herself wonderfully and beautifully cocooned between them. For the first time she felt she could cry happy tears. Though she had always preached that there was freedom in submission, she had never truly felt it herself until that moment.

….

Henry and Jo insisted that they were going to take care of Molly's wounds and told her not to argue about it; she was long overdue for some care herself. That was just as well with her; now knowing that they weren't going to leave now that she had been honest she felt she was allowed to be a little selfish in her need for them tonight.

She lay stomach down on her bed, while Henry attended to her wounds. Now that she had calmed down she could fully feel the pain her body was in. Everything hurt from her shoulders down her back; her clothes, the air…..it all seemed excruciating as the welts on her back became fully swelled and inflamed. When Henry began to rub lotion on each individual cut along her back, she felt some measure of relief. It stung at first and she flinched at the contact.

"Don't fight it…..it'll get better in a minuet" Henry admonished kindly and Molly relaxed back on the bed. After a few minutes the stinging pain of the cream against her back turned to cool relief. Henry massaged the lotion gently into each cut with care before moving on to the next.

"You're going to spoil me treating me this good" Molly said tiredly smiling; she was enjoying every second of it.

"Good….I'm of the opinion that every woman should be spoiled" Henry said gallantly.

Molly had to grin; Henry, ever the gentleman. She liked his sentiment though and she was quite sure that she agreed with it.

Jo lay down on the bed next to Molly as Henry tended her wounds, holding her hand, occasionally letting her thumb rub across Molly's hand. It calmed her down much more than Molly thought it should and the value of it was not lost on Molly. Jo wasn't a person who was exceptionally generous with physical affection like Henry was; her actions were fewer and more calculated. They carried more weight and meaning behind them.

Molly watched Jo's face carefully and could sense the shift from calm to troubled as she saw her eyes clouding. "I didn't want to push you so hard. Are you really sure that you're okay?" Jo finally asked.

The question was nearly identical to what she'd asked Jo during the session that they had shared together. At the time, her feelings had been growing more intense and Jo's more upset reaction made her feel that her personal feelings were making her error in her professional duties. It was the reason that a responsible professional should never get involved with her patients. She had been afraid that she had genuinely hurt Jo. She'd been harsher than she ever had with her; it had killed her to ignore Jo but at the time it was what she needed to push her over the edge. Just the same, she knew that Jo's harsh treatment of her was what she had needed to put her in a position that she had felt comfortable to talk.

"You didn't push me too hard" Molly said honestly, "You gave me just what I needed. Just like I do with you"

Jo still looked worried. "You've never had to stop for me before. That means that I pushed you too hard."

Molly grinned, putting her forehead against Jo's to close the almost non-existent space between them. "And I was being horrible…..you have to be a little mean to me to get through my thick head" Molly said. She thought about all of the memories and feelings from her past that being out of control had made her come face to face with and it felt like a punch to the stomach in the middle of wonderful moment. She knew she had to tell them about it; it would wear on her until she did.

"As long as you're sure you're alright" Jo said, her voice still hesitant.

Molly leaned up just enough to place a kiss on Jo's forehead; just as she didn't give affection that freely, she didn't accept it that easily either. She had to be slow and careful with Jo. "Stop, Jo. You're perfect…don't worry. I'm just fine"

Jo smiled and her cheeks colored slightly at the praise and attention; she never admitted how much she loved it but she did.

"She's right, you know" Henry said, as he finished on the last places on Molly's back and draped a robe over her carefully. "You are perfect."

Molly smiled as she watched Jo's face grow more flustered. "What am I supposed to do with two?" she said, trying to brush off the compliments like always.

"I suppose you better let us care about" Henry said with a grin.

Molly pulled the robe around her before sitting up fully. Her muscles and skin still ached and she knew she'd feel the burn for a long time. After days of feeling the pain of the beating she had received she might be much better equipped to understand how her patients felt.

Steeling herself for more openness when her feelings already felt raw, Molly pushed on before she could lose her nerve. "There was another reason that the session tonight was overwhelming to me" she said.

Henry and Jo looked at her curiously, watching her quietly and waiting for her to go on on her own.

"I didn't take it seriously, which was my first problem" Molly said. "I should know, and I suppose I do know, that domination therapy is all about bringing up issues to deal with them. I suppose that I thought myself above needing help and that was my second problem." Molly paused, feeling the wave of her memories crash over her, memories that should have been long dead and buried.

"It's okay…you can tell us" Henry prodded her gently when Molly paused, trying to gather her breath before going on. Molly took strength in the suggestion; after all she had told them already there was no reason that she shouldn't be able to tell them this.

"I'm not a sub…..not even a little bit" Molly said, "I never have been and I've never wanted to be. Even tonight, I wanted to play the submissive without actually being one. I like being in control; that's no surprise to anyone. But more than liking control, I need to be in control. I need it more than other people because I know what true lack of control feels like and it's horrible"

Emotion caught in Molly's throat at the memories but she wasn't in danger of crying; she'd spent so much time crying over her past memories when she was a child that there was no sadness left of it. Just a resolve to be strong, to be in control…..to never surrender again. At least…..that's what she had thought until the memory of it earlier had sent her into a panic attack.

"I had a very bad childhood to start out with" Molly said, closing her eyes as she recounted the story, "My birth parents…well, let's just say they weren't equipped to really be parents. My mother was only 15 at the time I was born. I think some part of her cared about me but she wasn't able to be a parent. She was too young and had too much going on with my father to attend to me. My father was nearly twice my mother's age and none too happy to be saddled with the responsibility of my mom and me. Had my mother had any family of her own we might have been okay. But she was a child of the system and had no one but my dad."

Molly wanted to look at Henry and Jo for comfort and support to go on but she already felt it was harder to speak and if she looked at them and gave into her need for them she wouldn't finish.

"My dad was a drunk and an angry one at that" Molly said, "It was not at all uncommon for one or both of them to disappear for long stretches of time. But that was okay with me because it was worse when they were there. It was worse when he was there…I preferred to be left alone. My parents didn't want me and they made it known in plenty of ways"

Molly hadn't thought about her birth parents in a long time; years. She couldn't afford to; she had to bury it. But now that she was unearthing it she could feel all of the pain and loss and rejection she had felt then. The aching hunger, the loneliness, the hours spent wondering what she could do to make her parents happy…..the bruises that never went away.

"But really, I was one of the lucky ones" Molly said, trying to sound happier. "So many children live that way until their adulthood; they fall through the cracks. Surely that would have happened to me had I not had some vigilant teachers who could see the pain I was in but couldn't voice. I was removed from my birth parents when I was eight. And then everything got better; I was adopted."

Molly could genuinely smile now as she thought of her real parents. They were both gone now but the love and affection they'd lavished on her filled her with nothing but warmness. Even now she could see in her mind's eye her dad putting her on his knee even though they were 'old and cracky' as he said and telling her how she was his beautiful princess. She could recall learning how to do her make up alongside her mom; no play make up, but the real stuff. Always the real stuff…She could taste the cookies her mom made, smell the scent of her dad's cigars…Molly felt a bigger lump in her throat at the good memories than the bad. They meant more.

"My adoptive parents…..my real parents were a gift" Molly said, finally, looking up at Henry and Jo who both looked sad and thoughtful. "They were an older couple who had tried for years to have their own child and had been unsuccessful. They called me a blessing…but they were the ones that were a blessing to me. Even at only eight years old I was already old enough that most couples looking to adopt looked past me. Everyone wants a baby; not a scrawny, withdrawn girl with issues as I was then. But they wanted me….

"They got me everything I wanted….everything I needed. They got me a tutor to help me catch up academically, a therapist to help me through my trauma. In a few years I was not the same damaged kid that my parents had adopted. It's not an exaggeration to say that they spoiled me in every way…..but all of their attention and care gave me confidence and made me the way I am now. They saved my life"

Molly coughed past the emotion and Henry looked pained. "Oh, Molly…" he said, looking upset.

Molly cut him off. "No…..it's okay" Molly said genuinely. "I didn't tell you all of that because I wanted sympathy. I really was very fortunate. I hardly ever think about my birth parents. But that feeling of not being in control was something I never forgot and I never wanted to feel again."

"So, I take it that you don't want another session?" Jo asked. She looked troubled by what Molly had said but was trying to hold it back.

Molly was sure that Jo expected her to agree. "No…..I do actually. I think I'm possibly not as carefree emotionally as I thought I was" she said, her eyes darting self-consciously from Jo to Henry.

"But I thought that you said you didn't want to be out of control again?" Jo asked, frowning slightly.

"I never have before" Molly said honestly, looking down at her lap. "But with you and Henry…I feel safe. Even being at your mercy I feel safe and I've never felt that way with anyone."

…..

Molly woke up cold in the dark; she tried to pull the blanket around her and go back to sleep but she found that sleep was impossible. The ache in her stomach was persistent and she closed her eyes and tried to think of anything but food but it proved impossible until…..

She could hear the sound of banging and raised voices and her heart began to beat harder in her chest. She hadn't seen either of her parents for two days and now that they were back is sounded like they were madder than ever.

Molly put her pillow over her ears and tried to drown out the sound and go back to sleep. But the fear and hunger and yelling was too much…Molly could hear the sound of mom's crying and knew dad must have hit her. She wanted to pretend that it wasn't there but she couldn't…..she had to help mom.

Molly found her way out of bed and down the hallway. She found mom and dad in the kitchen. Mom was on the ground, covering her face and crying. Dad was in the kitchen, opening a beer and downing it. With his back to her, Molly crawled across the floor toward mom.

"Mom…are you okay?" Molly asked. She was scared dad would turn around and see her but she hated to see mom crying. She wanted to fix it.

Mom pulled her hands back from her face and looked at Molly. Her eye was already starting to turn black and blue. "Molly…..go…..get out of here" Mom urged her. "Go back to bed."

Molly opened her mouth to argue but dad had turned around and the next thing she knew she felt a hard smack to the face-

Molly woke up in the middle of the night, her heart racing her lungs seizing. She tried to still her breath but for the second time that day she was hyperventilating. She hadn't had a dream like this since she was a child and it was not at all welcome. It seemed so real…She felt the pain, felt the loneliness…..in the dark of her room she never felt lonelier. She thought about the kindness of Henry and Jo earlier as she felt the shooting pain through her back. Thinking about how they had held her, touched her, lavished her with affection made her feel even lonelier now without them.

She began to cry; without being able to get much air, it came out strangled and harsh sounding. She crumpled against the bed, giving in to her pain.

A moment later she was startled by the sound of her bedroom door opening. Still gasping for breath, she looked up and saw Henry and Jo coming into her room. They were still in their clothes but they were rumpled and their hair out of sorts; she had told them to go home when she had gone to bed but it was obvious they had ignored her and found somewhere to sleep here.

Henry made it to her first, sitting on the bed next to her, a look of alarm on his face. "Molly….what's wrong?" he asked.

But Molly was already rushing into his arms. In her panic she wanted nothing more than to feel safe and protected like she had earlier. She put her arms around him, hugging him tight and burying her face in his chest. Focusing on his breath and his heartbeat, Molly was able to calm herself.

"Nightmares?" Henry asked after she had calmed down, running his fingers through her hair in a calming motion. He spoke almost with the intuition of a parent and Molly was glad she didn't have to explain it all to him. She nodded against him, looking up at him through her tear filled eyes.

As she rested against Henry she could feel Jo's hand began to stroke her back perfectly; just soft enough to feel comforting without hurting her injuries. "Do you need anything?" Jo asked her quietly after a moment.

Molly shook her head. "I'm okay" she said, an automatic response even though she wasn't alright. She would be alright now that they were there though. "I…I…just had a flashback"

Molly wasn't expecting it. Even after the unexpected reaction she'd had to the session she hadn't been expecting to have nightmares. It wasn't surprising; Molly was surprised though how deeply it had all affected her.

She also was surprised by Henry's reaction. Though she hadn't told him the details of her dream, nor did she want to, he seemed to know exactly what she needed to hear. Henry put his hands on the side of her face and pulled her away from his chest so that she could look at him. "No matter what happened in your past I don't want you to ever feel you're a mistake" Henry said, his voice and his eyes blazing with intensity. "You are not a mistake and you are not unwanted. You, Molly Dawes, are a wonderful person. You are brilliant and funny and beautiful and Jo and I are so fortunate not only to know you but to be loved by you. You are safe and you are loved"

Molly's heart swelled with affection, making her cry happy tears for the second time that night. She was definitely alright now.

….

Henry hadn't known what to expect when he and Jo had accepted Molly's offer tonight. Several different scenarios had run through his head but none of them had come closer to really predicting what would happen. With no amount of guessing would he have guessed that it would have ended with him up at four in the morning sitting up in Molly's bed, watching not only her but Jo sleep. After her nightmare, Molly had practically begged Henry and Jo to stay with her. Neither one of them had to be too hard convinced. Molly had fallen asleep against Henry's chest, with tears on her cheeks but a look of contentment on her face. At some point in her sleep she had rolled away from him and toward Jo. Molly slept with her back to Jo who, adorably, reached out in her sleep as if she knew Molly was there and now spooned her close. Henry should have been sleeping; he was exhausted. But he couldn't take his eyes off of the beautiful sight of Jo and Molly, their faces relaxed in sleep, content and calm. It had been a long time since Henry had counted himself as such a lucky man but looking at them he did count himself very lucky.

He loved them both and they both loved him. It was two completely different kinds of love but wonderful all the same. It had surprised him when Molly had blurted out her feelings. It wasn't that he was surprised she felt that way; he had suspected it for a long time. But he was surprised that she was so desperate for their affection that she subjected herself to being beaten just to get it. Molly was so forward and flirtatious Henry just assumed that she would come out and say what she wanted. The fact that she had tried to gain it through sly means proved lack of confidence. Henry never would have thought Molly was not confident in herself; she just exuded confidence. But after what she shared tonight, he couldn't blame her.

Molly had been through a horrible ordeal and while it was long past, Henry had the feeling that she was still dealing with some of the issues surrounding it. She was secretly terrified of being rejected; the mere idea that she thought that Henry and Jo would leave her because she'd grown to care for them showed that she had been rejected a lot in her life. While Henry always assumed she had gotten on well with her romantic life, he wondered how long it had been since she had someone around that she really had cared about. Feeling a pain of sentiment toward her, Henry laid down next to Molly, facing her and Jo.

He was lucky…..he didn't deserve either one of them and yet he'd been blessed with both. He wasn't sure what this all meant for their professional life; no doubt anything professional was gone. But he was certain that he, if not Jo too, needed domination therapy in a way now they never had before and he couldn't imagine giving it up. Now he suspected that even Molly would see her own need for it now as well. But no matter what the state of their therapy would be, Henry knew one thing; with how much their all cared about each other he was certain they could make through whatever issues might come up next.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Abe becomes seriously ill, Henry becomes bent on getting to Iona for a therapy session. Jo worries it isnt the best thing but Molly assures her Henry has something important to tell them. Neither of them imagining how big a secret he had.

Iona means something to me that no one ever has or ever could again. As Iona, she is strong and certain; she knows exactly what I need and how to give it to me. Others might see it a ludicrous arrangement; the idea that I willingly let someone tie me up and beat me and that I enjoy it. But there is freedom in vulnerability. There is something truly freeing about giving Iona all of the power. I do what she tells me to do, say what she tells me to say; when I don't know what I need to express she guides me toward it.

As Iona, she is my guide and strength and power; as Molly she means even more. In hugs, in compliments, in fingers intertwined in mine and smiles when I need it she gives me even more. She is my friend and my confidante; as much as I need her, she needs me too. As Molly she showed me who she really is and that is a gif that I know the meaning of. I have a love for her that is pure and interdependent; I can't now imagine what it would be like without her in my life.

Jo gave me the gift of knowing myself through Iona's therapy. Jo was my partner and then my friend; when I started to feel more for her, she refused to let me pull away. When I tried to run from my feelings for her, she brought me to Iona when I didn't even know I needed it. I don't think she ever knew how much that meant to me. In decades of living alone, pushing people away when I started to care for them, I was unaccustomed to anyone chasing me. But that's what Jo did; she cared enough about me to pursue me when I ran away and that showed me how much she cared. She cared enough about me to not let me go.

It took a lot of trust on my part; not only trusting Iona to hurt me but being friends with Jo. I've grown accustomed to keeping people at arms' length for many years now so my secrets are never found out. Slowly, they began to tear down those barriers that I had so carefully crafted. When Jo started to become more to me than just a friend I was secretly terrified. I could tell that I had grown to love her so dearly that I couldn't possibly push her away. But again that didn't stop me from trying. Jo wouldn't let me go; 30 years after losing Abigail and believing I would never allow myself to love someone again and yet here was my heart, open completely to her.

I am blessed with more fortune that I could possibly deserve, even in my two hundred plus years of life. As little as I've done to deserve it I have Jo and Molly in my life to anchor me and love me. Molly, as my friend and master, and Jo as the woman I love and the person I can see myself having a lifetime with.

I've trusted them with everything but one thing; the thing that matters most. I have not trusted them with my secrets. I know that we cannot move forward in our relationship until I am open about that. But that still doesn't mean I have intentions of sharing; I could lose them both and that's a gamble I'm not sure that I can possibly take.

…..

"Henry…..are you sure about this?" Jo asked as she and Henry stood outside of Molly's office. She was here if Henry really needed her to be here but she was uncertain this was the right thing for him right now.

Henry, normally so put together, looked a sight. His fancy clothes were rumpled and unkempt, his stubble thicker than he normally let it grow. His eyes were red from fatigue; if they were from tears as well they were not tears that he had let Jo see fall, even now. His hair stuck up in odd angles from where he had nervously ran his hands through it. "I wouldn't be here if I was not sure" Henry said gruffly, not even looking at Jo as he said it.

Jo felt a sick pit in her stomach, one she was growing used to having. "I just meant that perhaps we could just talk to Molly rather than have a session. I-"Jo stared, speaking slow and cautious like she was approaching a wounded animal, which she kind of was.

It set Henry off like a bomb. "Do you think I am incapable of determining what I need?" he burst out, turning toward Jo and scowling at her. "If you are uncomfortable, you can leave. I'm staying."

Jo swallowed hard, trying not to take Henry's outburst to heart. It was so unlike him. "No, of course not. You need this and I am here for you Henry" she said quietly before raising a shaky hand to knock on Molly's door.

Jo could excuse any amount of horrible behavior from Henry because she knew he was going through hell, even if he tried to hide it. After suffering a massive stroke, Abe had gone into a coma that he still had not woken from. Though Henry was hopeful Abe would wake, he also knew it was a great possibility that he might not wake up; even if he did, there's no telling what state he would be left in. Henry maintained a hopeful façade, even around Jo but she knew he was dying inside. In stolen moments when Henry didn't know she was watching, Jo had seen Henry's face crumple in despair as he would stroke Abe's hand or kiss on him on the forehead. Even after all of this time, Henry wouldn't be honest about how much he was affected by this. Jo knew that he had to be feeling so much pain; at the same time she felt he was closing his feelings off. Why? Was it because he didn't want to tell her what Abe really meant to him? She had never been fooled for one second to believe that Abe was merely a business partner of Henry's father. They were much too close for that. There had been a time that Jo had entertained the idea that Abe was actually Henry's father but she had quickly discarded that idea. If that was the truth, then why lie about it? Their dynamic didn't support that theory either. When she watched Henry and Abe interact it was almost as if Henry was protecting Abe. He would worry so about him sometimes. Jo supposed that a child could worry about a parent's wellbeing especially in their older years but it was more than that, deeper than that.

Jo had given up trying to figure it out long ago; she could only assume Henry and Abe were lying for a good reason and when they were ready they would tell her. But after all of this time, she would have thought that they would have trusted her enough to confide in her. After all, Henry was so strange sometimes she was sure that little could really surprise her about him. But even now, with Abe in a terrible state, Henry couldn't even let Jo see how upset he really was about it. It hurt but she pushed it aside; all that mattered now was supporting Henry through this terrible time in any way that she could.

Jo still maintained that this was a bad idea no matter what Henry said. Henry had not left the hospital for three days and Jo had only left a few times to sleep and to retrieve clothes and food for Henry that he didn't touch. Always impeccably put together and the picture of health and vitality, Henry ceased to care for himself in a way that worried Jo. Anyone was given the right to give up a measure of personal hygiene in the midst of such a tragedy but it was as if Henry completely began to ignore his needs. He wouldn't change, wouldn't shower; Jo hadn't seen him touch a scrap of food or sleep at all since it happened and it scared her. He just sat there, staring at Abe with eyes that were black and dead or get up and pace around the bed, fixing Abe's pillows and blankets incessantly like a mother hen. It was pitiful; Jo knew he wanted to do something and yet there was nothing that he could do.

It had stunned Jo when, after being told that Abe was stable and doing better than he had since the stroke by the nurses, Henry had announced that he wanted to go see Molly. She tried to convince him to go home and just rest for once but he would not be deterred. He had a hard edge to his eyes that said he was determined and Jo knew better than to argue. Possibly he had a good reason for wanting to see Molly; maybe he needed to tell her something that he couldn't without some help. Jo could only hope that Molly knew what Henry needed better than she did.

"Jo, Henry…..good to see you. Come on in" Molly said with a smile as she opened the door to Jo's knock. Jo could see a twinge of sympathy in Molly's eyes as she almost reached out to give Henry a hug. She recovered quickly though; Jo doubted Henry even noticed as he plowed past her into her office. Jo could tell that Molly wanted nothing more than to comfort Henry; it was harder these days to be completely professional. But her momentarily slip was quickly smoothed over.

Jo followed Molly and Henry into the room, watching as Henry paced agitatedly as if he couldn't wait the seconds that it took Molly to catch up with him. Molly walked up to Henry, her face soft as she reached up and grabbed his lopsided tie. "You're letting yourself go, Henry. Want to tell me about that?" Molly asked, straightening Henry's tie as she looked at him with a slight grin. It might have seemed harsh under the circumstances as a remark but Jo knew that this was Molly's way of giving Henry an opportunity to talk without hitting him. Molly knew the circumstances; Jo had called her the day it happened. As their closest of friends, a person who Jo couldn't even fully explain through the word of friend, she felt that Molly deserved to know what was going on.

And for a moment, Jo actually thought it was actually going to work. She stood tentatively behind Molly as she watched Henry's face crumble as he looked Molly, his eyes glistening. "Abe…" It was desperate, a word bursting out of him like an ache. He was just barely holding on to his composure and he had been for a while and it was showing through.

Molly took advantage of the momentary cracks in Henry's defense. She took Henry's face in her hands, stroking her thumbs along his cheeks as she looked into his eyes. "What about Abe?" she asked gently, prodding him.

Jo watched carefully, hoping she'd get through to him. Jo wasn't jealous of the affectionate way Molly touched and spoke to him and the way he looked back at her. Maybe she should have been but she couldn't be jealous of anything Molly did. Henry was a complex man and he needed them both to keep him together.

Henry was crumbling; both Jo and Molly could see it in his eyes. But just as quickly he caught himself. It was like a switch inside his mind turned, putting up those barriers he had crafted so well. He pulled back from Molly's touch, blinking until his eyes didn't look like they had tears in them anymore. "No…no…." Henry said, frowning slightly as if confused but his eyes suddenly took on a dark look. He almost looked angry; it was an expression that he didn't often have and it always made Jo wary.

Molly, as usual, was composed and didn't let her frustration show like Jo was sure hers was. "Ah, Henry…..now be a good boy. Don't shut down on me" Molly cautioned him in a sweet voice, giving him a smile. It was the sugary kind of tone that could get Jo to easily do what she wanted but it didn't often work on Henry and it certainly didn't work on him this time.

Henry looked at Molly with such a hard, dark expression that Jo felt her worry for him increase exponentially; she had never seen him look quite so dangerous. "Hit me" Henry said. His tone was commanding and harsh and it shook Jo. Why was Henry acting like this? Perhaps he was worse off than Jo realized.

Luckily, Molly had a better means of keeping her composure and if she was alarmed by Henry's behavior she didn't let it show. "Henry, are you ordering me? For your sake, I hope you are not chancing to defy me because it would not end well for you"

Molly's face was neutral and her tone quiet but the edge to it and the glare in her eyes made it obvious that she was not to be tempted. It was common for Jo to push back against Molly; she had defied her in sessions before and it always ended with her being punished. She expected it and would have been disappointed it Molly didn't deliver. But Henry didn't do that; he was submissive all the way. He commanded quite a presence in his daily life with his intelligence and brilliant confidence. But deep down, with Molly and Jo, he desired nothing more than giving up that control.

Before Henry even spoke, Jo could tell that he wasn't going to give in. "Hit me…..hurt me" Henry said in that same dark, commanding tone that he used before. There was threat in his eyes; he was literally asking for it.

Molly didn't say anything and that was almost worse. She could see the study in Molly's eyes but she didn't know what it meant. She grabbed Henry by the tie again but this time it wasn't kind. She twisted his tie around her hand and used it like a lease to pull him toward the room where her tools were.

Jo followed, worry in the pit of her stomach. Henry wasn't thinking clearly like he normally would; he normally wouldn't taunt Molly like that and she worried he was going to get in over his head. She wanted so much to just take him home and take care of him; she wanted him to relax and let her comfort him. Never had she been afraid of a session in quite this way before.

Molly dragged Henry into the room by his tie and then pushed him back slightly with her hand as if pushing something inferior away from her. "Sit down on the floor" Molly commanded him.

"Why? I have never been put on the floor before" Henry said. There was a tone of his normal cockiness but the simple fact that he was arguing at all put Jo so out of ease she almost begged Henry to do as Molly said.

Henry was quickly reprimanded, just as Jo was sure he wanted. Molly grabbed his face with her hand and turned it toward her before smacking him on the cheek; it was highly abnormal for Molly to use her hands for hitting, especially on the face and she could tell that it had an effect on Henry. "I said, sit down" Molly commanded, pushing him down on the shoulder.

Jo was worried as she watched Henry slowly sink to the floor and sit on his bottom, glaring at Molly. His cheek has a red spot on it she had been hit and it stirred Jo's heart; was that really necessary? Henry was hurting so badly already inside.

Molly walked away from Henry to the table where her instruments sat. "Jo, come" Molly ordered her, waving her hand toward Jo. For one horrible second Jo was afraid that Molly was going to ask her to assist in dominating Henry, something she was sure she couldn't do. She was relieved when she didn't.

Molly took her hand when she walked up to her; only then did Jo realize that her hand was shaking. "You're upset, Jo. Tell me about it" Molly said. She kept her voice low so that Henry couldn't hear what they were saying.

Molly had that detachedness in her voice and eyes that she had when she was conducting therapy. It was necessary to keep boundaries in place, for Molly not to get too emotional while dominating them but Jo wanted nothing more than to melt into Molly's arms. She didn't even realize how much she wanted it until she realized she wasn't going to get it; not yet at least. She felt selfish for even having a need herself; she wasn't the one who was going through a tragedy right now. Even so, she felt the nagging sensation of wanting to cry at the back of her mind.

"Henry is so upset right now" Jo burst out, before lowering her voice. "I know he's not acting like it but I know that deep down he's dying inside. I don't think he needs to be tied up and hit right now. I'm not sure he can take it right now."

"Do you not trust me, Jo?" Molly asked. Her voice and expression was neutral but the words were cutting. It wasn't really a question; Molly was really saying, 'You don't trust me'.

"Yes…..of course I trust you" Jo said, feeling instantly defeated. Molly would never do anything to hurt Henry and to imply that she would either spoke of lack of care on her part of lack of knowledge, neither of which described Molly.

"I'm just really worried about Henry right now" Jo admitted, trying to explain herself.

Molly squeezed Jo's hand gently. "Henry came here for a reason" Molly told her. "He might not even know what that reason is but he has something inside him he needs to get out. It's good that he came here; it shows he recognizes when he needs help and he's reaching out for it. I'm not going to hurt him" Molly's voice was kind but firm; she made it known that she not to be questioned in her methods.

Jo knew to trust her; if Henry really had something he needed to tell her then she had to let Molly help him.

….

Henry had suffered so many losses and heartaches in his long life but he was sure that he had never felt this much pain.

Abe….his son….was dying. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he couldn't deny it. By some miracle, Abe could still pull through with his health and sanity but it would be just that; a miracle. Henry had always known that this day was coming; it was the very reason that he had almost not adopted Abe seventy years ago. Abigail had convinced him though and he was grateful she did. As much as he'd suffered when he'd lost Abigail, the love they shared was worth it. And though Henry knew that the pain he was feeling now was worth the love and joy that Abe had brought to his life, it sure didn't feel like that now.

It was the worst feeling Henry could imagine; watching your child suffer and being able to do nothing about it made Henry feel so powerless. Henry had always been able to help Abe when he was in pain or sick or unhappy; now that he needed him the most, there was nothing that Henry could do. It didn't matter that Abe had had a long life and this was the natural course of things; when you were immortal everyone else's 'long lives' seemed so short and they were never enough. No parent should have to outlive their child and Henry did not want to be the exception to that rule.

He knew he'd been horrible to Jo in all of this but he simply couldn't stop himself. He felt his behavior spiraling out of control but all he could think about was Abe and being consumed by his pain. Jo was just trying to help him but he couldn't mourn properly when she was around. Already she was suspicious that Henry was hiding something about their relationship though she had always been good not to press him on the issue. And undoubtedly, if Abe was awake and could talk he'd scold Henry for not telling Jo especially in this moment. But Abe wasn't awake and he might never be and Henry couldn't think about the pain of telling Jo or Molly his secret. If he did that, he could lose not only Abe in this moment but the only two other people who loved him in this world.

For a moment, Molly had almost gotten him. With her musical, gentle tone and her smooth fingers against his cheek she had almost put him in that spell she was so good at. He'd wanted to tell her in that moment everything. He wanted to tell her Abe was his son and how much it hurt to be losing a child, how it felt as if nothing would ever be right again. He'd almost slipped but he had caught himself in time. No, he couldn't make a mistake like that again.

He was just so full inside; full of anger, full of hurt, full of anguish. He felt like he might explode from everything that he was feeling and that was precisely the reason he was here. For most of his life he had just felt things so strongly; more that he thought other people felt. This had always been to his mental detriment and he'd never found an adequate way to soothe his emotional aches. Until…he'd found Iona and her brand of therapy. He didn't know why it worked and he really didn't care. Exchanging emotional pain for physical pain simply worked when nothing else did. Now, when he was dying inside, he needed Iona, wanted her to make him feel pain. He was looking forward to the burn and sting of whatever implement that Iona chose to use on him. Anything that could be a distraction to him in this time was welcome.

Henry had to admit that he really didn't fancy sitting on the floor like a child as he watched Iona and Jo whispering to each other. But, he wasn't really surprised. He never challenged Iona like Jo sometimes did and he could see the fire in her eyes when he had ordered her to hit him. No doubt this position on the floor was to make him feel submissive and smaller and though he admitted that it had worked for a moment, he still had the fire burning inside him. He wanted to make Iona angry; he didn't want to be good, innocent Henry this time. If he could make her angry, really angry, she would hurt him like he wanted he relished the thought.

After what felt like forever, Iona walked over to him, chains in hands. Without a word or a glance at him, she walked behind him and pulled his jacket off before wrenching his hands behind him. He was expecting the feel of handcuffs on him but what she attached to him was heavy, thicker. Shackles….essentially they were no different really than handcuffs but in principle they made all of the difference. She had never used them on him before; she couldn't possibly know how they would make him feel, right? Shackles like prison, like the asylum…with one hand trapped, Henry flinched away from Iona as the bitter taste of bile rose in his throat from panic. He was quickly chastised.

Iona's hand grabbed the back of his neck, squeezing hard at precisely the right point to make him jerk back in pain, his head failing back into her hand. "Don't you fight me, Henry. You're in enough trouble" Iona warned him, squeezing harder before releasing him and trapping his other arm in metal.

As Iona made her way around to put a set of shackles around his ankles, Henry forced himself to breathe slowly and evenly so that he wasn't over taken with memories of his distant past that shackles brought back. Feeling the residual sting of the place on his cheek where Iona had slapped him seemed to calm him. Maybe he could get her to do it again.

Henry intentionally moved his legs around as Iona was trying to trap them. Her eyes immediately moved up to meet Henry's and he was waiting to see fire there; he was disappointed when she didn't look angry. With a neutral face she abandoned the shackles and walked to the table behind him without saying anything. He was beginning to think that she was merely going to ignore him when he felt the harsh, hard smack of a cane against his back, effectively taking his breath away.

Something snapped inside Henry's brain as he felt the air freeze in his lungs and the hot sting of pain radiate through his muscles. This…this was what he needed. He didn't think about Abe, didn't think about anything but the pain in his body and the rush that filled his head. It made him pause…made him hurt but there was a certain liveliness that spread through him at it. Yes…this was exactly what he needed. No talking, no emotions, simply feeling…..

Iona only hit him twice but it was adequate to make him crumple forward from pain. She had never used the cane on him before and he could see why now; it hurt worse than her usual instruments. Henry was sure that it would leave bruises that would hurt for days.

"I am not a fan of this defying version of you, Henry" Iona said, walking around to come back to Henry's feet, locking his ankles into the shackles. Henry breathed deep, a wave of panic overcoming him. Iona surprised him by leaning forward so that her mouth was pressed against his ear, her hot breath sending a shiver down his back. "I know you like to be difficult but I was hoping you let me take care of you tonight"

Henry felt the need inside him give a shudder as Iona's skin pressed against his own. Just as earlier, he felt he could tell her his pain; he wanted to tell her his pain. He felt his hands try to reach out toward her before they resisted the bond of the shackles; it was a welcome distraction because it prevented him from touching her. She wasn't Molly now; she was Iona. Either way, he couldn't tell her his pain.

Doing the only thing that he could do, Henry flinched away from Iona's touch, even though a part of him wanted it. "I don't need to be taken care of" Henry insisted, his voice taking on a hard edge as he shut down. He closed his eyes so he didn't have to look at her, at her disappointment. He felt the residual pain of the cane against his back and wished for it again. He wanted to feel the sting of pain on his skin instead of the loss in his heart he was trying to fight.

Iona stood up so that she was no longer looking at Henry. She moved across the room, grabbing a chair and placing in front of Henry. Jo came to sit in the chair; the placement of it spoke to Henry that he was lower than her. Henry was to be at Iona's mercy as well as Jo's.

"Then what do you need, Henry?" Jo asked. Her voice was quiet but her eyes betrayed everything. Henry had completely ignored her lately; he'd been horrible. He could see the worry and fatigue in her eyes. She could see that he was hurting and she wanted to help. How could he possibly tell he that there was no way that she could help?

Henry looked up at her before looking away; there was nothing he could say. She persisted. "Henry, I know you are hurting. I know you're upset. Why won't you open up to me and tell me how you're feeling?" Jo asked. She was hurt by Henry's secrecy and he hated hearing it in her voice.

He couldn't…..there were so many things that he could be open about and share now. Iona had taught him how to open up to Jo, to trust her when he had learned to trust no one. But not about this…..not about Abe. He couldn't tell her how he felt right now because there was no way she could understand the pain he was going through losing a child. No one knew how painful this was for him.

Henry closed his eyes to prevent looking at Jo and to stop the flow of tears that wanted to make its way out of his eyes. He was relieved when he felt the smack of the cane against him again, just once but it produced enough pain that he could focus on that. He gritted his teeth as he felt the shockwave of the pain spread through his skin and leave it sore and bruising.

"Henry, Jo is speaking to you. Open your eyes" Iona commanded.

Henry didn't want to; he took long enough to respond that Iona hit him again. In the heady glow of the second spell of pain, Henry's eyes opened, but just barely. He looked up at Jo with heavily lidded eyes, his arms digging into the shackles cold and cutting.

"I want to help you, Henry" Jo said, her voice emotional. Henry thought about the fact that she was not bond, she had not been hit and she was opening up freely to him about her feelings. He envied her freeness.

"I've lost people too….."Jo said, looking at Henry sadly. She wanted to empathize with him; the understanding made a wave of pain shoot through his heart. No one could understand his pain.

"It's not the same" Henry said, his voice slightly wailing as it broke free from his lips. He closed his eyes, forcing his wrists against the shackles so he could feel some measure of pain that was not his emotions.

"Then tell me, Henry. Explain it to me." Jo said understandingly. She looked up at Iona behind Henry as if getting some confirmation that he couldn't see before she got out of the chair and knelt down in front of him. Putting her arms around him, she hugged him tightly. She was warm and comforting; she melted against him perfectly. A sigh escaped his lips at the unwarranted but deeply wanted touch. He'd not let Jo really touch him at all since Abe's stroke because he knew if he let her hold him he would lose it, just as he felt himself losing it now.

"I know you haven't really told me who Abe is…..why he's so important to you" Jo whispered in his ear, her arms still tightly around him. "But I know you love him and so I know this must be killing you"

Waves of loss and sadness were washing over Henry, like a great flood inside him threatening to consume him. He really didn't want to resist; he was old and tired and he wanted to give into something for once. But he just couldn't….Jo's words alarmed him enough that he could focus on that and not how nice it felt for her to hold him. "I know you haven't really told me who Abe is…..why he's so important to you"…..She knew he was lying to her about who Abe was. Despite his best efforts she knew there was a connection there he was lying about.

Aching inside and feeling like a monster, Henry moved, squirming out of Jo's touch. "Stop…stop!" Henry said desperately, pulling away from Jo. He had to make her mad too; as long as Iona and Jo were mad at him, they couldn't be looking at him so sympathetically.

But when Jo pulled away and sat back down in her chair, Henry could see no anger on her face. All he saw was hurt in her eyes and he had put it there. When the cane hit him this time, it brought none of the emotional release he'd been hoping for.

…..

Jo had known that this was going to be painful before they'd even showed up to Molly's office. She knew that because of Henry's emotional distress, he was much more likely to push the envelope than he normally would have. But Molly seemed to have confidence that Henry wanted to express something and so Jo had trusted her. If Molly said Henry needed this, then she had no choice but to trust her. Molly cared for Henry and she wouldn't do anything to hurt him. As always, Jo trusted Molly's judgement.

But what she hadn't been counting on, perhaps foolishly, was how much this was going to affect her. Though she had not once been hit she felt emotionally wrecked. Watching Henry get hit was worse when she wasn't also getting beat. Henry kept pushing Molly to hit him and Jo knew she was not wrong in assuming that Henry was enjoying the pain. Maybe he was looking for a distraction from all of what was going on right now but Jo was alarmed by the way Henry relished every single ounce of pain he was given. It was a good thing that Jo trusted Molly to stop when Henry had had enough; if left to Henry, Jo wasn't sure that he'd ever stop. Though he'd gotten better over the course of the time that Jo had known him, she never forgot how his self-preservation skills were completely nonexistent.

Henry's rejection hurt Jo more than it should have. So much she just wanted to comfort Henry. For a second she had felt him give into her hug; he wanted it. But then just as quickly he pushed her away. He was fighting her; fighting her affection and her understanding. He was resisting from giving in more than he ever had and Jo just couldn't understand why. Henry had come to admit some pretty heavy things in their time together and she couldn't imagine what could be so bad that Henry couldn't tell her. She had thought that they had finally arrived in a place of intimacy where Henry could be honest with her fully but she saw that maybe she'd been wrong.

Watching Henry hurt Jo physically; every time he got hit she could see the pain on his face and it made her ache for him. It went on so long that Henry was a pale, sweating mess. His face was white and drawn in pain, his eyes red but void of the tears that he normally would have had at this point in the session. He was leaning over in pain, his back no doubt aching terribly. Henry was so stubborn than Molly had begun to lessen the strength behind her hits, a thing Jo had never seen her do before.

Jo flinched when Henry was hit and he crumpled in on himself, hissing in pain but still refusing to cry or give in in anyway. Jo felt tears prick in her own eyes as she felt the wave of sympathetic pain wash over her.

"What is wrong with you, Henry?" she burst out, her voice loud and anxious. It wasn't the tone of voice that she had intended on using but it was sufficient in gaining Henry's attention.

Henry's head snapped up from where it had come to rest on his chest in exhaustion. "What?" he asked. He seemed surprised by her sudden outburst.

Jo took a deep breath, resigned to keep her tears in check. She didn't want to lose it; Henry was the one that needed sympathy, not her. "I said, what is wrong with you?" Jo asked again. "Why are you doing this? Just give in Henry"

It was a question that Jo had not asked for a long time. She knew Henry's stubbornness in sessions by now and it was always worth the time put in to get to Henry's answer. But this was beyond; Henry was in serious pain, physically and emotionally and he didn't need to be. She couldn't help but feel his resistance this time was a direct result of him not wanting to share with her and that hurt.

Henry looked at her with pain filled eyes, biting so hard on his lip she could see blood on his teeth. "Is that all you have to say?" he asked, his voice heavy and raw. "You have no idea….."

Jo was hurt by the insinuation that she had failed him somehow, that she had failed to understand him in some major way. "Okay, fine Henry. I'm completely ignorant…why don't you enlighten me…..please. Tell me what the reason is for all of this because I don't understand at all" Jo said desperately, entreating Henry to understand.

Henry didn't answer; he just looked away like Jo was afraid he would. She was surprised when Molly grabbed him by the hair and forced his head up to look at her. "Henry…..this is enough, don't you think? Answer Jo's questions" she said forcefully. Because she was standing behind Henry, she allowed herself to show her distress on her face for a second before recovering. She was tired as well; her emotions were spent. She knew she was coming to the end of what she could do for Henry and it scared her. It scared Jo even more.

Henry persisted in his stubbornness. He tried to pull out of Molly's grasp even though the pain on his face was visible. Jo wanted to scream at him; she wanted to do something that would get him to say something. Luckily, Molly didn't feel as desperate as she did. Jo watched her release Henry's head with a cool expression.

"Jo" Molly said calmly, dropping the cane to the floor.

Jo's head snapped up and her eyes met Molly's, surprised at her direction. She'd been mostly left to her own during this session, all of Molly's attention on Henry.

"Take off Henry's clothes; leave him in his underwear" Molly said, her voice neutral. She gave Jo a glare that urged her to trust her, but other than that Jo had to admit she didn't see where this was going.

Not understanding what Molly hoped to achieve by this but knowing she had some purpose, Jo stood up from her chair to move toward Henry. She could see then that there was panic in his eyes. He looked up at Jo as if begging her to not do this and she couldn't understand his hesitance. She'd seen him without his clothes on plenty of times and he'd never been the least bit self-conscious. Often times he was even a bit cocky about his good looks; knowing he was attractive and using it to his advantage. Other than a massive scar on his chest that he couldn't explain and seemed extremely sensitive about, he'd never showed any shyness about his body. Maybe it was because Molly was here but Jo doubted that; she couldn't imagine him being shy around her.

When Jo walked up to Henry as Molly slipped the key for his shackles into her hand, she could see the panic clearly in Henry's eyes. Though it wasn't something she enjoyed seeing, she was hopeful that if Henry was this worried he might soon breakdown. Jo bent down to undo the cuffs on Henry's hands, then moving to the ones on his legs. When she moved up to pull off Henry's tie, he grabbed her arms with his freed hands.

"Don't do this, Jo" he begged her, a frenzy in his eyes, his hands a vice grip.

"No touching, Henry" Molly commanded him, standing directly behind him. Henry's arms fell back to his sides at her order surprisingly but he was still begging Jo not to do it. When Jo looked up at Molly, she simply nodded her command that Jo keep doing what she was doing. Jo began to work the tie off, despite Henry's crumpling against her in defeat.

It wasn't that Jo trusted Molly more than she trusted Henry but when faced with obeying Molly or Henry, she chose Molly. She didn't understand Molly's order or Henry's reaction to it but she knew as she always did that if she did what Molly told her things would work out.

When Jo had finished pulling off Henry's extensive layers, she stood back looking for orders from Molly. But before Jo could get another order, she was able to stand back and get a good look at Henry. She had never seen him look sadder or more defeated than he looked at that moment.

It was almost enough for Jo to tell Molly they couldn't go on. Henry sat on the floor in nothing but his boxers looking miserable as his head crumpled down in shame. When he finally looked back up at Jo, she could see that tears were finally running down his face. Though Jo never wanted Henry to be in pain or to see him upset, but she was glad that he was finally releasing some of the grief that he had been holding in.

"Come on Henry…..lets be done with this" Jo beseeched as she gazed into Henry's tear filled eyes. She saw a stirring in them and was sure that he was going to talk.

But instead of talking, Henry hid his face with his hands, preferring to be silently in pain than to open up. Jo hung her head, sighing heavily; she didn't even know what to do anymore.

Jo felt Molly's hands on her shoulders as she came up behind her. Jo wanted to lean into the touch but she knew that they weren't done and she had to hold on. "Bind Henry's hands back" Molly whispered in her ear before moving away from Jo again.

Feeling inexplicably tired, Jo moved to stand behind Henry where she had dropped the heavy medieval looking cuffs. As soon as she picked them up and turned around to bind them, she dropped them back to the floor in horror.

Jo had never seen Henry look worse than he did at that moment. In the beginning of their sessions, Jo had often been horrified to see the lash marks on Henry's skin afterwards. He was stubborn and he often had the wounds to prove it. But as time went on, as horrible as it sounded, she had grown accustomed to the marks so that they didn't surprise her anymore. But these were not the red welts that a whip or riding crop left behind. These were bruises and there were more of them than even Jo would have expected. Almost all of Henry's back was covered in purple and blue bruises. When Jo's fingers touched it lightly, Henry flinched in pain.

Jo was horrified; how could Henry possibly endure this kind of pain? She knew he had a far greater capacity for physical pain than emotional pain but this was extreme even for him. What could he possibly want to keep in so badly that he would willingly put up with this pain, encouraging it even? Jo's fingers kept returning to Henry's bruises and battered flesh, wanting to do something to make it go away.

As her sadness ebbed away, it was replaced by another wave of emotion. Jo felt anger begin to burn inside her. How could Molly hurt Henry this much? She had always said that she wouldn't hurt someone beyond what they could take but surely this was abuse. Even if Henry wanted this, this was not okay.

Jo's eyes looked up to Molly, rage burning in her eyes. Molly's face was relaxed and unsurprised by Jo's anger and it made her even angrier.

Without thinking what she was doing, Jo moved toward Molly, fully intent on making sure that some of her skin was soon black and blue like she'd done to Henry. Molly might have plenty of experience beating people but Jo was sure that she could beat her in a fight.

Molly didn't even back up as Jo approached her and that made her even angrier. Lifting both of her hands, intent on pushing Molly back into the wall, Jo lunged at Molly in an emotional burst.

Molly surprised Jo by anticipating her actions. As Jo reached out, Molly grabbed her by the wrists, pulling her around so that she was the one against the wall. Angry and annoyed that she somehow had lost the upper hand already, Jo prepared for a fight.

She wasn't prepared for Molly to wrap her arms around her in a hug and lay her head against Jo's shoulder so that her face was tilted towards Jo's. "I pushed him just to the edge, Jo. He's alright." Molly whispered to her quietly.

Jo wanted to be angry at Molly; she wanted to argue and push her away. But as soon as her anger had come on, it dissolved just as quickly. She knew Molly hadn't done it to hurt Henry; she loved him. And Jo wanted too badly to melt into the hug to fight. So, that's what she did; she wrapped her arms around Molly and gave in even if it was just for a moment.

"I can't do this anymore" Jo whispered, tears coming out of her eyes and rolling down her cheeks silently as she let her head rest against Molly's.

"I know" Molly said. "It's okay. It's over now. Just wait and see"

All too soon Molly was moving away from Jo, giving her an encouraging smile before turning toward Henry. Molly crouched down on the floor so that she was at eye level with Henry who was still crying quietly to himself.

"It's over Henry. Time to come out with it" Molly said in a serious but caring voice. She reached out a tentative hand toward Henry's cheek, rubbing her thumb along his cheek comfortingly.

Henry's head snapped up, his eyes wide with concern and worry. "No…..no. I'm not done" he argued, his lip trembling.

"You are done" Molly insisted, her voice kind as she wiped away his tears with her fingers. "You're in pain, Henry. Time to let it go; that's why you're here."

Henry began to sob, closing his eyes as sobs shook his body. It broke Jo's heart and when she sat down on the floor next to Molly and took Henry's hand, Molly didn't stop her.

"No…..hit me. Hit me again" Henry begged. The crying, weak sob of his voice was a complete contrast from the angry tone he'd used to command Molly in the beginning to hit him, showing how far his defenses had been weakened.

"No" Molly insisted firmly. "You have had enough."

"No!" Henry said a little more forceful this time but it still sounded pitiful in the midst of a sob. "Don't stop…..hit me again!"

"Why? I know you're in pain" Molly said. "I know you can feel every ache, every bruise and it has to hurt terribly. Why would you possibly want more?"

"I want more!" Henry gasped, his face drawn in pain. "I need to feel more pain! It's the only thing that will stop the thoughts!"

"I know you're hurting" Molly said, "And not just where you've been hit. You're hurting inside too. Let us help you; talk to us"

"No!" Henry fought. "Hit me…..shock me…..something. Anything…..just not this"

"Henry, I'm not going to add to your injuries. I'm not going to really hurt you" Molly said in a calm voice. "I care about you and I want to keep you safe"

"Well I don't!" Henry said. He pulled his hands away from Jo and flinched out of Molly's grasp. He closed his eyes as he was consumed by a wave of grief, sobbing so hard that his body shook in silent tremors. "I don't care! What's the point?"

Jo's heart ached and it took all of her strength not to reach out towards Henry. Henry's pain was even greater than she had imagined. His internal pain was so heavy he didn't care if something bad happened to him. Henry had always exhibited risky behavior that sometimes suggested that he didn't have a normal self-preservation instinct like the rest of humanity but to hear him actually say he didn't care if Molly continued to beat him to a pulp worried her terribly.

"The point is that Jo and I care about you and we want you to safe and well" Molly said slowly. Henry curled up on himself so that his face was completely hidden. At Molly's words, he began to murmur through his sobs. Jo had to lean almost all of the way towards him to hear what he was saying.

"Abe…Abe…"Henry was whispering so quietly to himself that it was nearly impossible to hear him.

"Abe wouldn't want you to treat yourself this way, would he?" Molly asked, hearing Henry's mantra. "You care about him, love him even, right? I'm sure he feels the same for you. He wouldn't want you to do this."

Something finally snapped inside Henry and Jo could see it. She could see it in his watery eyes, in the paleness of his face, the way he pulled at his hair in anguish. "Abe is dying….." he said in a voice that sounded more like a moan than anything. "Abe is dying and it won't matter! He'll be dead and I'll be alone. I wish I could just go with him but I can't even do that. I'm supposed to protect him, keep him safe but he's leaving and going the one place I never can go!"

Jo listened, frozen in her place. She was afraid that if she moved or did the slightest thing to be noticed Henry would stop talking and she didn't want that. What Henry was saying didn't make much sense but it wasn't uncommon for someone who was losing a loved one to wish they could 'go on with them' into death. But even so it felt strange to Jo; it felt loaded somehow.

Henry stayed silent for a long moment, hands gripping at his hair and covering his face in anxious movements, the quiet only broke by his sobs.

"Abe….my Abe" Henry wailed, his voice breaking as if his heart was shattering. "My Abe…. My sweet little boy…All I want to do is protect you…I failed you…First Abigail…..and now you …."

Henry was a mess, completely lost in his emotions. It would have been easy to dismiss Henry's remarks as ramblings of a grieving man if it hadn't been his immediate reaction. As soon as the words came out of his mouth he paled, taking a shaky breath as he looked at them to see if they had heard what he'd said. He'd gotten lost in himself and now that he was back, he looked embarrassed.

Jo was confused. It wasn't just that Henry had called Abe his 'sweet little boy' which was odd enough. It was the way he said it, the way he spoke all of the words. With so much emotion, so much loss….if someone didn't know anything about Henry they would have assumed he was speaking of a child. And what of his mentioning Abigail? Henry told her that Abigail left him; now he was making it sound like she had died too. So much of what Henry said about his past didn't make sense. Even so she would have forgotten it all if he didn't suddenly look so pale and panicked.

Molly obviously saw more meaning in his words and knew how to manage the situation. Molly put her hands on either side of Henry's face as he gasped, trying to find words but still at a loss. "It's okay, Henry. You did well" Molly said, giving Henry the sweetest of smiles even though there were tears in her eyes. "I know you couldn't tell us."

Henry's eyes grew wide as saucers, terror on his face. "Y-you…know?" he asked.

Know what? Jo wanted to scream. She felt oddly left out, being the only non-sherlockian genius in the room that couldn't see everything. But she didn't want to break the tension so she simply held her breath, watching.

Molly smiled at Henry. "I look forward to hearing your explanation" she said, staring into his eyes.

"I-I….." Henry tried to argue desperately. His eyes were filled with fear as if he was mortally afraid; it made no sense.

Molly stopped him in really the only way that was capable of keeping Henry quiet. She gave Henry the smallest of kisses, pressing her lips to his for a second, just long enough to surprise him into silence. "Shhh…..you're alright" Molly assured him again before he could get worked up again.

Molly turned her attention from Henry to Jo and she could see the visible worry on her face. She was shaken…and in a way that Jo had never seen before. It made her own worry increase exponentially. She knew it wasn't fair, especially when Molly wasn't acting as her Iona persona, but she was the emotional compass in this odd triangle of theirs; if she was not alright, neither Jo nor Henry felt alight either.

"Jo" Molly said, forcing a smile on her face. "Why don't you take Henry to go get cleaned up. I'll leave you both some clothes and I'll make some tea. When you're done you can come to the living room and we'll all talk, okay?"

Jo felt herself nodding numbly even though she felt like she was in shock. "Yeah…okay" Jo said. She felt cold and numb and when she looked at Henry she began to worry. He looked so guilty…..worry and stress were practically emanating from him. She worried that he wouldn't even want to come with her; he looked scared of her almost. But when she held out her hand, Henry took it eagerly.

He had some difficulty getting off the floor due to the extensive bruises he had and he was slow as he walked alongside Jo out of the office and towards Molly's bathroom. Silence dragged on painfully; Jo wished that Henry would say something but she could sense that wasn't going to happen.

Jo was used to sessions with Molly ending with everything having been cleared up. She was used to Henry and herself telling each other exactly what was on their minds. Ending it with Henry basically saying nothing at all was strange and it left Jo with a bad feeling. She knew that Molly expected Henry to talk when he came back but that didn't ease the strange feeling she had.

Henry and Abe's relationship made no sense to Jo. She was so sure in the beginning that Abe surely had to be Henry's father; how else could you explain their closeness? But Henry was so protective of Abe that that didn't make sense. Henry would worry when Abe had been out too late, would fret needlessly when Abe was sick and would chide him about his less than healthy habits. He hovered around Abe like he was a baby chick sometimes; Jo always thought it was cute but Henry tried to reign in his behavior when Jo was around like he wanted to hide it. She had caught Henry give Abe a hug or a quick kiss on the top of his head on several occasions when he thought she wasn't looking. A few months ago when she had come to pick Henry up on a case she'd saw Abe putting his coat on preparing to leave the shop.

"Aren't you going to give your dear old dad a hug?" Henry asked with a cheeky smile, holding his arms out.

"Oh, please. Henry…..I'm going to the shop. I'll be back in five minutes" Abe had chided him but he was smiling as he said it.

"Just humor me" Henry had insisted grinning.

Abe tried not to smile. "Fine, I'll humor you, you crazy old man" he said as he gave Henry a hug.

It had seemed like a merely a cute exchange at the time but now Jo felt like she was questioning everything she'd seen and thought about them. If Abe wasn't twice Henry's age, he could be Henry's child the way he acted around him. But that wasn't possible; so why was Henry so protective of him?

When they reached the bathroom, Henry stepped inside the room first and crossed to the tub, sitting on the edge. Jo could see the pain on his face the simple move created and felt sympathy for him. She closed the door behind her and paused, looking at Henry for a moment. He kept glancing at her and then looking away, as if he didn't want to be caught staring. He looked lost, scared…he was waiting for Jo's direction; waiting for the inevitable.

Jo walked to the tub, turning the water of the shower on. She knew a shower would do Henry some good; she wasn't sure the last time he'd had one. But she knew his wounds would be sensitive and she made sure the water was not too warm.

With the shower going, Jo closed the curtain and came around to where Henry sat, shivering despite the warming steam. She stood in the space between Henry's legs, placing her hands on his shoulders as she looked down at him.

"Henry" Jo said his name tentatively. Her quite voice seemed oddly loud in the quiet of the room.

Henry looked up at Jo, worry and hurt in his eyes. He looked like he was about to say something but thought better of it. A second later he leaned up and kissed her; mouth open, quick and passionate. It took Jo by surprise, the air leaving her lungs as Henry gripped her face and kissed her. He'd kept her at arm's length since Abe had been in the hospital and it took her by surprise. But she could sense his desperation and matched it with her own, giving in to kissing Henry back.

Jo's head was spinning as she finally pulled back. "Henry….what's going on?"

"Don't ask…..not yet" Henry in a quiet plea. He laid his head against her chest, hiding his face as if he could disappear from her.

Jo had so many questions; so much about Henry didn't make sense. The only explanations that could explain his life were completely ludicrous. They were crazy notions that might make sense in Lucas' comic books but made no sense in reality. They were ideas that came to her when she was trying to sleep at night, ones she couldn't face in the light of day. She had put it out of her head until now but now her head was buzzing with questions. She couldn't have imagined that his explanation would have been as bad as she'd made it out to be but the look of worry on his face confirmed her fears that something was terribly wrong.

"None of this makes any sense" Jo said, pulling Henry's head back away from her so that she could look fully at him.

"I know" Henry said honestly. "I'll try to make it make sense. But…..before…..I just want you. Before…just let me have his"

Dread hit Jo's stomach like a stone; whatever Henry had to tell her was so bad that he was sure she was going to leave him. Before…before…he kept saying that because he was sure that after he told her he would never have this, have her, again.

Jo wanted to tell him that he was wrong to worry; she wanted to tell him that nothing could change things between them. But she couldn't…She was afraid and she didn't want to make a promise that she couldn't keep. She knew that nothing that she could say would be truthful or would make Henry feel any better.

Jo didn't say anything and neither did Henry. The silence was unnatural coming from Henry; he seemed to be waiting for something that Jo was sure she couldn't give. Maybe he wanted her to say something; maybe he wanted reassurances. But Jo couldn't take the haunting silence anymore. Feeling want and need and fear swirling inside her so forcefully she wasn't sure she could bear it, Jo in toward Henry to kiss him again.

It seemed to be the only encouragement that Henry needed, matching her quick actions with his own passionate ones. When Henry began to pull her clothes off she didn't try to stop him; in fact she encouraged it, moving her lips from his to his neck and kissing him in exactly the way she knew was his undoing. When she heard him give a low growl in the back of his throat, she smiled against his throat as she pushed him toward the shower. She had no idea what was going on; she just knew if this might be the last moment they had unscathed by what Henry was going to tell her, she was going to make it count.

….

Jo walked down the hallway toward the living room, glancing nervously at Henry. He was shuffling his steps at a snail's pace, walking like an old man from the aches and pains that were finally making their selves known to him. Jo had felt a fresh wave of horror upon seeing Henry's bruises when helping him dress after the shower and she was glad when he silenced her growing panic by kissing her. Neither one of them had spoken since Henry had told her he just wanted her and Jo was surprised by how okay it felt now. She didn't even know what to say at all and she was glad that Henry or Molly would be the one to break the silence.

Jo felt a slight twinge of guilt as she walked into the living room and saw Molly sitting by the fire place, a mug in her hands going untouched as she stared absently into the fire. Worry was written all over her features and Jo wondered the turmoil going through her head. Jo was sure that Molly seemed to know more than she did about Henry's secret from some minuscule detail that Jo had missed and she could only imagine how desperately she wanted to speak her worries. They had kept her waiting long enough; Jo and Henry had stayed in the shower long after the water had gone cold, finally detaching themselves long enough to get out. Jo had found the pajamas that they kept at Molly's for nights after sessions sitting on the edge of the sink and blushed a bit at the thought. When had she snuck in and put them there? While she and Henry hadn't spoken any, they certainly weren't quiet.

Jo pushed the needless embarrassment she felt out of her mind as Molly turned to see them enter the room. She gave them the ghost of a smile but even she didn't put that much effort into it as she patted the spot next to her for them to sit. Henry sat in the middle of Jo and Molly, visibly wincing as he used Jo as support to lower himself into a sitting position.

Molly handed them each a mug of tea but Jo couldn't fathom stomaching anything right now and quickly put it back down. Henry, who probably hadn't consumed anything in days, gulped his down quickly as if he might be trying to drown himself in it. Jo thought he might have been trying to buy himself time. She noticed his hands shaking as he put it down and knew that though he was more visibly composed now, he was terrified.

"Henry" Molly said, slow and cautious as soon as he had finished. "Can you tell Jo and me what's going on now? I know whatever it is, it isn't easy. But you can trust us, right? You know we both care about you and you can be honest with us."

Henry stared down at the floor, not looking at either of them. Jo was sure that he was losing his nerve and wasn't going to tell them. "You'll wish you didn't know. Its better this way. "Henry tried to tell them.

"I don't think it is" Molly insisted gently, her voice a calming antidote that instantly made Jo feel a bit better. "Whatever it is, it's obviously bothering you. You have to hide it from everybody, not just Jo and I. But Abe knows, doesn't he? That's what makes it so hard right now"

Henry looked at Molly with surprise, stunned that she seemed to know something that was very obviously the truth. "I didn't want to tell Abe. I had to tell him; I had no choice. But you two have a choice and believe me…..you don't want to know"

Jo's worry was increasing. What could possibly be this bad? She had thought she and Molly were pretty understanding of a lot of things; what could they not handle?

"Henry…..who is Abe?" Molly asked, her voice a little more forceful this time. When Henry started to say something, Molly interrupted him. "The truth, Henry…who is he to you. He isn't really your roommate."

Jo was thankful for Molly's firmness because she could see that it got to Henry. He realized that if he wanted to get out of this without losing Molly and Jo he had to say something. It must have been a terrible choice; knowing either way he might lose them.

Henry released a long, painful sigh, paling in worry. "No…..Abe isn't my roommate" he said, confirming what Jo had always known. "Abe…..is….."

Henry seemed to get stuck, his nerves overtaking him. Jo reached out her hand tentatively to slip her fingers into Henry's. "It's okay, Henry. Tell us" Jo encouraged him, squeezing his hand.

Henry squeezed her hand so hard back that Jo nearly winced. "You know, he's wanted me to tell you nearly ever since I met you" Henry said, giving Jo a small smile before looking away painfully. "If he ever wakes up, he'll be happy I finally told you."

Henry closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his face awash with mental anguish. He opened his eyes and stared into the fire, his hand even more a vice grip on Jo's as he finally spoke.

"Abe is my son" Henry said, his voice shaking at the admission.

Silence hung heavy in the room. Jo was waiting for Henry to say something else, explain his odd statement but when he didn't, she scrambled to think of something to say. She looked at Molly, hopeful that she would know what to say but she could see that Molly was just as stunned as she was, her mouth hanging open slightly. Whatever she had thought it must not have been this. After all, who could have predicted this? Sure, Jo thought it was unusual the words Henry used to describe Abe like precious and little and sweet but Henry was a very affectionate person once you got past his thousand layers of social weirdness so she didn't think much of it.

"What?" Jo burst out louder and ruder than she had meant to say it. Her mind was spinning out of control so fast she hardly knew what she was thinking.

Her tone surprised Henry and made him jump slightly. "Abe is my son. Not biologically, but I adopted him when he was a baby" he said, measuring each word as if they were costing him great pain.

Not biologically…As if that part mattered! The fact that Henry was implying he knew Abe when he was a baby over sixty years ago was the part she worried about. Jo's mind was catching up with her and it was making her feel as if the world was spinning out of control. This didn't make sense and yet Henry said it so bluntly it almost had to be true.

"Henry, Abe is twice your age" Molly said, relieving Jo of the responsibility of coming up with words for the moment. "I'll admit that your relationship seems caregiver-like in nature. But surely you don't expect us to believe you're older than Abe"

Molly managed to somehow sound so calm when Jo knew she had to be falling to pieces like she was. Henry was growing paler by the second; it was a miracle that he hadn't fallen over yet. Jo could feel his hand growing sweaty and hot in her own but he never let go of her.

"I know I don't look older than him and it's hard to believe but I am" Henry insisted. "I don't know how to explain it; I wish I did. I'm much older than I look" He turned toward Jo. "Surely you can admit that all things I've seen and done couldn't possibly be done in 35 years, right?"

Jo had to admit that there was merit to that. How many times had she thought that Henry couldn't possibly have known everything and did everything he did in such a short life? Sure, he was a genius but how could a genius even know seemingly every language like he did, have extensive knowledge on science, math, the arts and have had such a string of odd jobs like he had? He'd somehow managed to go to medical school at Oxford and Guam, been a gravedigger, doctor and medical examiner in roughly 15 years…..it didn't add up. Jo had even commented once that Henry would have had to live ten lives to learn everything he knew to which he cheekily commented, "Or just one very long life." He was always saying things like that…but this was impossible.

Henry's eyes were wide and hopeful; he wanted her to understand and accept him. "How old are you then?" Jo asked, her voice flat and emotionless. There was no way they were having this conversation; there had to be a logical explanation and this wasn't it.

Henry hesitated, sensing her tension. "I was born in 1779" he said, wincing as if waiting for her to explode. "I was killed in 1814. I was on the Empress of Africa and I was shot and thrown overboard. But I didn't die…..I came back. And for some reason I can't explain, every time I die, I come back in water. That's why I've been caught skinny dipping so many times. When I die I come back in the East River, naked. Don't you see? It's insane but it makes sense. That's why I was obsessed with the Empress of Africa, why I wouldn't let it go; I hoped to find some clue in it."

Jo felt like she couldn't breathe .The more that Henry spouted off this nonsense, the more she couldn't breathe. Why was he making this up? This was crazy…maybe Henry was crazy.

"Oh my god…..Henry" Molly said, her face shocked. Henry looked at her, worried, in time to see her face go from shocked to awed. "Why…..why didn't you tell us this sooner? Every time you've been caught skinny dipping…it means you've died? How many times have you died?"

Jo's world was spinning around her and she feared she might actually pass out. She pulled her hand away from Henry's as her head snapped up to look at Molly. "You actually believe this?" she asked her in disbelief.

Molly faltered for a moment. "Well…..yes" she said hesitant. "Why would Henry lie about this? Doesn't it all make better sense now? Its implausible, to be sure but it fits."

"We are supposed to believe that you're what…..immortal?" Jo asked, feeling cold and harsh as her words sounded. "You're telling us that you're over 200 years old and that you can't be killed. That when you die you show up magically in the water naked? Henry…it'd be more believable if you said you were a vampire. I mean, seriously…am I the only one that's doubting your sanity?"

"I know it's hard to believe!" Henry said beseechingly. "I hardly believe it myself. I've been trying to find out for two hundred years now why this is happening but I've never figured it out. I've told no one…..just Abe. You can understand why I couldn't tell you. I adopted Abe in 1945; told him my secret when he was old enough to understand it. I wanted to tell you…..I really did. But I didn't want you to have to know; it's not an easy secret. Please…..Jo. You've got to believe me. Ask me anything and I'll explain. Just please don't think I'm insane. Molly believes me….right?"

"Well…..I've seen so many things that don't make sense about you that something unbelievable has to be true about you" Molly said. She looked stunned still but she was smiling as she took Henry's hand. "If Abe is really your son…I can only imagine what you're going through."

Jo felt a bubble of panic in her chest that was constricting her breath and making her certain she just had to get out….Molly was going to be no help; she already was hopelessly drawn into Henry's web of insanity. She felt a pang of loneliness as she looked at Molly and Henry's entwined hands. She was rising from her spot before she fully made the decision to.

"Well…..fine" Jo said, feeling tears in her eyes but she refused to cry in front of them now. "This…is….this is insanity. You two…..do whatever the hell you want. I'm out of here"

Henry was looking at her with panic in his eyes, his mouth opening to stop her but Jo wasted no time in barreling out of the door.

…..

"Jo, wait!" Henry said, a wave of utter panic coming over him as Jo raced out of the room. He scrambled off of the floor as quickly as he could, struggling as pain shot through his back and shoulders.

"Henry, let her go" Molly said behind him, grabbing his hand as he stumbled toward the door. "Give her a moment to process this before you go after her."

Henry deflated, feeling the fight go out of him. Henry hadn't wanted to do this and this was exactly the reason why. He knew this could only end badly. Jo was so upset and he didn't blame her; not only did it sound crazy but he'd kept it from her for this long.

"She will forgive you, you know" Molly was saying behind him. Her soft voice stirred him. When he turned around, he saw Molly standing behind him. She was smiling gently at him; he knew with the sincerity she spoke the words she truly believed them. And if Molly said that Jo would forgive him, he knew it was a certainty.

"I wanted to tell her…..I wanted to tell you but I couldn't" Henry said. Molly's eyes shown with understanding as she looked at him but she expected explanation too. He felt terrible for not being able to tell her and Jo, the people who mattered most to him after Abe, about this huge part of his life. He'd had all of these sessions with Molly to get him to be open and honest and while it appeared that was what he had done, he'd really been lying to everyone by omission the entire time.

"I told someone a long time ago" Henry said, spilling his heart out because what other choice did he have now. "My wife, Nora. Right after I died the first time, I told her I was immortal. I was going to kill myself in front of her to show her it was true. She told she believed me to stop me but she didn't really believe me. She put me in an asylum." Henry took a deep breath, steading himself as the memories washed over him. "That's what I thought of the very first time we were alone in your office. You could see that someone had hurt me and I told you that it was a long time ago. I made it seem like it didn't matter but it did. Being in an asylum in the 1800s was…terrible. I faced horrors there I hope I never do again. It made me cautious to tell anyone my secret until I was sure that they would accept it. I could only tell the people I loved the most and trusted with my life."

"Like your wife, Abigail?" Molly asked curiously. "You told her"

"I had to tell her" Henry said. "She saw me die; I disappeared in her arms. She accepted me completely. I never told anyone my secret voluntarily, aside from Abraham, until now"

Molly stared at him with a calm expression, far too calm for the situation but her eyes were intense. "Until now…..with Jo and I" she said, her voice cracking with emotion

"Yes" Henry said. He longed so much to reach out to her but he didn't want to encroach on her personal space at a time like this. He was extremely relieved when Molly closed the space between them, wrapping her arms around him.

Molly's arms encircled him completely, squeezing him so hard that he could hardly breathe. It was the most emotional and personal hug from her that he had ever received. "In two hundred years you haven't felt you could trust anyone like me and Jo?" Molly asked. Henry was sure that he heard tears in her voice when she spoke.

Henry melted against her, breathing a sigh of relief. There was some small measure of relief in all of this. He rested his head against her shoulder, feeling her warmth and taking in the scent of lavender. He held on to her with no intention of letting go. "Does it surprise you?" Henry asked with a slight smile. "You see everything. Surely could see how much I care for you"

"It's nice to hear" Molly said with a slight sniffle.

Molly was so warm against him and Henry drank it in. How was it possible that at the same time he felt such overwhelming love bursting through his heart for Molly and heart breaking sorrow for Jo? "I'm so glad you believe me" Henry said.

"It's why you came here tonight" Molly said knowingly. "I'm sure that you didn't know it but you wanted to let it out. It's crazy Henry, I won't pretend that it's not. But you're so impossible that it actually makes sense"

"I need to go after Jo" Henry said, worry knotting through his heart.

Molly rubbed his back comfortingly and he relaxed a bit. "She knows it makes sense. She believes it but she doesn't want to yet. Be patient with her and she'll come around." Henry felt Molly's lips against his ear as she whispered to him. "She loves you more than anything you know"

Henry smiled despite himself. "I'll trust your expert opinion" he said. He reluctantly let go of Molly but she stayed close to him, one hand on his hip, the other on chest. She ran her hand along the spot where his scar lay, studying it as if she could see it through his shirt.

"Your scar…..it's when you died the first time" Molly said thoughtfully. It was a statement not a question.

"Yes" Henry said, letting his hand rest on Molly's hips, looking into her understanding eyes.

She was quiet for several minutes before she looked up at him with a sly smile. "Do you really come back naked? Don't people see you?" she asked.

Henry felt a blush on his cheeks despite himself. "Yes, unfortunately" he said. "I have several charges of indecent exposure on my record."

Molly smiled at him before she grew serious, giving him another heartwarming hug. "I'm so sorry about Abe. I can't imagine what you're going through right now."

Henry hugged her back, feeling tears in his eyes again despite how much he'd cried earlier. All of the emotion he'd felt ever since Abe had had his stroke poured out of him, now knowing someone could understand. "I'd do anything to trade places with him" Henry said, closing his eyes against Molly's shoulder as tears made their way out. "He's my son and I'm his dad…it should be me. I know he's a grown man but when I look at him in that bed, so vulnerable, all I see is my little boy."

It was so completely freeing to be able to say those words, for someone to understand the depth of love he really had for Abe. It was liberating to be able to collapse into tears again and say nothing but Abe's name over and over again like a prayer and have Molly know exactly how much he was hurting.

…..

Jo hadn't thought about her pajama clad state or lack of shoes as she tore out of Molly's house until she had gotten into the cab and the driver had given her the most peculiar look. She glared at him until he had kept his focus on the road in front of him and as soon as she was no longer being watched it was nearly impossible to hold in the tears of panic that were clawing at her throat. She just needed to get home; home was familiar and right now familiar was safe. Henry wasn't familiar at the moment; she apparently didn't know him at all.

Jo raced out of the cab and barely made it the front door before she lost it completely. Making it only as far as the stairs she collapsed like a heap on them, hot tears running down her face. She felt so many emotions at once it was so overwhelming she could barely stand it. She was angry; angry at Henry for all of his lies, angry at Molly for accepting this madness so willingly, angry at feeling like they had each other and she was alone. She was confused; if what Henry was telling her was true, then nothing about the world as she knew it made any sense and that was terrifying. And she was unbelievably sad; part of her knew all of this was true and if it was then Henry had suffered so much pain.

Jo didn't want to believe it; she wanted to throw out Henry's ramblings as the deranges of a lunatic. She'd always thought he was a bit off and she wanted to just believe that he'd finally lost his brilliant, beautiful mind; that would be easier. But the problem was that she did believe him. Not because it made any sense; maybe she was losing her mind too. But Henry was so strange that with him you could almost believe anything.

Everything about Henry said that he didn't belong in this century; the way he dressed, his refined way of talking, his knowledge of every single moment in history, his complete ignorance of technology and modern culture. All of the evidence she collected in her mind of him that didn't make sense fit into this crazy scheme that he was over 200 years old. Just the skinny dipping alone made sense; everyone had thought he was crazy and tried to heckle him over it but Jo had seen pain in his eyes. He wouldn't tell her anything about it even though she had pressed him. And his story about the Empress of Africa…..it had bothered her to no end at the time why he was so obsessed. Henry could and certainly did get very invested in cases but not like that; he was like a man possessed, one that simply couldn't let go of it when he was told to. Jo shuddered at even considering Henry had been on the ship. It was so out of her complete realm of understanding to believe that Henry, who she loved and worked with and saw every day had been alive in in the 1800s and killed on a slave ship. It was just so unfathomable she felt like she was living through an episode of the Twilight Zone or the X-Files. Surely no one's real life could be this crazy.

But the biggest piece of evidence, the one that was the hardest to ignore as truth, was Henry's assertion that Abe was his son. When she had first met Henry and tried to decipher their complex relationship she had considered that Abe could be Henry's father, friend, lover but none of it made sense. When you looked at the dynamics between Henry and Abe without considering their age, the idea that Abe was Henry's son made complete sense. It was why he worried about him so much, why he was so tender with him and why it was killing Henry to his very core that Abe might be dying now.

Jo's head was swirling with her insane thoughts but with all of the stress of the past few days, she felt herself drifting off to sleep, still on the stairs. She drifted in and out of consciousness unsteadily, unaware of how much time had passed. Some fuzzy time later, she heard the sound of knocking at her door. She ignored it as still part of her dream until she could hear the sound of Henry's voice distantly. "Jo! Please…..let me in" It was Henry's most desperate and dramatic tone and it was enough to rouse her.

Jo sat up and rubbed her sleep crusted eyes, feeling achingly stiff from her uncomfortable position. Jo's stomach churned with nervousness as she paused at the doorknob, seeing Henry's shadow outside the window. What would she say to him? She was stuck on the precipice of believing him or not believing him, hurting from it all. Hurting for herself that she knew so little of who Henry really was, hurting for Henry if his story was true. Molly's words from earlier came back to her; 'Why would Henry lie about this?' Henry had no reason to make up such a crazy story unless he really was insane which, though Jo sometimes doubted his sanity, she knew he wasn't. He had everything to lose by telling her and Molly something so far-fetched. Jo could remember the look of horror and pain in Henry's eyes as he had begged Jo to let him touch her, kiss her, be with her…it was obvious that he thought it might be the last time.

Feeling panic coming at her in waves but less intense than earlier, Jo opened the door. Henry stood on her doorstep, looking panicked and upset; his face was pale and his eyes completely red and swollen and for a moment she faltered. Looking like that all Jo wanted to do was pull him into her arms but she hesitated. She wasn't really sure why she felt reluctant but something made her hold back, waiting for him to make the first move. Molly stood on the step behind him, her eyes almost as red as Henry's, an unusually quiet expression on her face.

"Can I come in…..please?" Henry asked, giving a slight shiver, his coat thrown haphazardly over his pajamas.

"Yeah" Jo said nodding, feeling a twinge of nerves as she stood aside to let Henry and Molly in. She walked into the living room, nodding toward them for them to follow her. Jo sat on the end of the couch in her usual spot while Henry sat in the middle of her and Molly, clutching a small, wooden box in his lap. Jo felt her interest pique despite herself; did Henry actually have some kind of proof to back up his claim?

Jo watched Henry as he stared down at the box as if gathering strength for whatever he planned to say next. "You once asked me why I chose death" Henry said, his voice rough but he had worked to compose himself. "You wanted to know why I was so obsessed with death that I would make a career of it. And I dodged the question easily enough, like I have every other question you posed that got even remotely close to the truth about me.

"The truth is that I study death because it's the one thing that I can never do. I can live multiple lives, become anyone that I want, but I can't die. I have watched countless people I cared about die; I have faced so much pain that there was a long time that I wanted nothing more than to finally be able to leave this world. It's why I was a gravedigger, why I became an ME; if I couldn't die, I would at least spend all of my time among the dead I so envied and hopefully find a clue to why I am this way.

"But….I don't study death the way I used to. I don't desire it like I once did" Henry paused, his eyes full as he looked at Jo.

Jo's breath was in her throat and it felt like she hadn't breathed in a very long time. She knew he was waiting for some kind of response so she forced her mouth to work. "Why?" she managed to ask.

Henry smiled even though his voice broke when he spoke. "Because I have a reason to live" he said. "I have a reason to want to be on this earth now and that's because of you. You saved my life."

The sincerity and feeling in Henry's words were the biggest proof that he was telling the truth. She was almost able to forget they were talking about immortality because it felt so real. "What….what do you mean?" Jo asked, breathless.

"I can't die but when I met you I hadn't lived for a long time" Henry admitted. "I was grieving to the point that I gave up on living. I had to be in here in body but I was not here in mind."

Jo watched as Henry opened the box on his lap and pulled out a tattered black and white photograph and handed it to her. It showed a pretty, young woman smiling back at the camera. "This is Abigail" Henry said, his voice thick as he handed her the photograph. "I lost her in 1985. One day she just left me and for thirty years I thought that she left because she didn't care about me; I was convinced that she stopped loving me. It wasn't until we solved the case with Belinda Smoot…the one with the nurse…" Henry's throat caught and he paused for a moment. "Sylvia…..Abe's mom. It was Abigail. It wasn't until then that I knew that she wanted to come back to me; but instead tragedy took her from me"

Henry pulled another photograph out of the box and handed it to Jo. It showed the same woman holding a baby boy; Abigail and Abraham…

"After she left, I became obsessed with death" Henry went on. "I wanted nothing more than to leave this life and I wanted to find the reason I am this way so I could end it. I stopped caring about people, I stopped taking in life around me. I fully believed that my immortality was a curse and not a blessing. I stopped seeing anything beautiful until I met you. Slowly, bit by bit, you became my friend and showed me that there were things to live for. Because of you I don't want to be with the dead but the living."

Jo hated herself for the tears that came to her eyes but she couldn't stop it. She was completely overwhelmed but not in the way that she had been before. Before it had seemed like the crazy ramblings of a mad man; now it could only be true. Jo looked at the photographs through teary eyes and felt her heart break further. Abigail had always been an enigma to Jo; a huge, puzzling intimidation. Jo knew that she had been Henry's wife and that she had left him but that was the extent of her knowledge. Henry was always so defensive and upset when she asked about her that she figured it was best left in the past where it belonged. Jo had once made the mistake of asking what Abigail looked like out of her own morbid curiosity. Henry had hastily said that he had burned all of her pictures when she left him which was now clearly a lie but Jo understood why he couldn't show her then. Abigail had left such an impression on Henry, had so clearly damaged him that Jo felt intimidated by the ghost of her; what kind of love left behind that impression? Now Jo understood; that kind of love had been forged throughout decades together.

"I know it all seems crazy" Henry continued when Jo was silent. There was worry in his eyes, misinterpreting her tears. "I don't expect you be okay with this or to believe it all right now. But I hope you will eventually come to believe it and maybe even trust me again. I know that I don't really deserve your trust after all of this; I have lied to every day you've ever known me. But I hope you can see why I did it; why I had to do it. I love you, Jo. And I need you. I hope maybe you can feel the same."

After all of the time that she had been with Henry, after all of the sessions that Molly had put him through, she had never seen him be so sincere and open about his feelings. Everything about his expression and words were open and vulnerable for her to see. Behind him she could see Molly watching; completely silent and observing but smiling because she already knew Jo accepted him.

Jo threw her arms around Henry's neck, hugging him tight. She could tell by the limp posture of his arms and the way he jumped that he was not expecting this reaction at all. Jo met his lips with her own, kissing him long and slow. "Of course I still love you, you brilliant idiot" Jo said with a smile through her tears. She laid her head against Henry's shoulder, her eyes meeting Molly's inches behind him. She grinned at her with barely contained excitement.

"It's going to take me awhile to process it" Jo said, hugging Henry tight. "And I don't know if that means I'm as crazy as you. But either way that's okay."

….

The sun was coming up, shining through the windows in a pink haze as a new day came though Jo felt she, Henry and Molly were living through one long unreal day. Jo's eyes burned from fatigue but she couldn't still her mind long enough to sleep. That wasn't the case for Henry; freed of the truth that no doubt weighed on him every day, he crashed out completely, falling asleep on the couch against Jo. Jo ran her fingers through Henry's hair, watching him sleep and marveling how young and carefree he seemed. It was hard to believe he was over 200 years old.

"There's so much I want to know" Jo mused as she stared down at him. "I feel like I barely know him at all."

"I'm sure Henry will rectify that in time. Now that he can talk about it, I'm sure he'll never shut up" Molly said playfully. She lay against Henry's side, arm draped over Henry's chest as if to protect him. Her red eyes drooped but she was going to hold on as long as Jo did.

Jo had to smile at the remark. "I'm sure you're right" she agreed. They fell quiet as the sun made the rest of its way up. It was a long time before Jo spoke again.

"Just yesterday, things were completely normal" Jo said thoughtfully. "And now, today, I live in a world where people can be immortal. Unbelievable, isn't it?"

Molly turned her head to rest on Henry's chest to look better at Jo. She smiled warmly at her, in that way that only Molly could that made Jo feel as if everything in the world could be right as long as she was with her. "I've seen so many horrible, unbelievable things in the world" she mused. "It's nice to be surprised by something that's actually too good to be true."

Molly laid her head down, reaching across Henry to take Jo's free hand in her own. "After everything that we've made it through, I think we can make it through this." She squeezed Jo's hand. "And Henry's worth it."

Jo looked down at Henry's sleeping form before gazing over at Molly. She squeezed her hand back. "Yes" she said with a smile, settling against Henry. "This is definitely worth it"


End file.
